healthy body image - Page 2

[robynberkley]

UGH...my sister and I both read "Reviving Ophelia" and loved it but sadly it reminded us of growing up and the eating disorders/dieting regimes both of us went through. I recommend it highly, though!!

When I was in college, my BF at the time said I was like a gorilla because I weighed 5 pounds more than him (I was about 160 and 5' 9")...in reality he was the wimp but hey...who's judging! Anyway, I went on a diet, which took on a life of its own. At first I ate 1000-1200 calories per day, but then I wanted to lose weight faster, so it shrunk eventually to about 500-700 calories per day. I lost my period, but BOY was I skinny ~ 125 pounds!!! One day I finally looked in the mirror and saw my sunken collarbones and was shocked beyond belief. All I can say is THANK GOD I noticed otherwise I might have been hospitalized for anorexia. I still struggle with the concept of dieting today for fear that will take over and happen again. My therapist said probably not, but I'm afraid to take a chance. I rearranged my thinking and now I only concentrate on eating healthy, organic if I can, and as much as I want. I am much more satisfied with my body image, even with a few pounds on me...such is life!

Gotta run to get DD dinner...!

Cheers...Robyn

[bebe luna]

Ways to develop a healthy body image... I am speaking from the efforts and work I have had to do for myself. I have battled eating disorders since in my teens. I grew up very involved in dance- a beautiful art, a great discipline, but a place where girls are often taught that thin is best, and are pushed to be very thin- at any cost: starving, throwing up, over-exercising, etc... My mom also focused on her weight a lot. She'd always be on some diet or fast, she'd exercise for hours, run, bike, skip rope, she'd make comments about food and weight, and even when I was young and didn't fully comprehend why, I think it made an impression on me- I observed her behaviors and attitudes and learned them.
So, what I've done to help myself, to get further from body-image enslavement...
I try to avoid watching many Hollywood movies, or watching TV, or looking at "womens magazines"...
I exercise, but try to think of how it is strengthening my heart and lungs, how it helps me have good energy, etc. NOT how I'm burning 400, 500 calories, NOT "this will help me get skinny"...
I try to eat frequent, small meals- so I don't feel deprived and my blood sugar stays stable... I don't restrict myself from foods I love. I try to choose organic, but if I want chocolate or ice cream, I have it. I try to eat reasonable serving amounts, so I don't feel "guilty", but I don't focus on it too much.
I participate in activities that are fulfilling to me- it helps me feel satisfied and helps me have a strong self-esteem...
I don't think it's wrong for you to introduce your kids to sports, but sports aren't for everyone... I have always been a dancer, but I never enjoyed ather sports. Pressure to be athletic could be harmful. I'd say to encourage them to find things they love to do and find satisfaction doing- wether it be sports, martial arts, cooking, writing, drawing, acting, science, etc...and you have to project an attitude of love and respect for your body, so they can learn similar behavior.
Good Luck!

[DebraBaker]

If I end up writing a chapter in a book I apologize in advance.

I guess I need to go back to my mom or grandmom to create a context. My maternal grandmom was rather small. She naturally ate small portions (she was Irish and they seemed to eat less) My mother remembers being shocked when she became an older teenager and started going to resteraunts and seeing the huge portions. When she started dating my dad he ate tons of food and was thin and she, at first, couldn't keep up but eventually did.

After my brother (her thrid child) she didn't lose that last 5 or 10 lbs and my dad started giving her grief. She thought she was fat and we thought she was fat but looking at the photos she was slightly pudgey but nowhere near fat. She tried going on diets and would lose weight and gain it back plus a few more pounds to boot. She's now about 50-75lbs overweight with a heart condition.

My sister is aneroxic (my dad teased her for being pudgey when she was at that normal preadolecent stage whereupon girls tend to put on a few pounds to prepare the body for puberty) I was thin but always *felt* fat. I look at my teenaged pictures and cry thinking of how I always felt fat but was thin and healthy. Part of the problem is I'm tall for someone my age 5'8" and was comparing my weight and dress size to much shorter girls. I would ask some of them how they stayed so thin and they generally told me about speed (I being too afraid to take drugs, thank goodness)

After my fifth child I started putting on weight. I got quite overweight and after my last child (my eighth) I was about 180 lbs and was quite fat.

I started exercising and gently dieting. I lost 25lbs and have been maintaining my weight for the past year. (I'm 155)

DH and I went to a black tie function recently and I was shopping for a dress. I went with one of my older daughters and we couldn't choose between two dresses and purchased both and I took them home and tried them on for DH. He made a snotty comment about wearing a girdle because of my stomach (Jennifer said I looked terrific in the dress and she's honest) I was really upset and all the bad messages from my youth were revisited upon me. My oldest daughter just announced her engagement and my response was "I need to lose 15lbs before her wedding so I don't embarass her". (isn't that aweful?)

I realize that I repeated the cycle of my mother (but with some gumption not to get obese)

Part of the problem is my dh. He hates fat. He has a negative attitude against fat people. He's naturally thin (Note: he doesn't watch his diet, eats like a horse, doesn't exercise or participate in sports or physically work in his career he simply has inhereted his mother's hyper matabolism) He makes negative comments about fat people especially fat women.

Here's the bottom line...I have tried to focus upon healthy diet and being active. My children are all healthy sized (My son is more like me physically and dh tends to be negative about it but I give him grief and he isn't free to open his mouth and opine upon his negativity but even Jon is well within the healthy height and weight guidelines!) They are all active and healthy.

My daughters have especially good eating and activity. They are all vegetarians. They all eat as much as they want and never diet. They are on the thin side (likely a watered down version of their dad's metabolism) I don't think the cycle of poor body image has been passed down to them but I know I need to ease up on my own self crisicism or they may not have positive images of themselves when they have children and their bodies, ahem, soften.

Sorry for the novel.

Debra Baker