encouragement for 3yr old boy to TRY sounds

[mysweetfiona]

He is my 2nd son. I stopped comparing him to ds1 long ago. They are complete opposites. Here's a discription of the sweety: sensative, loud, shy, lets it all out immediately (nothing bottled up for sure), super sweet, endless imagination and speaks outloud his ideas.......if only we could understand him. *I* am the translater. Which is fine, I am glad to help him out. Of course, he gets dissappointed when we ask "what?". When this happens, I aske him to try to say this sound for the word ......, like "C" for cookie. He has the second "k", unless it is actually a "g" sound. It took and hour to help him to just try to say shhhh for shirt. Most words begin with "duh". It really is ok that he is still learning the way to make sounds. I just need to find a way to help him WANT to TRY, when I want to help him. I am sure he feels that he is put on the spot. We are as nice as we can be, hiding all impatience. Kids at the park say "what?", His dad says "what?", and on......


I am a little sad that he doesn't want to play and learn sounds. It was such a confidence booster and fun game for his big bro, and he was 100% understood by strangers by 19 months with full sentences. It is the process of learning that I am bothered by. DS#2 is reluctant to even try. He giggles out of nervousness. I reassure him lovingly that it is ok to sound different, he will get soon, etc.... But lets just TRY! It takes about an hour to get his first attempt to make a sound.

I've been told to let it go. Let him figure it out. I am concerned about his little ego being bruised. He is very smart and outspoken. I don't want everyone's "whats" to damper his spirit....ya know.

Ok, is there another way to encourage him? I've been explaining that kids talk in their own way, eventually being understood, etc...... I really need some tips, here. Has anyone been to a speach therapist? What do they do specificly that gets through? ***I am not trying to push him before he is ready, mind you, just curious how they do their job.****

Thanks for listening!
Lori

[A&A]

I would definitely recommend taking him to a speech therapist. We've been going for a couple of months now, and it really helps my son (who is almost 3). Ds goes in the room with the therapist, and I sit in the tiny observation room with a one-way mirror, so I can see what's going on but ds can't see me. (He knows where I am, though.)

Ds will pick out a game, usually a sticker game, or puzzle, or something. The therapist has a routine that ds knows -- the therapist will show ds some cards, and they work on saying sounds, and then ds can play with the game a little, and then back to the cards, etc.

The therapist is VERY good at articulating how to make sounds, and the therapist moves his mouth in just the right way when he makes sounds, so ds can see how to move his mouth, as well.

As well as having problems saying consonants, my ds also stutters, so the therapist is working with him on that, as well.

At the end of each session (1/2 hour per week), ds gets to pick a prize out of the prize box. He actually asks to go see Dr. H!

The fact that your son's language bothers HIM is a huge red flag that you and he need help.

The therapist we go to is $37 a week, but totally worth every penny. He told us that his goal is to have ds completely understood by everybody by the time he turns 4.

PS. Have you had his hearing tested? My son's hearing is normal (according to the test), but some kids with speech problems have hearing problems.

[katebleu]

try you local school district for speech therepy (even though your ds isn't school age). it helps them out to help children earlier rather than later. and it's covered by taxes you already pay.

[L.J.]

If you think there's something really wrong talk to someone. If not, you could just let him progress at his own rate.

My son needed me to interpret him until he was well past 4.5 years. Everyone told me he NEEDED speech therapy.....but I knew in my heart he would figure it out in time. He now speaks clearly and everyone can understand him. I let him progress at his own rate & he got it.

As for the self-esteem part, it's possible that having so many people say "what" to him, may actually frustrate or encourage him to speak so people do understand him better. It is also possible that pressuring him to speak more clearly may not be helpful. I know my oldest just freezes when anyone puts him on the spot and if he feels like he's accomplished something on his own, he's way more excited to share it than if I encourage him to "do it my way."

Use your mom instincts to know if he just needs more time or professional help.
Good luck.

[A&A]

Originally Posted by katebleu

try you local school district for speech therepy (even though your ds isn't school age). it helps them out to help children earlier rather than later. and it's covered by taxes you already pay.

But you get what you pay for.

The school system has dedicated, but seriously overworked, speech therapists. One particular district here has been advertising a position for a speech therapist for over a year and a half.

If you have the money, I'd suggest paying a private therapist. But if you don't, by all means go with the school therapist--that will be better than nothing.

I would suggest at least getting his hearing tested and talking to a therapist. I can't tell you how much my son's language has improved in just two months of therapy. Yes, it may have improved anyway by the time he was 5 or 6, but I may have saved him from two or three years of language frustration, which completely makes therapy worth it. And he considers it play time, so he likes going there, as well.

[SquirelNutkin]

Both my kids have are in speech therapy ( and both my partner and I were as kids, so its no surprise!)
Our school district was great, but my daughter did out grow the work they do. It was great to have her evaluated at age 3 for free. My son is in the city program since he is under 3- also something you should have in your area- and that is were I see overworked, pressured speech therapist. So I also take him to a private therapist (which your helath insurance may cover)

At a young age, oral motar skills may be an easy excercise. Google it and you can find some things. Basically, things like picking up cherrios with his tongue, moving a sucker from side to side in his mouth. SOme therapist are more into the theroy that its all based on mouth muscles than others.

A therapist can tell you what sounds he is no making, and which ones he should be by now. Also if he is deleted syllables, and subsituting sounds. SOme kids arent intelligeible but also arent doing any of the above things, so dont qualify for speech therapy and do work it out. If I had waited with my daughter- she would be a 6 year old with nearly no ablility to be udnerstood, and highly frustrated. So kids have a wide range, and i think only a speech therapist can determine where on that range your child is.

I really think getting an evalutation is important because speech problems can seriously impact reading skills soon. Basically, if a child cant hear themselves make the "sss" sound, how can they associate that with the image of S? Thats already a hard leap for a kid to make, no need to make it harder.

Just a personal note- I am not usually a go ask the experts, or the experts know better type person- but I ahve read so much, and talked to so many, and worked with my own kids- and think for my kids it was a neccesity, and that more kids should be evaluated- and then let parents make an informed choice about what path to take.

Goodluck
b

[A&A]

Also, kids are more likely to have behavior problems if they are really frustrated about not being able to be understood.

[mysweetfiona]

I am glad to hear that my concern is understood. I read somewhere about a little girl's ear/s appeared to be clear, when indeed was so full that it affected her hearing. If it is as simple as having his ears tested and cleaned up, that would be a relief-----in a way. We will see.....or hear, is more accurate! :LOL

I appreciate the advice and will use it. We just relocated to a WONDERFUL town. So, I have many phone calls to make starting with insurance. New job doesn't cover the family.

***still listening, if you have more to say***

Thanks again!
Lori
MOM OF 3!

[~*max*~]

Hi Lori. to you and your little boy. My ds, now 5 1/2, also had some speech delays. We tried the school department first - disaster! (Not to say that all are of course, but our situation was really horrible.) Then I hired a private speech therapist who came to our home, insurance even covered it, and it was sooooo helpful! Ds really enjoyed it too. The therapist worked w/ds and gave me ideas of how to help him at home - crucial IMO, since that is where is he is most of the time.

It took us a long time to figure out that my ds actually had food allergies that were effecting his ability to learn & pay attention, and his overall behavior. Now that his allergies are under control, he is doing so well and totally functioning on an age appropriate level. His speech is now excellent.

So, all this to say, go w/your gut. Don't give up. And if what the "professionals" are saying does not seem right, keep looking. I discovered the allergies on my own, after seeking help from numerous professionals who had no idea what ds needed. Sometimes, most times, mama just knows best.