I think I am too chicken for a homebirth...

[sunnylady303]

....but I really want one. I am 20 minutes from the closest community hospital and an hour from a major one. I keep thinking about things I've heard about babies being delivered and the placenta hemoraging and women who would have bled to death if there weren't medical treatment immediately avaiable. But, oh, to give birth at home where I could just be here with my family and my little girl and my new baby. How do you deal with those fears? Or do you? Should I just give up and go for another hospital birth? Advice and wisdom is very appreciated.

[fourgrtkidos]

I am sorry you are doubting a homebirth. It really is safer. Please visit the links in my sig.

I am a RN. I had a hospital birth first. Then worked in Labor and Delivery and New Born Nursery. After working there.... I searched for alternatives.

Hospital Births are not safer. We cause so much harm to normal labours and create soooooo many problems.

-Michelle


boy: girl: girl:

[Baby Hopes]

I definately suggest addressing your fears and playing out 'worst case scenerios.' That way when the time comes you will be able to make informed choices about the course of action you intend to take.

When I was pregnant with DD my OB (Yes, you heard me right ) suggested that I would make a strong candidate for a homebirth. I thought the man was nuts. And like a good indoctrined pregnant lady *tongue in cheek* I went on to have a hospital birth complete with an Epi. I think I was too nervouse and too confident that the doctor (different than my OB) would know best. Silly, silly me.

This time around I started out researching birthing centers. I knew I didn't want another hospital experience and this time I am confident in my body's ability to birth this babe. It took talking to a midwife to finally get that the only difference between a birthing center birth and my homebirth was location. Well, plus the birthing center has a nice big jacuzzi. But I digress.

I've been doing a lot of reading and researching. To include just reading other people's home birth experiences. I find comfort in learning from other people's experiences. I hope some ladies here will be able to give you some concrete ideas on how to prepare... I just want to encourage you to continue to explore your options before you "give up."

[ecomama123]

I agree with the previous poster, hospitals are Not safer for low risk women.
You're more likely to hemmorhage in the hospital than you are at home.

Homebirth midwives carry items to deal with pph and other potential emergencies. They'll have blood clotting herbs and/or a shot of pitocin or methergine to stop bleeding. They carry o2 and deep suctioning equipment. And they know when the need to transfer outweighs the desire not to.

It's not for everyone but do some research comparing hospital results with homebirth results and it will show No more deaths in the ooh birth and Far less birth injuries.

Amalie

[LoveChild421]

I'm not sure how much you have read about homebirth and homebirth midwives but they actually have better outcomes for mother and baby than hospitals do. This is mainly because they let nature take its course and don't use drugs to make labor faster (more convenient for the doctors), they don't confine you to a bed and make you push laying flat on your back, etc. Most of the complications you hear about where "thank god I was in the hospital, I woulda died" really wouldn't have occured at home at all.

I am the perfect example of this being true- my labor was stalling and my cervix just wouldn't dilate all the way- had I been in the hospital they would have given me pitocin to "speed things up"- well after I had given birth and the placenta was examined the midwives noticed that my placenta had an abnormality- an artery growing through it that could have ruptured had I been given pitocin and started having too strong contractions. But my body was stalling out for a reason- when the contractions got too strong they would stop coming for a while- my body knew how to protect itself- I hate to think what would have happened had I been in the hospital.

But really, I think the key to birth is that you feel comfortable- if you feel more comfortable at the hospital or birth center go for that- but just know that really you are safer at home with a low-risk, healthy pregnancy. Midwives (at least mine) carry oxygen for the baby and pitocin injections in case you do start to bleed to much. They are capable of handling most complications at home and you are only 20 minutes away from a hospital if anything extreme does arise.

I hope you find all the info you need here- the mamas in this forum helped me so much when I was trying to decide on a home birth!

[applejuice]

Please be honest with yourself.

When you are in labor, you need to be in a place, physically, emotionally, where you truly feel safe.

Do your research, and think long and hard about it.

For some that is the hospital, for others that is the home, for still others that is something inbetween...

Be honest with your feelings and go where you feel safe, not where someone else thinks you should be.

[ktmama]

I recommend watching a couple videos, specifically "Gentle Birth Choices" and "Spiritual Midwifery". I checked them out from the library (but I live in a metro area), but I know that local midwives here lend them out too.

There are several factors that I know really matter. After all, I was raised by a doctor and a nurse, but believe strongly in homebirth. Why? I know the data supports that homebirth is safe, that I have medical intervention if I need it, and that for me "comfort" and "safety" don't mean machines and medical equipment, they mean my husband, my daughter, my bathtub, food, warmth, my clothes, music, my sister and my midwife.

Talking to midwives helps TREMENDOUSLY! Just ask questions and get information you need. Sometimes just meeting another woman who births babies is comforting. It really has been for me.

The other thing that really matters to me is realizing the centuries of women who have "successfully" birthed babies throughout history with little or no help or the assistance of midwives. This provides me with great confidence - not necessarily in myself - but in my body.

[camprunner]

My midwife's confidence helps me. I know her history, not just from her but from reading on the Internet and asking around. I asked her about what would happen if we had to transfer. I asked her how she would know we would have to transfer. I also checked out our 911 service (they deal with stuff plenty of times with women who had their babies in the hospital and hemorage later).

Also I've talked to people who had emergencies in the hospital. One girl hemoraged and the nurses sat there and watched for two hours before deciding there was a problem. A few days or a week after she got out of the hospital she went to her OB and they decided that she needed a transfusion. That's her reason for not considering homebirth but look how much time she had? Another lady had a c-section and hemmoraged after she got home. EMS almost lost her twice on the way to the hospital but she was already home when it happened!

Most of the time the midwife it seems can detect an emergency. Read some birth stories and it will make you feel better if you really want one.

You can read some great ones (and I think one even has a semi emergency situation) at http://www.nchomebirth.com .

[gonnabeamom]

If you haven't already, get a copy of Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, and dive in. It's the most reasurring thing you can read, explain not only how safe homebirth is but why it's safe, why your body will respond to how you feel about your environment, and the continuous care you recieve from your midwives will help avoid problems.

Confession: Despite the fact that I liked the idea of a homebirth right away, I'd say one of the chief reasons I'm moving ahead with one is that I'm too chicken for a hospital birth. The more research I did the more afraid I became of unneccessary interventions, bad drugs, unnecessary c-section.

Wanting to be reassured how emergencies will be handled isn't chicken, it's very sane. It's part of a responsible homebirth to ask these kinds of questions, and get the answers. In the end if you don't feel better after you get these answers, then I think you should to make peace with yourself and have your baby in a hospital, for the same reasons I should have mine at home.

[sbgquilt]

Just had first baby at home 4 weeks ago. What I did was go through all my fears with my midwives so that I had facts to go with them. Also, I picked midwives that were not afraid to transfer to a hospital and did so at earliest signs of something going wrong. Most things have warning signs in advance that they can detect and they it's not a problem to be 20 min from hospital. Also, my midwives had emergency medical supplies related to each thing I was afraid of. I was fearful in the beginnign of the pregnancy, but by the third trimester I could almost not even remember what I had been afraid of because I had so much confidence in my midwives.

[Messac888]

I was too chicken to have a homebirth too, but I was even more chicken about going through another hospital experience. I called a few midwives, interviewed them, asking each of them detailed questions to get a feel for how they'd treat me if something arose- and even if everything was fine. We finally settled on a great one named Deb. She was terrific for the whole thing- and when the time came, I'd spent so much time facing my fears that, amazingly and wonderfully, they were gone!

I mean, there was one moment that I freaked out, but it was moreso cuz I was in the water and felt faint, and was afraid I was gonna pass out and drown, which didn't happen, but... Anyway, it was better than I'd ever imagined. Look up "Talia Jordyn's homebirth" if you want to read my homebirth experience, it's under "birth stories."

[WinterBaby]

Originally Posted by sunnylady303

....but I really want one.

If you really want it... then I'd pursue it. I'd go and find a midwife to begin exploring those fears. (You can always change care providers later.) With fears, I find it especially helps me if I voice them. Ask all the "what ifs." And then find the answers to my what ifs, either through asking or researching. What would happen if I were at a hospital, what would happen if I were at home. (Although I had much more fear over becoming a mother than of birthing - and I think being at home really helped that transition for me, LOL.)

[Yemaya1]

I am too chicken for a hospital birth. Violent births dont appeal to me, episiotomies, C-Sections, laboring on back, infection, inductions. I'll stick to my own bed. I didnt have fears to deal with. My biggest fear was going into labor at work and someone trying to take me to a hospital. It may sound crazy, but birth is nothing to fear when done in the comfort of your home.

[kavamamakava]

I've had 3 homebirths and I ended up at the hospital after the first two. Well, I went to the hospital after my first and my baby went to the hospital after her gentle home water birth. I finally got to stay put after my third (but ended up needing to see a doc a few weeks after the birth).
Anyway, I tell you all this because I just wanted to let you know that complications do arise sometimes. And they are easily responded to and addressed by a skilled midwife.
My son's elbow shot out and tore me when he was born. In attempting to stitch the tear, my midwife realized it needed hospital attention. She prepared me and called the hospital and had me transported via ambulance solely because I was in a 3rd floor walk up apartment and there was no way to get me downstairs without assistance. I got fixed up at the hospital and went home in the morning. Dimitrius brought our baby to us and we all spent the night in the hospital.

We lived 45 minutes away from the nearest hospital when Nadia was born. She was having trouble breathing. The midwife kept oxygen near her face and we drove her, calmly, to the hospital. They didn't have a NICU and we were on an island so she had to be care flighted to Honolulu. It wasn't scary. It was part of the proper response to her medical need. And she was born safely at home

Amelie was my biggest baby. She was really hard to push out. My midwife examined me after she was out and declared my perineum intact. She said it did look a bit stretched. About a week later, it just sort of fell apart. It separated at the old scar. So I had to see an OB/GYN and have it repaired. But I still had my baby in the comfort of my home.

Interview a homebirth midwife. Ask her about complications she had dealt with. Tell her about your fears. You'll be pleasantly surprised.

[cottonwood]

Sunnylady (what a great name btw!) I would go at it like this: ask yourself why hemorrhage would occur in the first place? What sorts of things could cause it? What kind of an emergency would it constitute (how fast, dangerous) and what things could a midwife (or yourself) do to minimize the risk and stabilize your condition if it happened?

[mwherbs]

Originally Posted by fourlittlebirds

Sunnylady (what a great name btw!) I would go at it like this: ask yourself why hemorrhage would occur in the first place? What sorts of things could cause it? What kind of an emergency would it constitute (how fast, dangerous) and what things could a midwife (or yourself) do to minimize the risk and stabilize your condition if it happened?

Key points-- what can you do to prevent or avoid hemorrhage as a complication- things you can control like the foods you eat- eating greens cooked or raw help to make clotting factors - vitamin K and B vitamins and folate as well as minerals. Foods with vitamin C as well-- like berries.

the other thing to think about is that you always live that far from emergency medical care so are at the same or higher risk daily- of slipping in the bathroom or any other accident that could happen. Probably more likely to have other kind of accident than a low risk woman has of hemmorhage at home.

[mad-old-hag]

Originally Posted by mwherbs

Key points-- what can you do to prevent or avoid hemorrhage as a complication- things you can control like the foods you eat-

...or where you give birth! All the evidence is that birthing at home reduces your chances of hemorrhaging to begin with :-)

Originally Posted by mwherbs

the other thing to think about is that you always live that far from emergency medical care so are at the same or higher risk daily- of slipping in the bathroom or any other accident that could happen. Probably more likely to have other kind of accident than a low risk woman has of hemmorhage at home.

It is very rare for a birth to "go bad" suddenly - the majority of transfers from homebirth to hospital are for things like failure to progress, and there is no urgency involved. Most of the "emergency c/s" you hear about are *not* emergencies - they are *unplanned*, which is completely different. The whole everything-fine-one-minute-all-wrong-the-next scenario, so beloved of tv writers, is incredibly rare. Even in a case where there is some urgency to having a c/s, it doesn't happen immediately even if you're in hospital - the appropriate staff have to be assembled, the OR prepared, you have to be moved and anesthetized etc. It rarely takes less time than it would take for you to transfer from home.

Remember too that unless you decide to have labour induced, you are going to be at home for at least part of your labour anyway. If you choose a homebirth, you may choose to transfer to hospital at any time during labour. If you choose a hospital birth, you are going to *have to* transfer to hospital.

As others have said, I'm far too chicken to go to hospital. The policies and procedures of hospitals are far more likely to *cause* problems than to solve them, and who wants to take the risk of all those nasty hospital-acquired infections! For the vast majority of women and babies, home is a far safer place to be.

There is a fantastic site about homebirth at www.homebirth.org.uk - although it's a UK site, it reviews studies from all over the world and answers questions which are relevant to families living everywhere.

(Mother of 4, first baby born in hospital - good experience, next three born at home - totally different, would never birth in hospital again, fifth baby due in next few weeks - home waterbirth planned)

[Pandora114]

A KEY way to prevent hemmorage is NO CORD TRACTION to remove the placenta shortly after birth.

Normal detachment and delivery of the placenta results in all blood vessels being nicely sealed. Yanking on the cord and hastening this process will only result in a bunch of grief, because open blood vessels, well they bleed.

Common sense right?

Of course when it comes to common sense, too many Obstetricians are short changed.

[~Megan~]

First of all I have to say I'm too chicken to not have a homebirth.

Birth is inherently a safe process. But when you start medicalizing it and messing with the process it becomes less and less safe. Most of the emergencies are caused by messing with the process, something that midwives are less likely to do.
And anything that is likely to become and emergency is felt by intuition and listening to the mother's body.

I hope you can come to peace with your birth because no matter where you give birth your experience will be a lot better if you are not fearful of the process and constantly considering "what ifs"

[nancy926]

I'm having a homebirth with my second. We went to a freestanding birth center for #1 and really, it was like being at someone else's house. Someone who had a lot of birth-related equipment (oxygen, etc), but a house all the same. So this time we're staying home and having the equipment brought to us.

I agree with the PPs who said they are too chicken NOT to give birth at home. For me it's not so much the birth - I have heard great things about being left alone at the birth center we were planning on going to (which is hospital-affiliated), but what will happen afterward. I just want to be with my family and relax. I don't want to deal w/all their procedures, and staying overnight (which they claim you don't have to do, but who knows what will happen once you're there), and all of that. And I don't really want to spend 25 minutes in a car while I'm in labor unless I HAVE to.

Anyway...here is an old study but a good one, and it has some impressive results, IMHO.....and remember that the C-section rate has gone way up since the study was done. It's even more impressive if you consider that the homebirthers who wound up being transferred to the hospital were still counted in the homebirth group (even though they didn't give birth there):

Presented on October 20, 1976 before the 104th annual meeting of the American Public Health Association:

So far, the largest and most complete study on the comparison of hospital birth outcomes to that of homebirth outcomes was done by Dr. Lewis Mehl and associates in 1976. In the study, 1046 homebirths were compared with 1046 hospital births of equivalent populations in the United States. For each home-birth patient, a hospital-birth patient was matched for age, length of gestation, parity (number of pregnancies), risk factor score, education and socio-economic status, race, presentation of the baby and individual major risk factors. The homebirth population also had trained attendants and prenatal care.

The results of this study showed a three times greater likelihood of cesarean operation if a woman gave birth in a hospital instead of at home with the hospital standing by. The hospital population revealed twenty times more use of forceps, twice as much use of oxytocin to accelerate or induce labor, greater incidence of episiotomy (while at the same time having more severe tears in need of major repair). The hospital group showed six times more infant distress in labor, five times more cases of maternal high blood pressure, and three times greater incidence of postpartum hemorrhage. There was four times more infection among the newborn; three times more babies needed help to begin breathing. While the hospital group had thirty cases of birth injuries, including skull fractures, facial nerve palsies, brachial nerve injuries and severe cephalohematomas, there were no such injuries at home.

The infant death rate of the study was low in both cases and essentially the same. There were no maternal deaths for either home or hospital. The main differences were in the significant improvement of the mother's and baby's health if the couple planned a homebirth, and this was true despite the fact that the homebirth statistics of the study included those who began labor at home but ultimately needed to be transferred to the hospital.

("Home Birth Versus Hospital Birth: Comparisons of Outcomes of Matched Populations," Dr. Lewis Mehl. Presented on October 20, 1976 before the 104th annual meeting of the American Public Health Association. For further information contact the Institute for Childbirth and Family Research, 2522 Dana St., Suite 201, Berkeley, CA 94704)