Today I miss her.

[rosebudsmom]

Today is my birthday and of all the days ... I miss my mother the most. My mom died of b-cancer,at age 57 a day before New years 2000. So this time of year in general is filled with memories, but it kinda surprises me that I still keep expecting her to call me to wish me a happy birthday............. Its the one day, during the year, that my connection with her was purely between mother and daughter. Will this day always feel like this?

[Ms. Mom]

First I'd like to say Happy Birthday (becasue your mother would have).

I'm so very sorry for her loss - Obviously, her presence in your life was very important to you. She gave birth to you and it would only make sence that you miss her today.

Your comming on the anniversary of her death. I'm sure the holiday season was difficult for you.

Have you thought of ways to memorialize her? What can you do to keep her memory with you?

I'll be thinking of you as you move through this difficult time.

[TripkeHughes]

Having not lost my mother, I can not pretend to understand completely. But my mother grieves my grandmother to this day and this time of year is awful. I feel for you and wish to take away your pain.

Peace and hugs.

[dfoy]

Ms. Mom had a good idea for you. Find some way to honor your mother. I have a charity for each of my parents that I give to in their honor on mother's day (Rose Brooks Center - a shelter for women seeking help and alternative living arrangements away from abusive SOs) & father's day (City Union Mission - a mission which provides meals, shelter, education, etc for the homeless in our inner city). I give to a different charity in their honor at Christmas (Harvesters-a food bank for the needy). They were such giving people, I'm sure that is what would, indeed, honor them.

My mother died in '88 and my dad in '89...both of cancer (diiferent types). They were both in their early 60's. I miss my mom & dad still very much but it is no longer in the forefront as it once was. Although I was very close to my dad and love him dearly, my mother's death was harder on me. She was my constant source of unconditional love. I am lucky to have a sister, as she has been that source for me and I for her since our mom's death.

Being a motherless child, no matter what your age is difficult. It takes time, but the raw edges really do wear away with time.

I really wish my mom could have known my dh...she would have loved him. They would have had a great time talking music (she was a concert violinist & he is a lead guitar player). And she would have been so happy about our new baby.

[lisamarie]

Rosebudsmom~

Happy Birthday and I'm sending you a big, big birthday hug! I am deeply sorry for your loss. Everyone here had some great suggestions.

Is there something that you and your mom used to do together that was really special? Maybe go to you and your mom's favorite coffee house or restaurant and celebrate with her, in spirit.

I know that anniverseries and other days of celebrations/holidays can be very hard.

My thoughts go out to you.

Hugs~

Lisa

[glh]

My mom died of ovarian cancer 7 1/2 years ago at age 59. I know what you mean. My birthday was always a time when she would call me. I also feel so strange when it is her birthday, she is buried in another state so I can't even visit her grave.

One of the things I really miss is being able to call my mom and talk and brag about the kids. Who else would have the patience to listen and actually agree with you? I don't have any sisters, just brothers, not the same, kwim?

My mother never met my two youngest children. She died thinking I could not have any more children and knowing how sad that made me. She also died before my niece was born. Her last experience as a grandmother was with my oldest son (10 when she died) and then when we lost our 3 1/2 month old ds. She would have been so happy to have three more healthy grandchildren and even more delighted to have the granddaughters she never thought she would have. My father has pretty much given up on life since she has been gone, he doesn't show much interest in his grandchildren and my kids don't have any other grandparents on dh's side.

They say you never truly grow up until you lose your mother, I think that is true. You really are left to figure things out on your own, but you still always ask yourself even if you don't fully realize it-what would mom think or say?

[rosebudsmom]

Thank you all for your warm, kind words. I am also so sorry for your own personal losses. It is a super idea to do something to remember her on that day... I'll have to think on it. The loss of my mother has taught me alot about myself, about my relationship I had with her and my own relationship with my daughter. I hope I can be a better person and mom from all of this. And again, thank you so much for all your warm thoughts.