How do you take care of your toddler while feeling like crap?

[ajsgirl]

I'm feeling worse by the day. I nearly barfed at Trader Joe's and I'm getting to the point where I feel like I can't do anything too strenuous or active without feeling so lousy. I'm only 6 weeks along.

My ds is a very spirited, sweet little guy and I feel awful that I'm not being a very playful parent these days. All day long he wants me to "come see!" and "mommy do it!" and "I want (fill in the blank)." I'm trying to fill his time with art projects, stickers, and I've been resorting to tv. I hate that he's watching so much (2+ hours a day), but I feel like it's my only chance to rest a little. And I'm afraid that it's just going to get worse as I feel worse.

What do you do to keep your little one occupied while you feel so sick or tired or both? I need ideas!

[LolaEight]

I really feel your pain. My kids too have been watching way too much television, but the way I figure it is that this is *temporary* and we'll be feeling better soon, and it will all be better. My favorite activity non-television is to lay on the floor and just let them crawl all over me. At least it doesn't take too much of my energy!!!!

It's hard when we stay home all day, and by lunch, my dd has painted, played in her room, played with PlayDoh, played outside, and done whatever, and it's still early. I mean we get up at 7, and they go to bed at 8 and she doesn't nap. That means there are 13 hours in a day to keep her busy. That's when 3 hours of television doesn't sound so bad. That's still 10 hours she's not watching television! And there are days she watches 12 hours!!!! Not really, and I don't mean to sound like a television advocate, but we are pregnant and trying to survive!!!!!

And going to the park in 85 degree weather with 80% humidity is not really fun at this stage of the game. The list of things we can do as it gets hotter is shrinking. Even walks make me want to throw up it's so hot.... blech!

[ehsclt]

ajsgirl,

First of all, I think it's just plain hard to be in the first trimester and to have a toddler. I have a child who is a little younger than yours and also a four year old. I definitely struggle to take good care of them, particularly in the afternoons when I am most worn out.

Would your ds be interested in books on tape, do you think? My older child began listening to them when my younger was born. She was 25 months old at that time, but she's a particularly calm child who has always loved books. Our library has a huge selection of books on tape and I love them and think they are a much better use of time than tv.

I also take them to the playground often. If I can, I find a bench to sit on and hang out while they play. They can be active, and I can rest, although my younger one often needs me to be close to her for safety reasons. There are a few fenced playgrounds near us that are best for my current needs.

Finally, my personal opinion is that we have to let some things go when we are in our first trimesters. If your ds has to watch a little more tv and that's what you need to do to keep him safe and occupied, then I think that's acceptable. I can tell that that isn't the way you usually parent, but you won't feel this way for long, either. Or so we hope. That said from someone who lives in a house with no tv, but wouldn't mind a little of it right now.

Sorry I don't have any better ideas. I am interested in seeing what others have to say.

Emily

[sunnylady303]

I am there with you. We watch no tv but we do have one and I have succumbed to letting my 18 month dd watch a Baby Einstein DVD twice now. We read a lot. And we nurse (although I worry about whether it is safe for my new baby). But I am struggling too. Oh, we just got her a little baby pool and she will play in that for a half hour sometimes while I sit in the shade. I too am interested in more responses!

[VikingKvinna]

:

We're gonna be in the same boat very soon. My DS loves to read too, so we'll curl up on the couch together and I'll read him book after book (bonus: he turns the pages so I can knit! ). We also just got a sandbox, and so every fair afternoon we go outside, me armed with knitting, cordless phone, water bottles, sunscreen, snacks, etc., and DS plays in the sandbox.

If you're still nursing, that's a great way to get to put your feet up just for a little while. And I never stopped following the rule of "nap when he naps!" ITA with the others who say you have to let stuff go, as much as you can/will let yourself. More important things are going on.

HTH!
~nick

[because]

Originally Posted by VikingKvinna

And I never stopped following the rule of "nap when he naps!"

Yes! It's amazing how much better I feel when I've had a nap.

As far as what to do while awake: get some favorite toys and block DS and the toys and you all in a room together so you can lay down while he plays; put a blanket down in the backyard and grab some pillows to set up a resting spot while he runs around outside in the yard; eat LOTS of snacks (the kids generally don't mind this one!); go somewhere where there are good distractions (I think grocery shopping doesn't count because all the icky food, smells, etc.); most of all: don't feel guilty! TV is a temporary thing here. As long as it's PBS or something and not, say, Bride of Chucky, it's OK.

[Nosy]

I've just spent three weeks mostly lying on the floor while DS crawls all over me until DH gets home. He's seen Signing Time twice, and has never previously seen any tv. I second the sandbox idea. DS will play in it for quite a while while I sit in a lounge chair outside. I'm 9 weeks now and starting to feel marginally better.

No suggestions, really, just support. Good luck!

[jillyofthevalley]

Now that the hot weather is here, the kiddie pool is a life saver! I have 3 under the age of five right now and the pool can keep them entertained for a few hours, even my 13 month old! I just set up the pool next to the covered swing and I lay there for a couple hours in the shade while the kids play. Very relaxing!

TV is a life saver for the older ones but right now the baby just isn't into it so it is a bit of a struggle to find things to keep him occupied indoors. He's very attached to his mama and still doesn't play well on his own (unless he's in the pool, that is!).

[hottmama]

My son has been spending 4+ hours a day nursing on the couch. Heh. Better than TV, right? (we don't have one so it's not even an option. Also, today I took him to the skate park to watch skateboarders which was an hour of sitting on a bench. He thought it was way cool. Food keeps him occupied a lot, too. He's been chowing down on apples lately, which only require washing before handing to him.
We've been napping together, as well. It's hard for me to get up when he does, though.

[ahuva]

Oh wow. What a necessary thread. I'm a little jealous of you mamas with a sandbox/pool. We're living abroad for another month and we have very few toys and nothing big like that. Also no TV, so that temptation isn't around.

I let him crawl all over me, sit on the couch and read books/sing songs, I have intentions of making some playdough. We go out to parks and I spend as much time on the bench as possible. We take in more so I don't have to deal with food, something that feels beyond me now. I let him play in the sink with the water sometimes. We hide things and he searches for them and hides them again, always in the same place and I ask him where they are...in the bedroom...no, the kitchen...no. etc. puzzles are great to do from the couch.

Also, the biggest hit is his little kid's suitcase and backpack. He loves putting things in it and going on "trips" around the apartment.

I've also arranged a childcare swap once a week with another mom. I don't know if this is possible for any of you, but it's worked out well for us and I get a few hours for a break.

Some great ideas on this tread. thanks!

[VikingKvinna]

Originally Posted by hottmama

We've been napping together, as well. It's hard for me to get up when he does, though.

Yeah, there's the rub! DS and I napped for around 3 hours yesterday and I *still* could have kept sleeping.

Ahuva, does your little one like baths? If so, you could improvise a baby pool in the bathtub (if you have one!). Bring out a lot of toys and let him splash around in there. Dispense with the usual soap-and-shampoo routine so it's not like a "bath" kwim? But if he's into water that might be a good trick.

These are great ideas, mamas! keep 'em coming!

~nick

[ahuva]

yeah, the bath is a good idea, but ds doesn't really love the water enough for 2 baths a day. we have a pool membership though, so i'm going to start taking him and try to get him more comfortable with it. i think we'll also get a kiddie pool when we return to the states in a month. my dh was very excited about the idea. anyway, we're getting by...creatively. the best i can do is go to bed early and nap when he naps and drag myself along for the rest of the day.