The Diapering Forum - Page 11

[Justice2]

I have read this entire thread and the thread from last night. I completely agree that the diapering forum should be separated with a subforum specificlly for those that stalk and brag. I came to MDC through a friend through the diapering forum. It's why my son is in CDs now. Nym, I completely understand where you are coming from as EVERYONE of my cds have holes in them somewhere. I cannot afford to buy new and would be extremely proud of a new prefold. I haven't been in the diapering forum since my early days here (about 2 years ago) because I just felt like an outcast. I didn't bid on ebay auctions. I didn't stalk WAHMs. I didn't have *fluffy mail* every day. In fact, I have only had *paid for* (as opposed to gifts) two or three times and two of those were my original newborn prefolds and then my toddler prefolds. And yes, this does occur on other forums, but nowhere near to the extent that it occurs on the Diapering forum. If it there were a subforum created for the *hyena* posts and I didn't have to wade through them, I would go back to posting in that forum too.

[Knittin' in the Shade]

I do have a huge problem with it be glorified to the point where it's acceptable to ridicule others for embracing simpler methods.

I'll admit I was one of the mamas last night who was miffed at what I percieved to be several members poking fun at the diapering mamas (specifically, the "hyena" mamas.) FWIW, I was NOT ridiculing anyone for using prefolds and snappis (I use them myself). I probably should have taken it to PMs, and I've apologized in PMs and here for any hurt feelings I may have caused.

I do want to address this point, becuase I think it gets to the heart of the issue:

I think we should split it because the main, NFL message of cloth diapering is not spending tons of money on a dipe or a cover. That is a very select subgroup.

Did I miss the memo on the official NFL message on cloth diapering? Honestly, I don't think that passing judgement on how others choose to diaper their child is very NFL, either. What ever happened to "live and let live"?

And I couldn't agree with Kate and Sustainer regarding splitting the forums:

Re: making peace with hyenas vs. non-hyenas. We have actually been discussing that for awhile and are just working out the details. We too, feel that there needs to be a place for simple diaper talk and another place for hyena talk. Please be patient, changes are coming.

I just don't see how segregating the diapering community like that will be effective. It's going to give the mods triple the work trying to sort posts into the "correct" forum and it's going to further divide an already (as witnessed by this thread) fractured group at MDC. I think what will happen is that it will give those who already look down on *hyena* mamas more fodder and justification for disrespecting them. I dislike segregation of any flavor.

In reagrds to this:

I think you make some good points. It isn't even so much about hyena vs not hyena. It's the "let's rush and buy this! look what I have! look what I scored!" that gets to me- these things have absolutely nothing to do with the practicality of cloth diapering. It's one thing to say "Is brand XYZ good for night?" or "Are Chubbybums trim?" but another to be promoting buying $300 covers on a board where others might be coming for practical information.

Who said that the diapering forum can only be about the "practicality of cloth diapering"? That seems like an arbitrary (and unenforceable) rule to me. To some mamas, CDing is just finding whatever piece of clean cloth you can put on your babes tush to catch teh pee. For others, it's an expression of love for a much-anticipated baby. For still others, it's a way to deal with the agonizing wait when trying to concieve or bring home an adopted babe. Please, can we try not to judge other's choices (especially with something so trivial as what cloth they choose to put on their baby's tush)? I think most of us here strive to do the best we can for our children, and I know that we all fight daily for the right to make the decisions for our kids and ourselves. I don't see cloth diaper choices as any differnt than vax, circ, breastfeeding, or any other areas where we fight for a mama to be able to go against the grain and do what SHE thinks is best for her child.

[annettemarie]

Well, you rushed into a civil conversation, pulled out the most controversial parts, and really stirred the pot here, didn't you.

Stating my opinion is not judging. It's a real conversation stopper to start accusing people of being judgemental for sharing their opinion.

I'm not adding anything else at this point because I don't get the feeling you really want to hear what anyone has to say.

[nym]

Originally Posted by Sustainer

Deriving pleasure from others’ enthusiasm for diapers, whether that enthusiasm is expressed toward a $50 hyena item or a $2 prefold.



Anyone who feels that the attitude in the Diapering forum is that only unique and expensive diapers are applaudable or praise-worthy clearly hasn’t spent much time there. Information about what you need to CD is shared all the time.

Which is why I posted the thread the way I did. I can't afford an expensive diaper. But, I got something in the mail, and I wanted to share. I wanted a Hey lookit this thread all about me!

I know no one meant it the way it came out, and I am upset my thread is gone, but hey, I got controversy! I'll take that instead!

[Sisyphus]

Well, and let's be up front here, Knittin' in the Shade is a Hyena Soaker WAHM. Just for the record. So, she has a financial interest in making sure the Hyena stuff continues to dominate the board. I'm NOT saying that this is the only reason she posted, in fact, I'm sure it's not... I'm just saying, let's be honest here and have full disclosure.

[Sustainer]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

It's a real conversation stopper to start accusing people of being judgemental for sharing their opinion.

Why did you do it, then?

I'd just like to thank you for your post, Knittin' in the Shade!

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by Sustainer

Why did you do it, then?

I'd just like to thank you for your post, Knittin' in the Shade!

I didn't tell anyone they couldn't state their opnion because it is judgemental.
I didn't personally attack anyone in this thread.

[PatchyMama]

Originally Posted by lolov

Well, and let's be up front here, Knittin' in the Shade is a Hyena Soaker WAHM. Just for the record. So, she has a financial interest in making sure the Hyena stuff continues to dominate the board. I'm NOT saying that this is the only reason she posted, in fact, I'm sure it's not... I'm just saying, let's be honest here and have full disclosure.

Theresa doesnt really make many soakers anymore...I think I've seen her list maybe one for sale on her site in 6 months (tho I admit I havent checked that often, but thats the only one I have seen mentioend on MDC), LOL. So no, I dont think that applies in this case.

[DahliaRW]

I'll start up front and say I haven't read through this whole thread (ds only naps for so long and I want to get my 2 cents in before he wakes up).

I've actually been thinking about this for a while. I think that there should be different subforums in the diapering forum. For one, I think there should be a question and answers subforum. A place for newbies to ask what to buy and a place for those of us using dipes of any type to ask about washing, caring for, what else to get, etc. I'm biased though, because that's about all I use the forum for. I really don't care about showoff threads or who is stocking and find it a pain to dig through those threads to find Q&A type threads I can help with (or to find a question I posted).

I dunno how I feel about a different "hyena" forum. Maybe split it all up, pocket forum, aio forum, cpf forum (now that does seem a little excessive, but it's make finding useful info easier).

Just some random thoughts...

[ChattyCat]

I really don't know what Teresa said last night, but I think her post here was well though out, polite, tactful and expressed her valid opinion. I agree with much of what she said. And, as for her impartiality, she rarely sells her soakers anymore, because she's so busy creating new patterns for those of us who can't afford hyena soakers to knit ourselves! If you don't want to be judged, why are you being so judgemental towards her?

[Leilalu]

thanks Theresa!

[annettemarie]

I think it's a shame we can't keep this thread going in a spirit of communication, and instead are reducing it to pot shots and personal attacks.

Stating an opinion is not judging, and crying "I'm not judging you! Stop judging me by saying I'm judging you!" is really not getting us any closer to a solution.

[Oh the Irony]

Originally Posted by Jumblepuff

ETA I don't think it is so much about price even, more that there is just such a focus on buying and continue to buy even when you have plenty. For me that is overconsumption plain and simple and just because we all do it in one area or another doesn't mean there should be a forum dominated by it.

[Sustainer]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

I didn't tell anyone they couldn't state their opnion because it is judgemental.
I didn't personally attack anyone in this thread.

You asked what gave us the right to judge others, when no one had done any such thing. I quoted you previously.

Knittin in the Shade didn't personally attack anyone.

[annettemarie]

Sigh. Alright. If I just conceed that I am a judgemental bitch with no right to an opinion, can we please move on?

[PatchyMama]

: we were doing so well :LOL

[Sustainer]

You're not a bitch and you have every right to your opinion, and yes, let's move on.

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by mama2kyla

: we were doing so well :LOL

We were, weren't we.

[Leilalu]

back to the subject at hand.... Segregation has never proved to have a good outcome, IMO. And I think the purpose of this segregation is based in immaturity of respect for others and their choices and will not accomplish anything positive.
No one in the diapering forum is excluding prefold users for the sake of excluding prefold users. This is a forum, for discussing things. If you don't post and talk it is not anybody elses fault but your own. We need to stop bringing our baggage to the forums.
Personal differences and issues between others aside, I think it is possible to get along. If th ecloth diapering community here at MDC is split, that doesn't send a very good message to outsiders, now does it?

[annettemarie]

But again, I don't believe it's a matter of segregating the hyenas and the non-hyenas, If there was one place for scores and show-offs, another place for questions, that would streamline things/ I don't see how that's segregation any more than having 4 different breastfeeding forums.