SAHM's - How is your stress level?

[UrbanPlanter]

I noticed a thread like this for working mamas...

I was wondering how stressed the SAHM's are.

I, for one, am always stressed. I don't know why, I just am.
Maybe stress is a part of me.

But I stress about how I can't get anything done; how I can't get motivated; how I am depressed that I am not contributing financially to the family; how I feel isolated sometimes when all this other stress is occuring; how I get really burned out always being "the one" for my ds....

SAHMing can be stressful, right? Or is it just me?

[cks321]

I can so sympathize with you there. I am always stressed it seems with 2 kids now. With all that you said and then some. Ugh. But SAHM has it's rewards too. I love the "just becuase" kisses and hugs I get from my daughter and the pictures she makes me. And when I teach her something new and she really gets it. But the tantrums, and screaming, defiance, not feeling like I'm doing enough when i go go go all day long. I feel like when I'm spending time with the baby nursing or what have you I'm neglecting my oldest, and when I'm playing games or other stuff that requires me to be free handed and able to run around, I feel like I'm neglecting the baby. There's no middle ground sometimes. OOPS gotta go nurse.

[j924]

Another I can realte post here. I don't feel stressed out all the time, but when I do I often feel guilty because I feel like others feel I should be stress free because I don't WOH. I'm sure a lot of it is in my head, but I guess that's where stress usually hangs out right Do you try to relieve some stress with life changes? If so how has it worked?

[AngelBee]

I am stressed out 24/7. I am actually concerned about the effect my stress is having on my health. I need to learn how to chill out a bit!

[oldermamato5]

I do have stress everyday,but it sure beats being out in the workforce all day then coming home to stress some more. : I don't ever feel guilty about not contributing $$,my contribution goes far beyond a dollar value. I'm grateful my dh feels the same. Naps and walks with the children help reduce stress for me. And sometimes I will go out in the evening after dinner by myself to the bookstore and thrift store. That REALLY helps stress!

[Leilalu]

Mine depends on two naps a day!:LOL
If I get them to take 2 at the same time, life is bliss.I really just rave "me time" ya know? Maybe it's just the silence....I try to do pilates and runregularly I find that helps too. If my muscles are sore or unstretched it really affects my mood.

[AngelBee]

Originally Posted by Leilalu

Mine depends on two naps a day!:LOL
If I get them to take 2 at the same time, life is bliss.I really just rave "me time" ya know? Maybe it's just the silence....I try to do pilates and runregularly I find that helps too. If my muscles are sore or unstretched it really affects my mood.

My older two won't nap anymore.....and the baby's are totally random.

[UrbanPlanter]

I thrive on the naps as well - naptime is SACRED :LOL
But, I spend much of it here browsing MDC etc.
Then I feel guilty bc I should either be
a) napping as well
b) reading a good book or the newspaper
c) cleaning

(see my priorities? :LOL)

[MomBirthmomStepmom]

I'm one big stress-ball :P :LOL

It's all just stress for me, from the moment I wake up, until my insomnia filled nights of laying in bed awake, wishing I could sleep, knowing the alarm will wake everyone up soon enough, and the day will start all over again. *sighs*

[FireWithin]

This is interesting to me.
I was just talking to DH about stress.
He just started taking two classes a week which will means he won't get home until 10:30 those nights, and then lots of reading and studying when he is home, on top of his normal 9-5 job. We are doing this for the rest fo the summer and probably will continue into the fall.

I have been feeling really stressed about this. I worry about how I can handle my part of this.

I told DH that I don't feel like I have been able to push myself into doing challenging things as I did when I taught classes or was a student at the university. Where did this ability to strive ahead and just do it go?

DH replied that it was because I "strive ahead and just do it" 24 hours a day now.

Yes college and teaching was stressful, very stressful at times, but it wasn't 24 hours a day.
I am on call as a mother constantly and I think this kind of stress can be very wearing.

I am happy that I realized that. It is allowing me to be more forgiving of myself and allow myself to push ahead. This summer and fall will be a real test for me.

[UrbanPlanter]

Originally Posted by Mammo2Sammo

I am on call as a mother constantly and I think this kind of stress can be very wearing.

BINGO!

[AngelBee]

Originally Posted by Mammo2Sammo

I am on call as a mother constantly and I think this kind of stress can be very wearing.

This is my problem right now. I get NO break. Not even a shower.....one of them is always in there with me. And dh is not being supportive about it either.

[UrbanPlanter]

wow! Angelbee - you do have your hands full with 5yo, 3yo, 1 1/2yo & 5mo!!!

[musingmama]

yes, naps are definitely sacred to me, too!!
Just to sit and not have to anything is so nice for a few minutes...
yeah I feel stress too, mostly about money b/c our finances just keep getting worse and worse and I dont know how we are going to pay off our debt
but then I consider getting a job during the weekends, but that doesnt seem to be much help and dh and I both decided it would just cause more stress (a coworkerand hium had a lovely conversation lately---- coworker "your wife doesn't work does she?" dh "yes, she works" coworker "oh whats she doing " dh "shes a MOM!" ---- coworkers wife WOTH on weekends)
mainly my stress is from money, but also I get very stressed and burnt out since I do not have much support and never get a break or time to myself , and also b/c of lack of inspiration for art work that used to flow so easily before kids
gotta run

[Mothra]

My stress level is pretty low right now. A month ago it was through the roof. My husband is home every day by about 4:00 and he pretty much takes over when he gets home. I run errands or watch tv so I do get some time to decompress. We don't have any major worries right now. We're more broke than usual, but not going hungry or anything.

I think my stress level stays low in part because we spend the weekends doing fun stuff. We go to the beach, the pool, taking long drives-- we don't try to fit in all the housework or other boring errands that we didn't have time for during the week. Also, my kids are all sleeping through the night and have been for a while. My 3yo gets up to get in bed with us, but that only takes a minute to figure out. I'm getting as much sleep as I need and that makes a world of difference in my stress level. I can cope much, much better when I'm well rested.

[musingmama]

Originally Posted by UrbanPlanter

wow! Angelbee - you do have your hands full with 5yo, 3yo, 1 1/2yo & 5mo!!!

ohhh how do you do it? angelbee! wow!

[musingmama]

Originally Posted by Mammo2Sammo

I told DH that I don't feel like I have been able to push myself into doing challenging things as I did when I taught classes or was a student at the university. Where did this ability to strive ahead and just do it go?

DH replied that it was because I "strive ahead and just do it" 24 hours a day now.

Yes college and teaching was stressful, very stressful at times, but it wasn't 24 hours a day.
I am on call as a mother constantly and I think this kind of stress can be very wearing.

This is exactly what i have been dealing with lately too... and I came to the same consclusion- we are never "off the clock" (my ds is still nightnursing alot too...) and it jsut generally fries us...
for me, as an artist, I have been stressed at how when I do get to steal a little time here and there to do art, I am usually blocked and it gets frustrated and then I get down on myself, but after talking with a friend he pointed out how being a parent and a SAHM takes the ultimate creativity - to keep them entertained, to keep them challenged, to keep them sane during errands, etc etc etc...
and that helped me understand it a little bit and not be so hard on myself.
I've found being outside helps a lot (and now finally in the NW I can feel the sun!!! ), going to a lake or beach, going for a walk, gardening with ds....

[BeanerBabies]

I do have my stressed out days, but it generally depends on my sleep. If I am having a tough time sleeping, I get more stressed. If I get enough sleep, I'm usually good to go.

Right now, I am going through a bout of insomnia where I'm up anywhere from 3-5 hours during the night, and it's starting to wear on my, but my best friend has Bean over for a sleep-over so I'm hoping to hit the sack early and catch up on some zzzz's.

[mamawanabe]

I notice looking back that no matter where I am in my life, I am pretty stressed out. I kick myself now, thinking - BUT I HAD NOTHING TO STRESS ABOUT THEN, NOW I DO. But, you know, it is just my stress level is high and if I don't have REAL things (like teh dissertation) to stress about, I'll stress about small things (like an akward converstaion with a professor).

[Eman'smom]

I am actually more stressed now than I was when I was working full time with 2 small children.

The fact that I am NEVER away from them has really distroyed my ablity to cope with life, I know that sounds bad but it's true. When I was working I got a break from work to enjoy the kids, then I got a break from kids and enjoyed my work. Now I can't pee alone, shower alone, water the plants alone, I've even hit them with the fridge door (not on purpose of course) but just opened or closed it and they have been so close, and I didn't see them..... It doesn't help that dh is traveling nearly non-stop so I am really doing everything alone.

Now I truely believe that we are all better off now that I'm home (I know it's hard to tell but I really do feel that way) but I find this toddler age very challenging and difficult for me, I feel that I could parent babies well and look forward to them growing up a bit it's just this time that I find very hard. I was a middle school teacher (with one year of high school), and I really enjoyed those kids. I know most people run from that age bracket but I really liked those years.