Originally Posted by loved
People are not perfect.
How bad is the "bad behavior"?
If you're fighting in front of the children: stop. It has to be the number one rule.
If he refuses to stop then get out - because it is nothing short of child abuse.
Aside from abuse and infidelity - what warrents divorce?
If you are feeling like a victim than haven't you allowed yourself to feel that way? What is our part in the behavior?
I really really believe that when two people get married and then have children they should do every single thing they can to save thier marriage before they earn the right to a divorce (barring the above - and even sometimes with infidelity). The children deserve thier efforts. They deserve that thier parents figuer it out...hell, even act as if they are happy (because sometimes that does result in rekindling the friendship they once had), go away on an extended vacation together - hash it out, fight it out, save the marriage - do whatever it it takes.
I believe marriage is important.
I feel very concerned reading this post,
because you are expressing strong, strong opinions on a subject you obviously cannot personally relate to. And I'd also like to suggest that you
open up your heart in good faith to the common ground women share (in other words, trust your fellow sisters and their intuition!) Only SHE is the expert on her own reality!
I say this because . . .
If you were able to personally relate to the subject matter you're discussing, you'd know that you don't have to state the obvious, such as 'people are not perfect.'
You'd know that the above-referenced, bold-type paragraph is highly loaded.
In fact, you'd know that this is just the insidious and dangerous kind of thinking that grants licensure to abusers and perpetuates suffering in victims.
You'd know that your rhetoric on the importance of marriage would be a given to these ladies who share a thread titled 'self/marriage *enlightenment* support group.'
Especially, I ask that you not make assumtions.