Favorite Funny Stories of Pets Past and Present

[shannon0218]

So, share some of your favorite stories of you pets, the ones that make you laugh, or cry, give you inspiration, make you shake your head and wonder why we let these creatures live in our houses!!

I thought of this after going in to check on my napping dd to find her right in the middle of the bed where I left her and Bedlam at the top of the bed about a foot above her head and Havoc at the bottom of the bed a foot below her feet--where was the cat??? Why he was sleeping on his back with all 4 feet stuck in the air--in her co-sleeper--now more formally known as the cat-sleeper :

[shannon0218]

Ok, here's a good one.
Our last female "Tunza" was slightly insane and in her very short life caused many problems and cost us a ton of money (them free dogs for you!!)
It was a beautiful spring day, the first one we'd had where you wanted to drive with the windows open. Tunza is in the back of the truck along with Havoc and all my laundry as I was heading into town to do laundry. I see her sticking her head out the window, she'd go to the back, stick her head, I thought she was just enjoying having her head in the breeze, then I saw something go flying in the rear view mirror, turns out she was taking socks and underwear out of the laundry basket and dropping them out the window, I went back and found various pieces of clothing scattered for 2 miles--I'm still missing socks but I save the odd ones hoping I'll find them on a walk some day :

[coopnwhitsmommy]

our dog Quirk didn't play with toys...she played with empty pop bottles went potty in a litter box and ate tp

[Doodlebugsmom]

make you shake your head and wonder why we let these creatures live in our houses!!

This is one of those! Anyway, last weekend dd opened up our screen door and my husky mix, Hannah, slipped out. Hannah is the type of dog that will bolt if given the opportunity. Off she went! Dh was out of town, so out I go with a bag of cheese to lure her with and the kids in tow. We walked around the neighborhood for about 15 minutes and didn't find her. Of course I'm freaking out worrying about her. We head home and as we approach the house, here comes Hannah. She looked all proud and excited. I get closer to her and notice that she looks wet, especially on her neck and side. I knew she'd rolled in something! I lured her in with the cheese and noticed that she had gray liquid all over her. She got closer and the smell about sent me to the bathroom! She had rolled in something large and dead! Probably a deer. Poor dd was gagging and yelling, "Mommy, get Hannah in the bathtub!" So, I had to drape Hannah in towels and carry her to the bathroom and bathe her. (She weighs about 70lbs.) It was the most disgusting, repulsive thing I've ever smelled! She sure is a sweetie though! I wouldn't trade her for the world.

[Viriditas]

Ooh, I've got a good one. This is from my mom, but I know it's true because I saw the evidence.

My mom was mad at our dog J.D. before she left for work in the morning. I think he got into the trash or something. She was scolding him quite angrily and he was looking very guilty.

J.D. took off for the day (he had the run of the neighborhood...not something I would let my dog do, but he had lots of friends) and my mom left for work.

That evening she came home and was sitting on the porch. Up the driveway J.D. comes. He has something in his mouth. She asked him what he had and he dropped it in her hand. It was a box of Chocolates!!! But the best part...she opened it up and all the chocolates were still inside!


Another story from when I was a kid...also involving J.D. and our other dog Tigger.

One easter (I think I was about 8) my parents got up at 5am and hid TONS of easter eggs (real dyed eggs and plastic chocolate-filled ones) all over our yard and around the house for my brother and sister and I to find. They must have hidden 3 or 4 dozen.

We get up, grab our baskets, and start hunting. My parents get sort of puzzled when 10 minutes goes by and we still haven't found any eggs. They hadn't hidden them that well. Then we start finding empty plastic eggs cracked open, some with teeth marks in them. Then it starts to become clear. The dogs are lying in the driveway bloated and looking really, really sick. They had eaten every single egg (I think we found 2 in high places), including the chocolate out of the plastic eggs...foil and all.

[shannon0218]

This happened to a client of mine. He was driving in Northern Ontario, on one of the stretches of the Trans Canada Highway that just has nothing anywhere. His dog started whining to go to the bathroom. No big deal this guy thinks, lets the dog out to pee (dog was very well trained, didn't use a leash) so the dog pees then chases something into the bush--it's a skunk, dog gets sprayed--but of course he has NO CHOICE but to put the dog back in his car!!!! By the time he got to a town he stunk so bad he knew nobody would give him a room--he ended up washing the dog in one of those do it yourself car wash places :

[jeanieloz]

I had a horse that could open up gates, he would also bang his hoof against the gate when he thought it was feeding time. He would also pick up sticks and chase the other horses around and smack them with the stick.
My parents had a dog that would yelp every time he farted, it would scare him. This same dog loved to go for car rides, so much that he would scale each car to see if any windows were open, sometimes he was duped and would jump into the window and get smacked by the glass because it was closed. One time our farm truck had the window half way down, it was too high for the dog to jump in, so he jumped onto the hood of the truck, went over the big side mirror and pushed the window down with his paws till it got far enough down to climb into, my mother and I sat and watched him do this and thought since he struggled so hard for about 20 minutes it was worth taking him for a ride.
I had a cat, who just recently died, that would cry everytime the kids would cry or get upset. I had another cat that would groom my husband, she would wait for him to get out of the shower and follow him till he sat down and would proceed to groom him.
Donna

[boricuaqueen327]

This happened in Puerto Rico when Goldie was about 1. My dad went downstairs and brought up a big bunch of bananas. He left them on the porch for a minute while he changed and figured dogs didn't eat bananas so they would be fine. Well boy was he wrong! He came back to find lots of empty banana peels and one very satisfied Golden retirever. LOL. She figured out how to peel the bananas and ate quite oa few of them and left the peels for him to see. My mom said she must have been part monkey or a monkey in another life. LOL.

[sapphire_chan]

A hamster called Spike

I have had several hamsters over my lifetime, but the oddest was Spike. When I first got him, he was running in his little wheel and it was squeaking and keeping me awake, so I went and got some cooking spray and sprayed the wheel where the axel connected to the stand. He was still in the wheel at the time, and the way his fur looked after getting vegetable oil on it is how he got the name Spike.

Spike lived in an old bird cage, about twice as high as your standard hamster cage. He liked to climb to the top and crawl across the ceiling. He was perfectly capable of making it all the way across, and could even go a short way hanging by just his front paws. However, he frequently would stop in the middle, all four paws still securely holding him to the ceiling of the cage, and just let go. That's right, he'd just let his little hamster self fall to the floor of the cage, then he'd go do it all again. Strangest hamster ever.

[sapphire_chan]

When the wooly bears lived with the geckos

One of our geckos was happily laying along a branch in the terrarium near the heat lamp. A wooly bear catterpillar started crawling on the same branch. When it reached the gecko's tail, it kept going. The gecko was startled by this and began flicking its tail from side to side. Any of you remember Darkwing Duck? And that episode with "put out the Darkwing, put out the Darkwing"? If so, you know *exactly* what the catterpillar looked like flying around on the gecko's tail.

[earthenware]

I know a cocker spaniel named Brutis that hates two things: his last name and the song 'Home on the Range'. Try tricking him any way you want, but if you say 'Hi Brutis Jones' he is going to freak out, barking, yelping, spinning in circles in agony. Then if you say, 'Oh, sorry Brutis Smith (or whatever, just *not* Jones), he goes back to being fine, looking a little relieved actually. As for 'Home on the Range', you can start out singing anything you like, but if you throw a line from 'Home on the Range' in the middle, he's going to lose it! What a dog!!

[eksmom]

I posted this on my blog in Dec. 2001 (I edited it slightly for here):

Last year's Christmas tree was a joke. Hannah, the Lab, and Jefferson, the cat, tag-teamed in an all-out spectacle of destruction. Jefferson would take the first turn, batting wildly at low-hanging ornaments until they fell off the tree. He would play with the bright, shiny globes on the floor for a few minutes until his game was interrupted by Hannah, who played by a different set of rules: if it's on the floor, it must be mine. You know what you hear about Labs being soft-mouthed? Well, it never occurred to Hannah to be soft-mouthed with the ornaments, and at least twice I came home to find her lying on the bed or her favorite rug, surrounded by a rainbow assortment of small pieces of glass. After a frantic search for the ornament hangers and a call to the vet, Hannah would enjoy a dinner of Shredded Wheat and chicken broth, specially prepared to escort the pieces of glass safely through her system.

Granted, this was the worst-case scenario, and it only happened a couple of times, when I was dumb enough not to crate Hannah when I was out. The rest of the time, Jefferson was the only culprit, and while he didn't do much damage to the ornaments or endanger his health, he forced redecoration of the tree every single day. I don't think a day went by that I didn't have to rearrange the strands of lights at the bottom of the tree and put ornaments back in their proper place. Finally, around mid-December, I gave in and took the Christmas tree down, satisfying my need for decoration by stringing the lights around the living room where the walls met the ceiling. Not exactly a Norman Rockwell kind of Christmas.

---

Another Christmas (either 2001 or 2002), I came home from work one Friday to find that Hannah had eaten limbs off the cedar tree (which was probably still undecorated at that point) and subsequently left a trail of barf all over the living room and hallways. We spent that Friday night with the good Rug Doctor. :LOL

[kanga1622]

Let me just say that our pup has SEVERE separation anxiety. At noon today I came home to find our miniature poodle Keegan extremely excited to see me. As DH and I got closer to him (behind the baby gates), we noticed that he had some shredded cardboard in his bed. It turns out that I had forgotten to put away 2 bags of non perishable groceries last night. He had shredded the boxes for 4 packages of elbow macaroni and the noodles were spread out across the entire kitchen floor. So this afternoon DH is staying at home watching him because we aren't sure if he ate any of it. Hopefully by this time tomorrow he's either passed what he ate or he's starving because he hasn't had food in 36 hours. : Unfortunately the vet didn't have any better ideas than to watch him and limit his water intake.

[guiltriddenmommy]

We had a chihuahua named Hercules several years ago that was very difficult to train. He had to sleep in the kitchen where we had tile so as not to pee on the carpet during the night (we knew nothing about crate training at the time). Most every morning I'd wake up to a puddle on the floor and Hercules would receive a little scolding. One night he peed under the kitchen table. The trash can wasn't closed all the way and there was a used paper towel hanging out of it. Hercules jumped up and took the paper towel out of the trash can and carried it over to his pee puddle and placed it on top of the pee. I guess he figured if he cleaned up his own mess he wouldn't get in trouble. It worked. It was too funny.

Lucy