addicted to pregnancy/birth?

[artgirl]

Okay, I'm not really sure how to phrase this so that it doesn't sound awful but does anyone else out there just really enjoy the whole pregnancy/birth process? I'm afraid that I'm hooked on getting pregnant and giving birth but that I'm not a good enough mom after the fact. Don't get me wrong... please! I LOVE my two kids. LOVE THEM. But there are days that I think "boy, I wish I could go and sit at the coffee shop for hours alone, without worrying about any little people." And then in the next thought I'll be thinking "hmmm, I sure would like to have another baby."
What's that kind of crazy logic all about?
Do I just like all the hype that surrounds pregnancy and childbirth? The high and the rush and the miracle of it all but then I fall flat with the mundane day-to-day care of kids? I hope not, that sounds really pathetic.
My kids make me laugh and bring me so much joy EVERY DAY. But there are moments when I wish I were free of the restraints. I love the chaos of the kids, the playfulness and the impromptu hugs but sometimes I yearn to do my own creative thing. Both desires are strong. I can't give up the longing for just one more baby but I know it will put my stuff on hold for just that much longer. How do you mamas reconcile this? Its like I've never been happier and more frustrated at the same time.

[L.J.]

I LOVE being pregnant and had great home birth experiences, but I am clearly finished with babies.
I have joked with my friends that I could be a surrogate mom though, so I could enjoy all that stuff again without having a newborn to care for.

I do know someone who is quite often depressed and feels much better, happier and healthier during pregnancy. They already have 4 children and don't have time for any of them really and money is so tight. They both work all the time, the kids don't get much time or attention from anyone, it's quite sad.

I think it's difficult to separate the feelings and excitement about birth and knowing if you have the time & energy for more.

[annakiss]

Moved to Birth and Beyond...

[Pam_and_Abigail]

Hey, I could have written this! I think I *am* addicted to giving birth! I think there's probably some kind of chemical or spiritual (or both) reaction that goes on to make us feel this way - it helps assure the continuation of our species! Same as how a lot of us mysteriously forgot just how painful it was (if it was paniful, that is).

And hey, I'll meet you for that hours-long rendez-vous in the coffess shop, how about a weekend long seminar exploring our creative sides?

Sorry I don't have any real advice. I've just come to terms with the fact that I feel two very different ways about it (I think that's called ambivalence?)

[CarrieMF]

In a way I am. I would love to give birth again, not so much the actual pregnancy.lol I do not want another baby though. I would like more kids but I want them to arrive here older and potty trained.

I have considered surrogacy to fill the need to give birth but also not have a baby.

[AngelBee]

I know exactly what you mean... :

[monkaha]

I know exactly what you mean too! I have health issues that are such that I feel WONDERFUL during pregnancy, and crappy and in pain the rest of the time. (though they may be getting close to figuring out why and how to fix it : )

If a close friend or family member were to ask me about surrogacy, I think I'd do it in an heartbeat.

[monkaha]

But it isn't just the health stuff. (I realize after I hit post). I love the whole thing. The kicking, moving babe inside you, the glow, the excitement, knowing you carry a whole person, the miracle of birth (even after 2 less than perfect births, I still think it's wonderful!)

sigh..... man, good thing I got an IUD-thinking this much about it makes me wanna toss out the ole birth control pills. LOL

[spsmom]

you are not alone! i would so be a surogate. i actually offered up my womb to a friend right before we got prego. but she ended up getting prego as well after years of fertility treatment.

i really do love being prego. and giving birth was such a surreal experience! it just felt so good (ok, it did hurt a little) but it's hard to explain! this is our last as well. so i would definitely be a surrogate after, and not at all for the money. i don't think i could charge someone to do it. i think it is one of the greatest gifts one woman can share with another.

[cappuccinosmom]

I love pregnancy and birth.





And Lord willing, I'm not "done" yet, 'cause I love babies too.

I love the thrill of finding out, and the pure awesomeness of realizing what's going on in there. I love feeling the baby move, and interacting with it. I love trying to guess it's personality. I love getting a big round belly and having people notice! I love the anticipation in the last weeks (unless I go post dates and then I hate the worry the medical folks try to put on me!), preparing.

And I think birth is absolutely the most awesome, wonderful, amazing thing I've done or will do in my life! There's no describing it.



I'm also addicted to the pregnancy and birth forums here. :LOL

[Mamabeakley]

I almost could have written the OP . . .

I think for me, though, that it's not just "I love pregnancy/birth" vs. "being with a baby is hard work."

The mission, the purpose of being pregnant is very clear. The goal and the reason you are doing it is to give birth and have a baby. The mission and purpose and goal and reason that you are spending your life energy on caring for an infant, toddler, and I imagine, child (haven't gotten there yet) is much more complex and the decisions are more difficult and for me, when it is difficult, it is easy to want to retreat to the simplicity of bearing and birthing.

I think the spiritual challenge of being a parent is doing the perpetual dance of meeting all the child's needs while letting go as s/he grows. It's hard! When your baby is in utero, there is no question - you are meeting ALL of his/her needs and then you give birth and that is the letting go. Once that baby is out, the lines are not so clear and you have to make concious decisions about it. Or try. I certainly don't always succeed in noticing it's time to decide in enough time to be concious about it.

This is a big subject for me and I'm still struggling with it. For right now, whenever I start fantasizing/obsessing about my next baby (and I am indeed sure I do want another, for good reasons as well), I try to remember to look at my son and say to myself, "One baby is enough for me for today - and he's wonderful" (which he is)

[Guest*]

I've got the same feelings too. Not so much about pregnancy, I HATED being pregnant. I couldn't stand the sickness, awkwardness, mental and physical stress, but I LOVED giving birth. My homebirth (accidentally unassisted) was the most amazing experience of my life and I was high on it for months.

That's the part I want to do again and again. Of course, I don't want to actually raise babies again and again. That's the really hard part. I also have moments when I wish I didn't have the responsibility of being a mother, but they are just that, thoughts. Do I really want my child gone. HECK NO! Not a day goes by that I am not completely amazed by her and love her even more than the day before.

Was that coherent? I just got up and my brain hasn't kicked in yet.

[mmaramba]

:

This is funny for me, since I haven't done either...

I'm actually not sure I even want kids (pretty sure, but not 100%)!

PG doesn't sound that appealing to me.

But I wouldn't mind giving birth! I'm a freak!

:LOL

Actually, to Mommas who want a similar (if not the same, of course) feeling of accomplishment and out-of-body experience, with all the euphoria hormones, I suggest....


....running a marathon!

I can't compare the two, but that's the closest thing I can imagine, since I've run (and walked!) marathons but haven't given birth.

If you want to a somewhat similar experience, but aren't necessarily ready for another baby/child, go for it!

It might sound crazy, but I'm sure you ladies are used to hearing how you are!

[artgirl]

The marathon analogy isn't so far off the mark. I've done a triathalon and I'm positive it helped with with labor. The endurance needed, the pain tolerance, the strength and the determination... all play a part. I can't say that the emotional, spiritualness compares but the physical-ness is similar. Birth is a miracle and, well, completing a triathalon was a challenge but no miracle.
Birth expands your capacity for giving yourself and the love is intense. Nothing can come close in my mind to that part of the package.
You willingly look fear right in the face and tell it to go away for the benefit of a precious, small, helpless human being that is counting on you.
I get teary just thinking about giving birth to my little ones. :

Sometimes I think of being a surrogate but then I'm not sure I'd be able to go through all of that for someone else?? I don't think I'd be able to turn over any baby that came from my body. I don't know...

[homebirthing]

OP: I could have written that word for word, I kid you not.

[Guest*]

[QUOTE=mmaramba]
Actually, to Mommas who want a similar (if not the same, of course) feeling of accomplishment and out-of-body experience, with all the euphoria hormones, I suggest....


....running a marathon!

[QUOTE]

Actually, many women have compared giving birth to running a marathon. I've never run one myself (but want to one day!), but I have given birth. I can see the similarities. You have a goal (to finish), and nothing will stop you from accomplishing it. Sounds simple, but once you're getting into it, you have to pull from parts of yourself that you don't visit regularly or never even knew existed. By the time you're close to the end, there's really nothing mental or physical you can do to help yourself, so you just endure it and keep going.

I think the only difference is that you can drop out of a marathon but the baby MUST be born, no matter what. Even if that means having someone else deliver the baby for you.

I can imagine finishing a marathon would ALMOST give you the same high and feelings of accomplishment and pride that giving birth to a baby do. Almost.

[tabitha]

i also could have written the OP.

sometimes in the same half-hour stretch i will think, 'wow this is too hard for me, what was i thinking?' and 'i must give birth again and sooooon!'.

i love pregnancy, birth, all of it. you know, i even love having a newborn. what i thnk is that it takes me about 3 months after each phase to fall in love with it again. (or forget what it is really like...)

i believe, God willing, i will have at least 2 more babes. i just hope that when i am done i feel done. i cant imagine wanting more and having to not have more. that would crush my heart.

[mandib50]

i believe, God willing, i will have at least 2 more babes. i just hope that when i am done i feel done. i cant imagine wanting more and having to not have more. that would crush my heart.[/QUOTE]

i love all of it, even the raising the kids part! i have 4 and i definitely do not feel done, however, my husband had a vasectomy so we are done it breaks my heart and it's pretty tough to imagine not having any more babies especially now that my little one is already 2 1/2!!
mandi

[Mama~Love]

I guess you could say I am . I LOVE being PG and giving birth. I LOVE caring for them afterwards too. We want at LEAST 1 more, since 5 is such an odd number. I'd have a dozen, but I don't think I could really raise that many properly.

I don't know how I will react to that "all done" feeling tabitha was talking about. I can't imagine being done with having kids. I don't want that part of my life to end just yet : .

[hottmama]

I'm a pregnancy and birth addict. I LOVE being pregnant and giving birth, I could do it all the time if the thought of dozens of little babies didn't make me run screaming. I really, really like kids. Julian gets more interesting every day. When I'm around babies and young toddlers, I am bored to tears. It's better with my own, but I still prefer 3+ year olds. So I give birth, say "awww", then wait a few years for the kid to get to a fun age. I want to have at least 1 more, preferably 2.