I'm actually not quite as badly off as I sounded last night. I just got more sleep than I've had in the last four days combined, so my morale has definitely improved. I still wish I'd held out for the VBA2C, except if a real emergency had arisen. However...I still see three victories in standing my ground as long as I did.
1) Evan didn't have the breathing problems in his first few days that Emma had. I don't know if that's because I had labour, but I'm inclined to think that it was. So...holding out for labour seems to have helped him there.
2) My milk came in as quickly as it did with Kelly. Emma lost over a pound in hospital, but Evan only lost 7oz, even though he started out slightly heavier in the first place. He was definitely getting more milk more quickly, and I attribute that to the fact that I went into labour first, as well.
3) Because I did hold out that long, and it seems to have helped my little guy, I'm not feeling quite as bulldozed as last time. I wish I hadn't given in at the last minute as the contractions were really happening at that point (about 5 minutes apart, couldn't talk throught them, etc.). But, I didn't, so I'm trying to focus on the positives.
And, for whatever reason, I've definitely bounced back much more quickly than with either of my others. I still feel like death warmed over, but I was walking the ward on the first day - at a point where I could barely make it to the bathroom with Emma. So, something's better.
My incision was oozing and gaping slightly yesterday. I was afraid they were going to keep me another day and I'd already called my mom to pick me up, and my daughter knew I was coming home. That would have broken my heart. But, my OB just told me I can page him if there's an increase in bleeding or if I experience any unusual pain. He'll call me back and meet me at the hospital, if necessary. He may have made me a bit mad at the end, but I definitely appreciated that...another day in that room would have broken me, I think.