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Taking a pay cut, moving to a city I never wanted to live in, to live near parents? - Page 2

post #21 of 27
We've had multiple opportunities to move away from our town, but DH and I both grew up without local grandparents (his in England, mine in Malaysia) or extended family (most of my cousins are in Australia), so we made the decision that we wanted our kids to grow up with extended family, and have never left town.

Have you tried posting in the Illinois Tribe to see if there are MDC moms in Springfield? Perhaps it will also help to know that there are AP moms and resources where you're going.

Good luck!
post #22 of 27
Thread Starter 
Thank you so much for all your insights. It is all so complicated and you all brought up some great points. My parents are hesitant to move because of their parents. They are in great shape, but my dad has an ongoing fight with cancer that helps keep things in perspective for me. Although my husband is not as close to his family, this move would put us in driving distance to both his sisters.

I love reading your advice, and though most people felt we should stay put, it helped me to process why I'm making this decision.

So...my husband has accepted the job, and we are planning on moving. I'm scared, unsure, hopeful, excited, sad. Just a ball of emotions, mostly.

Wish me luck!

post #23 of 27
Good luck!!! You are very sweet to want this so much for your family. It is hard, but things have a way of working out.
post #24 of 27
I'm sure you won't regret it.

You'e giving your children a gift that no amount of money could ever buy: an extended family.

Good luck!
post #25 of 27
I hope it works for you. Family can be so important.
I think of my G-parents & Parents when they all lived fairly close to one another.
My parents moved me 2K mi. AWAY from the bulk of the family when I was in 3rd grade. I always missed being with G-parents, cousins, etc..
Now I moved away (3yrs ago) from my grown DD & my MOm & I can't believe HOW much I miss them.

I think we will move closer to them in a few yrs.

You can always move back if it does not work & try to bring your parents with you!
Good luck
post #26 of 27

I was in your situation just recently

and we decided to make the move.
I had a newborn at the time. And the move was difficult.
When we got here, I was miserable. We are close to family, but all those good old childhood issues (remember those?) came into play as soon as we arrived.
But--time has passed (it's now been a year) and now I am glad we did it.
The house is MUCH smaller, but I've worked hard to make a new community of friends and now holidays are easier--just a few minutes away and we're at eath other's home for a holiday meal.
And now we can entertain family without having to worry about having them stay overnight (which is hard to do).
And it's funny how fast the people I left behind forgot us. And even didn't send Christmas cards for our first year away.

I guess my advice (although you probably don't need it) would be not to expect too much from your famliy as soon as you arrive. They already have lives and friends and you might feel frustrated once you arrive that they aren't more grateful that you are there.
Now--this is just my experience, things may be totally different for you.

And about money--I'm a stay at home mom on a tight budget, so the money is never an issue--otherwise, I'd work. Because it's the same argument (Can we afford it?) just in another avenue (extended family instead of immediate family). What I am saying is that money should never be an issue when it comes to the ones you love. They need your heart and time and memories, not your wallet. You'll be able to figure out how to survive on less. We did, and I have learned that there are places that have great things for tots to do that are free and that I can exercise without a fancy gym, etc.
But my kids LOVE being near grandma and grandpa. They really do.

Good luck in your move. Label all of your boxes.
post #27 of 27
Wow! I have a similar situation. I moved to Central Coast of California from the North Coast (which I love). Ican't stand this town and it has nothing to do, I never meet anyone but my parents live a block a way. My ds wakes up each morning and asks where grandma and grandpa are. My mom watches my son while I work so he's not in daycare. He is so well taken care of, I can't imagine not having that. I couldn't give that up just so I could have my cultural experiences. The two values compete in my head: family close by in our lives everyday, or living in a cool community of likeminded folks. Maybe later when the kids are older and can travel to see the gparents. Right now, I know my son thinks of my mom as his other mom. He calls us both mama, but signs grandma at the same time when he is talking about her.

He sees dh's mom about 2-3 times a month and at this age, it just isn't the same as an around the corner grandma.
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