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Smoking - Page 2

post #21 of 37
Originally Posted by Dragonfly
Sorry to serial post, but just wanted to say that I also used to think that my parents' smoking was disgusting. It didn't stop me from eventually starting and smoking for a very long time.

My brother, on the other hand, has never smoked a cigarette.

It's a crap shoot. I wouldn't want to take the chance.
Same here. My mom quit smoking when I was 5 because I kept telling her bad she smelled. I thought it was NASTY. I knew all the facts on smoking… Knew that cancer and emphysema (watched my grandmother die of emphysema) were VERY real possibilities. At 11 I started smoking and continued to smoke 2 packs a day until I quit cold turnkey for my pregnancy.

It doesn’t really matter how smart kids are and they can understand every horrible fact of smoking, they can still pick up that nasty habit.
post #22 of 37
Originally Posted by Alkenny
Same here...both of his parents were smokers, and 5 of the 6 kids are/were too.

Niether of my parents smoked, and 2 of the 3 of us do (not me!) as do both of my stepsisters but niether of my half sisters...hmmmm...

It's interesting to me how it comes out in the end, because it's seems so up in the air. I think that this might be one of those issues about some people being hardwired/predisposed to addiction... at least in part.

Dh's father smoked but not his mother. Out of their 6 children 3 smoked (two long term... one is my Dh) and 3 didn't.
post #23 of 37
Dh was a smoker when I met him, and has tried many times to quit. He now smokes cigars (one a day) which he somehow thinks are preferable to cigarettes. The kids are ALWAYS asking him to quit, but it doesn't seem to register. Yesterday, he got a stressful phone call from work. He was agitated and angry, and immediately reached for his cigar, saying it would help him calm down. I was angry, and after the kids went to bed I told him so. I think it sends a crappy, damaging, and very harmful message to the kids -- whenever I have feelings I can't figure out, I'll just take this drug to make me feel better. I told him that he is no longer allowed to smoke in front of them at all, ever. I know quitting is hard, but lots of things in life are difficult, and we do them anyways. Both of my parents were smokers, and I remember crying myself to sleep, thinking that if they loved me enough, they would quit. Maybe not rational, but kids have their own sense of rationality.
post #24 of 37
First off I wanted to offer you a hug because anytime you are dealing with the trying to smoke issue, you need support.

I quit several years ago using Zyban, I was all good for about 2 years then hit a pocket of serious stress and fell off the wagon and started up again. Well and I am not sharing this story to scare you but in the summer of 2003 my Mom who was 49 was diagnosed with lung cancer- she had been smoking since she was 11. She ended up going through chemo/surgery and radiation and 8 mos after she was diagnosed she passed last February, 4 days after turning 50. I smoked the entire time we were dealing with her illness but I promised both myself and her that when everything was over I would quit smoking for good. She had quit right before being diagnosed, talk about irony.

Anyway a couple of months after her passing, I went got back on the Zyban but this time I used Wellbutrin since I was depressed and immediately cutdown on the smoking. Long story short I quit and I am now pregnant with my second child, my son is 13 and when my Mom first passed he was so upset and afraid that I would die early because of smoking. It wasn't until her passing that I realized just how much of an effect our smoking has on our kids even when we think it doesn't.

I am now pregnant with the granddaughter my Mom & I often talked about yet it hurts so much to know she will never see this baby. I know how hard it is to quit but death by lung cancer is hard and I want to avoid such a fate at all costs. Death is a certainty in this life but I would like to live long enough to see my kids grow up and see my grandbabies as well.

I should also add I started smoking at 14 and when I was younger I too had no desire to smoke, however in all fairness my brother who is now 24 has never smoked and probably never will. So yes, some kids choose never to do it but I think you increase the likelihood of having kids who smoke if you smoke. Ultimately only you can decide how to proceed but I wish you luck!
post #25 of 37
My parents both came from smoking parents, and both took up smoking. Last summer, I watched my grandfather die from multiple myeloma, and I begged my dad to not put me through the pain of watching him suffer from cancer. He decided to quit smoking, and has been free from cigarettes for almost a month now. It was the greatest gift I think he could give me.

Sorry, didn't mean to turn this into a me-fest, but even if your child doesn't take up smoking, there is still the potential for something very bad to happen to you. I'm not a smoker, so I can't say, "I know what it feels like to quit,"- I don't. But from the position of a child who has watched someone they love VERY much suffer, please, PLEASE consider what this might be doing to your child emotionally. You can quit.

Best of luck to you in whatever you decide.
post #26 of 37
I have a little bit of a different take on this. I think that if you are considering quitting only for your child's sake, you will most likely fail. Quitting smoking is a life changing decision that you can only make for yourself. If your child benefits from this, great, but I believe you have to make the decision to do it for yourself.

My father smoked the entire time I was growing up (he quit last year after 42 years) and my older sister started when she was 12. I started when I was 14 (and quit 3 years ago after 10 years of smoking.) I definitely think having my father and sister smoke made it seem "okay" to me. I also knew the dangers of smoking, but I didn't plan on smoking either. I honestly didn't think I would become addicted (boy, was I wrong.) I started smoking when I decided to try it and I liked it. So I continued and was addicted in a matter of days.

As for quitting, I made up my mind to do so (and by this, I mean I CONVINCED myself that I was going to succeed.) I set a date and made a deal with my sister that we would do it together. (She started again about 2 months later and is still smoking.) I went cold turkey. This was the only way for me. Aids wouldn't help as the habit was my main addiction, not the nicotine (although that was still tough to overcome.) I smoked when I was upset, but mainly I smoked all the time, because it was a habit and I had nothing better to do.

Hang in there and keep trying. It takes most smokers MANY tries to successfully quit. There were 3 different times that I quit for 3 months, then started again. I was finally successful after about 5 tries. I know if I were to have a cigarette today, I would be smoking a full pack tomorrow. I can't have even one. It is so worth it to quit. I am so much healthier and feel so much better than I did for years.

Think carefully about why you want to quit and come up with a plan. If it doesn't work, try a different approach. Keep trying until you're successful. Good luck!
post #27 of 37
Both of my parents smoked. I had my first at 11, and was a regular smoker by age 13. I quit at age 26, and have been smoke free for 7 years. (now you know how old I am)

When I first started smoking, none of my friends smoked, and I hid it from them. It was purely based on modeling after my parents' behaviour.

I miss smoking often. I am jealous of smokers. But I don't want my kids to grow up with it. Smoking is not common where we live now, and my son barely knows what smoking is (he's 4).

I hope you can quit, mostly for you, but also for your son.

post #28 of 37
both of my parents smoked my entire life. My sister and I complained about the smoke all the time (especially in the car). We are not smokers and never took it up. I tried it at 17, didn't like it. So there's no guarantee your son will start.

My mom died young (45) and while it was not directly smoking-related, her smoking did play a role in her general subpar health. My dad quit smoking after 40+ years (!!!) because he was scared he might have throat cancer...and he did. He's been cancer free (and smoke free) for 3 years now though.

Everyone I know who has quit says it's the hardest thing they've ever done but was so worth it.
post #29 of 37
Quitting is really hard, there's no question about it. But it is not impossible. Most of the adults I know are ex-smokers, including myself, dh, my mother, my brothers (two out of three - the other never smoked) and quite a few friends.

I smoked on and off for about 27 years starting at age 11. (With mom's cigarettes, and also grandma's - grandma was less likely to notice an entire pack missing from her carton.) I quit several times, once for a year, once for three years. The last time, I quit during one of the most stressful times of my life, and I fully believe that was the key to quitting forever (it's now been ten and a half years). All the other times, I went back because a stressful situation came up and I relieved the stress by smoking "one", only to be unable to stop at one. (That happened repeatedly.) But this time, I knew I could get through the hard times without cigarettes, and that kept me going. Also, the "just one" thing had happened so many times that I could no longer ignore that it would never be "just one".

Good luck! I'm sure you can do it. It's really hard, but the rewards are countless.
post #30 of 37
I remember as a kid, I used to take the black plastic pipe from my Mr. Potato Head and pretend to smoke it, just like my dad. When his workplace no longer permitted pipe smoking, he switched to cigarettes and I used to make my own from construction paper so I could be grown-up, just like him. I think I would have been more likely to pick up the habit if it didn't make me so sick. All the secondhand smoke caused numerous bouts of bronchitis and ear infections, so I never bothered to smoke (except for once).
I don't know if this is what you were hoping to hear -- it's just my experience of growing up with a smoker.
post #31 of 37
Originally Posted by tug

when i was 27, my non-smoking mother died of lung cancer caused by my father's chain smoking for 25 years
I think this is an important point. If you smoke around your son, then he is already smoking--through you. My heavy-smoking grandmother died last year after 5+ years with severe emphysemia--watching her suffer was both sobering and profoundly frustrating--she had no other medical problems, so the last 10+ years of her life, she probably would have been healthy and mobile, had it not been for the cigarettes. My grandfather died when my mom was 22, of a heart attack. We don't know for sure if it was smoking related--but given that he smoked several packs a day, I wouldn't be surprised. It is terribly painful to my mom that I never got a chance to know him, because (as she says) we are very much alike. I'm very fearful for my own mom. Although she never smoked, both of her parents were 2+ pack-a-day smokers and all their friends smoked. At their weekly card games, my mom says, the smoke was so thick you couldn't even see the faces at the table. I pray that my mom doesn't develop lung cancer as a result of all the second-hand smoke she was subjected to.
post #32 of 37
Just wanted to say I totally agree with the second hand smoke point. Your son is already exposed to it. It's already making his body sick. He doesn't have to start smoking for that to happen.

My parents didn't smoke when I was growing up. I did smoke a few cigarettes in high school, but nothing serious. My DS's dad's parents smoke a lot. DS's dad does too. Because of all the dangers of second hand smoke I now have a court order saying that ex is not allowed to A) bring DS in a car that someone has been smoking in (including his car because he refuses to stop smoking in it), B) bring DS into a house, any house- including his, that someone has been smoking in, and C) is not allowed to smoke around DS or allow anyone else to smoke around him. Now some may say that is an overreaction but he does not have the power/voice to stand up and say he doesn't want to be around second hand smoke. My job, as his parent, is to keep him healthy. I will not allow someone, anyone, to screw up his chances of having a healthy life. If he wants to smoke when he's an adult and out of my house fine, I won't stop him (strongly discourage it, but not stop him).
post #33 of 37
has anyone tried this?
Easy way to stop smoking

I'll admit I haven't ever smoked, but I have read the Easy Way to Stop Smoking and it is how my ex stopped.
post #34 of 37
Both of my parents smoke a pack a day. They have for as long as I can remember. I have never, ever tried a cigarette. My sister smokes. I think she started because she is a people pleaser and a pushover and did whatever her friends told her to do to fit in. I personally find smoking to be disgusting.
Hearing my dad practically hack up a lung every morning as a child/teen I knew that I never wanted to get to that point. I could hear him outside as I waited for the bus at the end of my driveway.
post #35 of 37
Here's an FYI: Zyban/Wellbutrin is a very different medication than Zoloft. While Wellbutrin and Zoloft are both used for depression, they don't work the same. The each focus on different chemicals in the brain. Zoloft won't help you quit smoking. You can, however, add Wellbutrin daily with Zoloft if you are interested in using it to quit smoking. They can be taken in tandem.
post #36 of 37
I grew up in a home where my dad smoked daily in front of us. My uncles did too. Mom never did. I hated it. It stunk and I thought it was gross. I also took the anti smoking lessons to heart while in school. I have pulled a Clinton before and held a cigarette, but never inhaled! :LOL

My brother, on the other hand, is a smoker. Mostly a stress smoker, but a smoker non the less. My dad did the whole "don't do this" speech regarding why it wasn't good and my brother also had all the same antismoking lessons I did. One of us started smoking, the other never did.
post #37 of 37
Originally Posted by famousmockngbrd
My mom, on the other hand, smokes around him all the time. DS idolizes her and it really bums me out that she does this. The other day, he picked up the cap to a marker and held it in his mouth like a cigarette, and said he had a "cigarette butt like Grammy." I mentioned it to her but she still smokes around him. I'm not quite sure what to do about it. Sorry to go off on a tangent - just meant to say that it does have an effect on the kids.

We have the exact same situation. There are two things that break my heart about our situation. First of all, my mom LIVES with us, so dd is exposed continuously to this behavior. My dd, too, has "immitated" yaya with sticks or pencils. The other is that although mom smokes outside, it's all over her and the smell is horrible.

To the OP - I hope you can quit if you want to!! My mom has been smoking for 50 years (she's now 64 and started when she was a young teen) and she talks often that she wished she'd tried to quit when she was younger because she would like to quit now, and can't.
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