WHew! Finally, I got through the first thread. Lots of good stuff. I wrote a post the other night called I NEED SUPPORT... I've heard about this book for a while and that night, I was so overwhelmed and upset that I looked up the call number late at night and went and got the book.
First off, this guy is HILARIOUS!!!!!! The book is actually entertaining to me. His career totally intrigues me, how he just goes to people's houses and plays with these kids. My question for him is: WHen are you coming to my house????
So I am totally digging the pp. The past 2 days have been incredible and I feel like we have really bonded on a much deeper level, and surprinsingly enough, I'm less tired than usual... and haven't lost my temper at all.
I'm not even half way through the book but have already been implementing stuff.. How can you not! It's exciting to me.
So I really don't know what I'm doing and I'm pretty young... I hope I'm not playing with fire here... tonight, our little play experience was intense and I don't know what to make of it, if I did it right, or what.
I let him lead the way. He (3.5 yo) wanted to be a baby and boy! was he a baby. but then when he started to confront issues, he'd snap out of it and say, "I'm back again, mom, it's me." and he'd switch characters soooo fast I couldn't keep up. I know his being a baby has something to do with him growing up and being a little sad about that, plus he wants me to gaze at him, coo over him etc.. still. I do this, but him playing like this, means to me that you can never get enough. He just needed his cup filled. BUT, then it got a little scary. He put my glasses on the end of my nose and said I was a granny. I acted like a really annoying granny and REALLY OLD.... He balled up and said that that made him sad. And I said WHy? and he said bc it just made him sad. I think this had something to do with me growing older etc... he told me that when I cry, I look like an old lady. Then we somehow got on the subject of his grandmother... dh's mother, who sometimes keeps him. He's always excited to go stay with her and she's a dynamic, fun, child loving person (I thought!!!!)... He said, "she's mean to me." WIth a frown!!!!! This sort of scared me... I didn't know if I should pry any further. I've never known her to be anything like this. and he has never mentioned anything like this to me and always wants to go over there. Then, suddenly, he insisted that we stop playing and read a book. Did this go all wrong... turned out not so FUN. What should I do????? I hope she hasn't abused him in any way.
I can also tell that he's having issues with daddy who lives with us. His imaginary friend doesn't have a daddy, our cat doesn't have a daddy... I think he feels like he doesn't have one either, bc daddy is busy A LOT and he, himself has problems playing. Do you all have any suggestions for getting daddy involved without making him read the book? He did read ds a book tonight, which was pretty big, sad to say.
One more thing... today, when I pretended to throw a really silly, overly dramatic tantrum, he burst into tears. He thought it was real!!!!! and it was sooo fake and silly seeming to me. I felt terrible. Lots of the stuff in this book, I don't feel like I can do, bc he is so sensitive. Like the wrestling.. he doesn't want to fight me, but we've managed to still do it and it has been fun. I hope I'm not introducing him to violence, but Cohen says that is is good, even if the child is timid and nonviolent.
I know I have tapped into some serious emotions he's feeling right now... I hope I'm doing this right, bc it is all so complex. Thanks and please, feel free to tell me what I'm doing wrong, suggestions, thoughts, all that stuff.