How did you convience your DH? - Page 2

[alexia_i_aa]

Oh, and I had to laugh re: the chiro bit -- I started going to a chiro last year and have never felt better but that he hasn't come around to yet. I'll keep workin' on him ;-)

alexia

[starbarrett]

I know what you mean. An out of hospital birth was non-negotiable for me, but I also didn't want my DH to be so nervous he provide me good support. I just asked DH to remind me how he was swayed. He said he made requests of the type of professsional who would attend the birth. His parents are both nurses, and honestly I think he has more faith in nurses than doctors anyway, so he requested a CNM. We found the worlds best CNM.

Of course, CNMs are probably more expensive than a lay midwife, which is more expensive than no midwife at all.... But maybe there's something besides the type of midwife that would make your dh comfortable with a hb.

[Baby Hopes]

My hubby (certainly not crunchy by any stretch) surprised me by being on board 100% for this homebirth. Well, he started out being on board for a BC birth, and then after much research and realizing that there wasn't much of a difference between HB and BC birth he came around quickly.

I would suggest talking to Tricare and asking for a list of CNM in the area who offer Homebirths. If there aren't any then I would approach Tricare about a refferal for an out-of network provider. In the hopes of having her covered 100% by Prime. (Wombat mentions this in the Tricare thread.) If all else fails get together information about switching to Standard and the costs involved there.

I don't know the HB laws in NC... so can't speak to that. However, the more prepared you are with the actual cost break down, the better your argument will be.

You may be surprised by how much Tricare will actually cover and how little the cost may be.

I'm thinking about buying an inflatable pool for 20 bucks for the water birth... and a couple of hoses. Although, one of the midwives whom I interviewed has birth tub rentals that she has suggested we try first billing Tricare for before we "invest" in an inflatable pool.

I am also going to buy a birthing kit. For about 35 bucks.

My big plan (still trying to get all my Tricare info in a row) is to have the MW covered 100% with insurance, and then I'll only have a few things to get in addition. (inflatable pool, birth kit, food...)

I think once you get the actual break down of cost, and have your HB safety argument lined up... THAT's when you should approach your husband about having a HB. That way you can offer a reasonable, afforadable, and comprehensive list of answers to your husbands questions. I can't imagine him having a foot to stand on after he hears how affordable it could be & how safe it is.

I did want to add that $$ is a big factor in our household too. We've got a little bit saved up... but I would find it hard to reconcile using specific savings on a birth, when the rest of us still have mouths that need fed and backs that need clothed. Not to mention a roof over our heads. lol. That's why I am pushing so hard to know as much about what Tricare covers. I may have to choose someone other than the CPM whom I because right now it looks like Tricare will only cover CNMs.

[hunnybumm]

Just for a little helpful info. I called TriCare and double checked and everything you mentioned above is 100% correct. I even triple checked about CPMs to see if I could find someone to pay for it, but nope they won't, I'm not surprised though. The Tricare lady didn't know a whole lot, she tried to tell me I would have to do a POS for out of network CNM, or switch to standard. But I asked her to double check so she called someone with Heath Net (or whatever is past Tricare) and she told me to go to my primary care provider and get a referal.

So now I just have to find a CNM who is willing to do a hb. So far I have one name, pfft. So hopefully this lady is willing to drive to my house, and hopefully I will like her. If she isn't my favorite lady then I will probably spring for a doula, I found one I really like (she is also a lay midwife) I just have to convience DH about the extra $$$. No clue what I am going to do if I can't find a CNM willing to come to my house.... I may have to switch to a BC. But I would much rather have a BC birth than a hospital birth.