Tension at the doctor's office

[UnschoolnMa]

Just a little rant lol. Ds is hypothyroid and has to have periodic check-ups to make sure he, and his medication are doing well. This was his first appointment since we got back to our old town, and he saw a doctor that we'd seen a few years back.

He comes in and welcomes us back to town. Then he asks Ds how he's been feeling. Ds says "fine". Doc asks what he's been up to lately and how school is going. Ds says that he is a homeschooler and Doc says "Yea I know, but how are your lessons going?" Ds looks at me and I say "We don't really have lessons, but he's doing well." He asks Ds what the last book he read was and when. Ds says it was in Feb before we moved, and he cannot really recall the title but it was a short sci-fi type book. The doctor asks what he enjoys doing and Ds says "Playing my Play Station 2, and figuring out new games." Doc says "But Play Station isn't school right?" Ds looks at me and is clearly confused.

I said something about how everything is "school" for us because we find value and learning in all that we do, even PS2. He looked at me and talked about monitoring "screen time" to which I replied that we all monitor our own screen time, even the kids. It was tense and wierd. Ds felt interrogated. : We were there for a freakin blood test, KWIM? Sigh. On an unrelated note he asked how much soda and juice Ds drinks (the answer to that is "However much he wants to.") It was really wierd. Anyway, I hope next time doesn't feel as strange. Thanks for letting me vent a bit.

[Kylix]

I think in order to avoid such a situation next time, I would respond with "I'm not sure what this has to do with ds' thyroid/blood test. We are here to talk about that and not PS2/sodas/school" if the doctor started in on the 20 questions again. Really, it is none of his business and not in the scope of his expertise.

Kylix

[Wilhemina]

and a sympathetic : at the doc.

I sure get ticked when my ped. asks probing questions that have to do more with lifestyle than specific health issues. And I REALLY get ticked when she advises me about topics I am certain I have as much or more "expertise" in. I could go on, but I'll stop the rant.

[cosmos]

Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa

On an unrelated note he asked how much soda and juice Ds drinks (the answer to that is "However much he wants to.") It was really wierd.

Having a thyroid condition might cause a person to consume too many carbohydrates and then lead to other health issues. It sounds like the doc was doing a thorough job in that regard.

But I always hate those one-hour-a-year appointments where they try to "catch up" with you-as if! Sorry it was awkward for you.

[SagMom]

That sucks that you got questioned like that.

Home Education magazine spoke about this in a recent issue:

http://www.homeedmag.com/nc/2004/120304.html

American Academy of Pediatrics News, Vol. 25 No. 4 Deborah Johnson, p. 178, October 2004
http://aapnews.aappublications.org

"Homeschooling "puts onus on pediatricians" to watch their homeschooled patients more closely than others? Since when are pediatricians expected to do so much more than practice medicine? This writer casts a shadow of doubt on homeschooling and manipulates examples to make her points. The article even suggests that homeschooling families have special needs that a pediatrician should care for. Get a load of the article's suggested "Tips"

(Go to the homeedmag link, the "tips" are about halfway down the page.)

It really burns me that docs are being told that checking up on homeschooling is their responsibility. Talk about crossing a line!

[Breathless Wonder]

.

[maya44]

Not sure I understand your problem with the juice/soda question. This question is directly related to health issues including thyroid.


If an adult came into a dr's office and had a thyroid problem and the doctor asked how much juice/soda they drank (if they were as big culprits in this demographic as they are in kids), and the patient said "as much as I want" the doc would have every right to think that was BIZZARE!

[luv my 2 sweeties]

If you want to do some educating, you might consider sending the doc an article or something about unschooling. Otherwise I fear it will come up again with him. I first heard about unschooling from reading an article by a parent who explained it pretty much like you did to the doctor. I was *shocked* and angry on behalf of the kids. It struck me as highly negligent behavior on the part of the parents. Of course, now that I know more about unschooling, I no longer see it that way. (I lean more toward the unschooling end of the spectrum myself these days! ) I now understand that unschooled kids learn a lot, and being free from school creates a different paradigm when it comes to learning. But if I were that doctor, before I understood unschooling, I'd be concerned that you were neglecting your son's need for mental stimulation. A doctor might construe that as a legitimate area of concern for him, since it would relate to your son's overall well being. I'm not taking his side against you, but I see where he might be very alarmed if he doesn't have any additional information about unschooling.

[paquerette]

Originally Posted by cosmos

Having a thyroid condition might cause a person to consume too many carbohydrates and then lead to other health issues.

That's a new one on me, after 4 years of being hypothyroid. When my thyroid's low, I actually have less appetite. I do agree that it's relevant to ask about diet at any doctor visit. It's the cornerstone of good health, after all.

Now, having insulin resistance will cause a person to consume too many carbs and start a vicious cycle. Maybe that's what you're thinking of. A lot of people have both problems, but I think both strike adult women more often than any other group.

[oldcrunchymom]

Originally Posted by Joan

(Go to the homeedmag link, the "tips" are about halfway down the page.)

Some of those are really bad!

[laralou]

This is why we go to a doc who minds his own biz. The problem with telling your doc either it is none of his biz or filling him in on the philosophy is that he has the power to report you to CPS or the school board if he thinks you are neglectful. Rather than trying to educate, I would just switch docs.

[Mamame]

Alright, I'm probably going to get reemed for this, but I understand the doctor's questions. When we go in for our checkups, the doctor always asks medical/physical questions as well as questions about school, sports, their social life, their likes and dislikes etc. Good doctors not only 'probe' into their patient's life but also try to find things that may be indicators of issues that may need to come up. Personally, a child that hasn't read a book (or had a book read to them since February) isn't enjoying the benefits of reading and should really be encouraged to read more (now, I understand you just moved but still - we can't get away from books around here ever! LOL!!) and telling the doctor that your son monitors his own time on the PS2 might make him think that you're neglecting any sort of learning time (he's not reading but he has unlimited PS2 time). I agree that educating the doctor on unschooling may help but unschooling is very opposite of what most everyone has been taught and it's unsettling to someone who doesn't understand it. As for the juice/soda issue, that's a legitimate question since kids tend to drink too much of that stuff with empty calories and it may affect something with the thyroid or something related to it (I'm not familiar with thyroid conditions so I can't say). I don't allow my child to drink as much soda/juice as they want - they can each have one glass of juice a day and only a soda or two a week (for the teens). Water is way healthier for them!

I would so prefer my doctor to ask question of me if it means that he/she is doing a thorough job and is able to discern either something that I or another parent are doing that would endanger my child. I'd expect the same of my OWN doctor!

Ann

[Breathless Wonder]

The main issue with soda and hypothyroidism would be caffeination.

I'm assuming he considered soda a "general" health concern.

[UUMom]

if you like you dr., I would give him some literature on unschooling. If you don't like him, I'd forget that, and find someone else.

I think the diet question was appropriate. Most Drs don't often link diet & health, which is crazy. Esp since your child has a thyroid issue, food consumption questions seem right.

I've trained my HCP provider well. She doesn't recommned antibx or is she does, she says " I know it's your last choice, so call me in a couple of days if things don't improve'. She always asks the kids what books they are reading, if they ride their bikes, if they wear seal belts- all areas I think are ok to ask about. She's trying to get a full picture of our health through lifestyle and to better get to know the kids. They have a good rapport with her, which is important to us. Since I do trust her, this feels safe.

If the Dr seems worth educating, try it. If he doesn't, like I said, bag it and find someone esle.

[mama_kass]

Unschooling is a very radical choice for your child's education. It is important that you find a doctor that is educated about this philosophy. Otherwise you risk getting a provider that will deem you neglectful which could cause problems in the future. As others here have said please consider finding a new provider or educating the one that you have.

It is my experience that many of the video games require great amounts of reading. So while ds may not be reading a book he might be reading a lot in video games or on the computer. My responce to the book question would be an explanation of this nature. I woul want to make it clear that my ds was being educated, just not traditionally.

Also, it is part of a doctor's responsibility to educate his/her patients on nutrition. If only doctors would take the time to talk about these important issues we would have less incidence of many dangerous health problems.

[UnschoolnMa]

Originally Posted by maya44

Not sure I understand your problem with the juice/soda question. This question is directly related to health issues including thyroid.

Well yes in a way it is. If he was terribly overweight or constantly thirsty than yes, that would be a health concern. I didn't get that kind of "vibe" from him though. I got the "because we need to make sure you don't have very much of those bad things" vibe.... and doctor or not that isn't any of his business in our case.

If an adult came into a dr's office and had a thyroid problem and the doctor asked how much juice/soda they drank (if they were as big culprits in this demographic as they are in kids), and the patient said "as much as I want" the doc would have every right to think that was BIZZARE!

But adults do in fact drink as much soda or juice as they want generally speaking lol. We gave him a general amount that Ds drinks (an average off the top of our heads kind of thing) before we gave the "however much he wants" answer. To Ds and I, it felt like we were being scolded for drinking soda or juice. That's not OK with me.

[UnschoolnMa]

Originally Posted by luv my 2 sweeties

But if I were that doctor, before I understood unschooling, I'd be concerned that you were neglecting your son's need for mental stimulation. A doctor might construe that as a legitimate area of concern for him, since it would relate to your son's overall well being. I'm not taking his side against you, but I see where he might be very alarmed if he doesn't have any additional information about unschooling.

Yes, this is very likely a possibility here. He nodded when we said things like "For us all things are school really." It seems like he understands homeschooling (as in those who have lessons, assignments etc) but doesn't get much outside of that. Time will tell. At least I will be sort of prepared next time lol.

[UnschoolnMa]

Originally Posted by Mamame

Alright, I'm probably going to get reemed for this, but I understand the doctor's questions. When we go in for our checkups, the doctor always asks medical/physical questions as well as questions about school, sports, their social life, their likes and dislikes etc. Good doctors not only 'probe' into their patient's life but also try to find things that may be indicators of issues that may need to come up.

We'd just prefer there was no probing really lol. We come for medical/physical things almost exclusively. If there was some mental issue we'd address that as well, either with the ped of our own accord or another appropriate professional.

Personally, a child that hasn't read a book (or had a book read to them since February) isn't enjoying the benefits of reading and should really be encouraged to read more (now, I understand you just moved but still - we can't get away from books around here ever! LOL!!) and telling the doctor that your son monitors his own time on the PS2 might make him think that you're neglecting any sort of learning time (he's not reading but he has unlimited PS2 time).

For our family reading is as good as TV or mowing the lawn or gardening or listening to music or... We don't see reading as something that must be done "alot" or more than TV or video games. They read when they want, as do I. My Ds tends to go in phases with reading... a month or two of a big book appetite and then a month or two of preferring PS2 or music. I do agree that some kind of educational neglect is what the doc is probably concerned about. Really though, after my explanations, he should butt out.

As for the juice/soda issue, that's a legitimate question since kids tend to drink too much of that stuff with empty calories and it may affect something with the thyroid or something related to it (I'm not familiar with thyroid conditions so I can't say). I don't allow my child to drink as much soda/juice as they want - they can each have one glass of juice a day and only a soda or two a week (for the teens). Water is way healthier for them!

It was legitimate depending on where he was coming from. It seemed more of a parenting concern on his part than a health one. Our kids are welcome to have soda or juice whenever they want to, and after I said something about that hopefully the doc understands that it's our right to be that way.

I would so prefer my doctor to ask question of me if it means that he/she is doing a thorough job and is able to discern either something that I or another parent are doing that would endanger my child. I'd expect the same of my OWN doctor!

You'd like this guy alot then :LOL

[nicole lisa]

Originally Posted by Mamame

Personally, a child that hasn't read a book (or had a book read to them since February) isn't enjoying the benefits of reading and should really be encouraged to read more (now, I understand you just moved but still - we can't get away from books around here ever! LOL!!) and telling the doctor that your son monitors his own time on the PS2 might make him think that you're neglecting any sort of learning time (he's not reading but he has unlimited PS2 time).

He may not have read a book since Feb, but that doesn't mean he isn't reading. In fact, playing PS2 requires reading. Most games have lengthy intros and you have to read the scores and images etc. that come up on the screen. My DS gets so frustrated with games because he can't play them as he doesn't read.

And my guess is that UnschoolnMa's DS reads the stuff around him: graphitti, cereral boxes, magazines, websites, TV ads, street signs, billboards, CD sleeves/inserts, PS2 game boxes and games pamhlets and on and on. In a literate society we can't get away from reading.

[UnschoolnMa]

Originally Posted by laralou

This is why we go to a doc who minds his own biz. The problem with telling your doc either it is none of his biz or filling him in on the philosophy is that he has the power to report you to CPS or the school board if he thinks you are neglectful. Rather than trying to educate, I would just switch docs.

Yea at our pediatric clinic (which I do love really) you don't have one main doctor, but rather they just give you whichever doctor on staff there (there are 4 or 5 of them I believe) is available when you need to go in. I can ask specifically for one doctor or specifically not to see a certain doctor which may come in handy if this guy continues to be this way.

He can report me to the authorities, but he would find that we are totally and completely legal with those folks on the homeschooling issue. In fact I just talked to the HS contact for my ESD just the other day lol. If I were in another state (some of them are pretty rotten for HS'ing I hear) than I might be more worried. Oregon has alot of room for unschoolers, IMO.