ok, i recently attended a baby shower for a good friend of mine. I was the only one of her friends that showed up, ie: everyone else was either her family or little old ladies that were members of her church, (where the shower was held). In all, there were about 35 ladies there.
Now, all of these ladies were invited, either through private invitation, or through an open invitation in the church bullatin, hence all the little old ladies.
The mom to be shows up...this is her first child. She is really happy and excited, of course. She asks me to sit by her at the front of the room and help her with presents and also write down who gave her what so she can send that person a thank you note for what they gave her...proper etiquette, right? I thought so....Anyway,
She began unwrapping presents, and the party guests paid attention to what she was doing for the first 5 minutes...long enough for my friend to read aloud the first 3 cards and open the first 3 gifts...then the old ladies began talking amongst themselves, getting louder and louder until my friend was shouting over them to read out the cards. Eventually, she just gave up, and read them to herself and me, since i was the only one paying attention to her. even her family members started to join in on the various multi-conversations that were going on in the room.
They all stayed for the free cake and ice cream, and the other novelties that we had there. Then they all left...all at once, the old ladies, the family members, everyone but the 2 grandmas-to-be and me and one of her aunts. I went with my friend back to her house afterward and we told her dh what happened. He asked us why we didn't tell them to shut up or pay attention, or ask the old ladies to leave, ("hey, you are disrupting this whole thing, and you aren't family, so either be quiet or go home."). We looked at each other kinda blankly. Why didn't we do that?
I didn't say anything to them because I didn't think it was my place to, (and if I had said something, it probably would've been really REALLY rude since I was sooo mad), and she didn't say anything because she wasn't sure what to say or how to say it, or what would be the proper thing to say. It did hurt her feelings very much, and it really pissed me off, too.
So here's the question, what should we have done under the circumstances without being rude to the guests, or what are the rules concerning unruly baby shower guests who just gave you a present or presents for your new baby?
Thanks for the input!!
PS--They also ALL hit her with these TERRIBLE things to say to a pg woman: (she took these pretty well, considering they had already hurt her feelings by ruining her party)
1: You are so huge!
2: Are you sure you aren't having twins?
3: Your due date can't be right. You look like you are about to pop any second!
4: Are you sure you're having a girl? Wouldn't it be just awuful if you had a boy after you got/bought all these pretty girl things, ha ha!
5: Aren't you dissapointed that your first baby isn't going to be a boy?
Now, all of these ladies were invited, either through private invitation, or through an open invitation in the church bullatin, hence all the little old ladies.
The mom to be shows up...this is her first child. She is really happy and excited, of course. She asks me to sit by her at the front of the room and help her with presents and also write down who gave her what so she can send that person a thank you note for what they gave her...proper etiquette, right? I thought so....Anyway,
She began unwrapping presents, and the party guests paid attention to what she was doing for the first 5 minutes...long enough for my friend to read aloud the first 3 cards and open the first 3 gifts...then the old ladies began talking amongst themselves, getting louder and louder until my friend was shouting over them to read out the cards. Eventually, she just gave up, and read them to herself and me, since i was the only one paying attention to her. even her family members started to join in on the various multi-conversations that were going on in the room.
They all stayed for the free cake and ice cream, and the other novelties that we had there. Then they all left...all at once, the old ladies, the family members, everyone but the 2 grandmas-to-be and me and one of her aunts. I went with my friend back to her house afterward and we told her dh what happened. He asked us why we didn't tell them to shut up or pay attention, or ask the old ladies to leave, ("hey, you are disrupting this whole thing, and you aren't family, so either be quiet or go home."). We looked at each other kinda blankly. Why didn't we do that?
I didn't say anything to them because I didn't think it was my place to, (and if I had said something, it probably would've been really REALLY rude since I was sooo mad), and she didn't say anything because she wasn't sure what to say or how to say it, or what would be the proper thing to say. It did hurt her feelings very much, and it really pissed me off, too.
So here's the question, what should we have done under the circumstances without being rude to the guests, or what are the rules concerning unruly baby shower guests who just gave you a present or presents for your new baby?
Thanks for the input!!
PS--They also ALL hit her with these TERRIBLE things to say to a pg woman: (she took these pretty well, considering they had already hurt her feelings by ruining her party)
1: You are so huge!
2: Are you sure you aren't having twins?
3: Your due date can't be right. You look like you are about to pop any second!
4: Are you sure you're having a girl? Wouldn't it be just awuful if you had a boy after you got/bought all these pretty girl things, ha ha!
5: Aren't you dissapointed that your first baby isn't going to be a boy?
) and all so it wasn't a total loss. Perhaps you could throw her a more intamate shower with just a few of her friends. Generally around here is anyone is having a shower (bridal or baby) that involves gifts from more than a few people (10-15) it is an open house style come and go thing and anyone who wants to see the grand opening or at least thier gift can hang with the guest of honor and watch or they can go get some food, give tha mama a kiss, congratulate expectant grandparents and be on thier way. All of my showers have been small with 10 people or less so everyone was very intrested in what I was opening. As for the rude comments -spit in thier punch and smile while they drink it 
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