Originally Posted by May May
Oh, and also . . .
Part of why it took me *so long* to come to this place (statistically speaking, btw, it often takes women much longer than six years) was because of misogynistic comments from women, such as:
- All men act like that, you must not *get men*
- That's just how men are, honey (tongue in cheek)
- He's a great man, I just don't see what you're talking about
- You're reading into it
- Your over-reacting
- You are hyper-sensitive
- You sure are 'hormonal' -- is it your time of the month?
- Stop making waves
- You should be grateful for all that he does for you and stop complaining
- You're expecting unrealistic things
- You're a perfectionist
- You're trying to control him
- You should be thankful . . .back in my day it was customary for men to beat their wives, etc. etc.
- You need to work on your appearance (meaning: that's why he's treating you the way that he is, i.e. 'you deserve it')
Sometimes I have caught women saying these comments about the men in their own lives...taking the blame, making excuse...the "all men are like this" really bugs me and I am quick to point out "my DH isn't like this" but there is so much of it a women can talk to many of her women friends and they understand because many of them are living with the same thing...so they conclude this is the way it is.
How do the men who are not like this escape...my father was not like it but my brother has these qualities...maybe sometimes the way a man's mother raises him contributes...being overpowered by a woman as a child might have some affect. That would have been how my brother was raised..my mother was incredibly controlling of us...
How do we prevent our sons from being this kind of man?