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Why Do You Work? - Page 5

post #81 of 109
I'm a single mom with no support from dd bio dad. I work so we have a place to live, food, and all that stuff.

My soon to be fiance though is trying to get into realestate and then I might get to stay at home and go back to school to be a midwife! Just crossing my fingers now!
post #82 of 109
Originally Posted by aprilushka
but with me being in the breadwinner position I need something that pays more and is more stable, where you won't get screwed tomorrow if you lose your big clients to circumstances beyond your control. In the end, working from home would be more stress on the family and more time consuming and I don't think I would actually have more time with my kids and what time I would have would be more stress-filled. My parents went through a string of not very successful small businesses (the stress of which I often experienced along with them) and I have to say I like being taken care of by a big employer, in this case a gov't agency.
What you are describing is one reason I want to go back to work, this is dh's life as a freelance writer/editor, he makes more freelancing than he would at any publications in the area since his clients are based in other parts of the country but he is always working. He is already possibly losing 1 of his larger clients and replacing that client is not easy. Sometimes he is working around the clock because as I have learned when you are self employed you always are on client time.

There is a lot of comfort in at least 1 partner having a traditional job with benefits.

post #83 of 109
* deleted.
post #84 of 109
I currently work full time and although I really enjoy my job, I can't wait to wean myself off the workplace--soon! I've been saving up my money the last couple years so I can become a stay at home mom (OK, I'm really getting a head start...I'm not even pregnant with our first yet, but I hope to be REALLY SOON!)
post #85 of 109
1. I work to keep my skills current and my earnings consquently are higher than if I took some years off. If my husband were to die, become disabled, or divorce me, I would be able to provide for my daughters. My father died when I was 10, leaving my mother with 4 kids and no job skills. It was not fun. I don't want my kids to ever experience that.

2. My father worked overtime every night and every Saturday. I would have given anything for him to work less, so that I could have seen more of him. I will not deprive my kids of their father's time so that I can monopolise the time we can spend with them.

3. I truly believe that one of the reasons my father died so young of a heart attack was from overwork. I love my husband and my kids to much to risk losing him.

4. I enjoy my work, and my co-workers.
post #86 of 109
I work because:

1. I like my work. I spent a lot of time and energy just before and after DS was born figuring out what I wanted to do with my law degree. I left my old job, took a new position, and love what I do now. I work 25-30 hours a week, and my colleagues are extremely supportive.

2. I feel good about using my education. I'm still paying off the loans, so I'm happy that my degrees are helping me make some money and do good.

3. I like that I get a break from the selflessness and demands of mothering. Being the mother I want to be is waaaay harder for me than going to work. When I know that my time with DS is somewhat limited, I have more energy and patience.

4. I like that DH gets to spend a lot of time with DS. If I didn't work, DH would probably have to spend more time commuting to a more stressful job with longer hours.

5. I like that DH and I are modeling to DS a partnership of equals, two parents who are both devoted to DS and committed to thoughtful parenting, but who also have interests and skills outside the home.

6. Money. If I really wanted to stay home, I think DH and I would work on a plan to make that happen. I thought initially that I wanted to stay home, but after six months as a SAHM, I was thrilled to go back to work.
post #87 of 109
1. I like working. I stayed at home with DD for several months after she was born and as much as I love her I missed my work. I like 98% of my co-workers and I can tolerate our department head. Call me weird but I like being away from the home for part of the day. When I come back I appreciate what I have at home so much more. When I was at home with DD I felt lonely and isolated. I connect with the moms at work and I have a support group there. If I'm at home all day with the baby I think I would be unhappy though I feel terrible typing that.

2. Our goals. We want to retire early. We want to take a good vacation every now and then. By good I don't mean a 4-star hotel or a resort. That's not my style nor could we afford that even with both of us working. I mean going to a foreign country or doing something unusual. We want send DD to a private school and tuition is nearly $7,000 - $10,000 in some schools we've looked at. There's no way we could do all those things plus pay our mortgage, DH's student loan, and regular monthly expenses if I didn't work. This is going to sound like I'm bragging but I think it's relevant to the question. I make twice as much as DH. It would make less of a dent on our income if he didn't work but he likes his job so I wouldn't ask him to give it up.

3. My goals. I went to grad school in order to do my job. I've invested much in my education to give it up after a few years.

4. I like contributing to the family income. I get a great sense of satisfaction from knowing that I'm not depending on DH for everything. It takes the burden off him since he doesn't have to be the sole provider. He can work for a non-profit for half of what he could make at another place because I work also.

Edited to say that my mother watches DD so I'm very lucky in that respect.
post #88 of 109
bump - because it's a good thread!
post #89 of 109
1. Because I was actively wooed back to work by my old boss (different position, though). The opportunity fell in my lap.

2. Because things had been extremely financially tight and we really needed to make some major purchases (mostly house repair) that could not be made on DH's salary alone. We had spent through most of our "cushion" and I was perpetually in a state of low-level anxiety about money.

3. Because DD and I were in a rut in our relationship and I felt we needed some space apart. This could have been accomplished with PT preschool, but we could not afford preschool on DH's salary. I was also just feeling burned out on SAHMing.

4. To keep my skills current and to allow me to save for retirement, as we had not been putting anything away for me during my time as a SAHM (DH"s job contributes automatically).

I enjoy my job, but right now my IDEAL situation would be for me to work half-time.
post #90 of 109
I work because I love what i do and I'm good at what I do. (I'm a zookeeper) I have known since I was a kid that I would always work to help animals and while I'm not a fan of zoos at all I know that I am giving the animals that are stuck there the best life possible. Ideally I hope to be working in a sanctuary someday, hopefully for elephants but we'll see how that goes.
I grew up around wildlife and would like DS to do the same. I love every second I get to spend with my family but my job is very important to me and keeps me sane, physically and mentally fit, and helps me to recharge. I have so much respect for those of you that stay or work at home, its just not for me.
post #91 of 109
I don't have any new reasons to add. However, I want to say that I like the idea of part-time work the best. I think that would give me the best of both worlds. I'd still have an income and be able to save for retirement while having more time for DD. I HAVE arranged my schedule so I have lots of time with DD. I work from home and that means I have more time with her in the afternoons!

I also think it's important for women to have their own money.
post #92 of 109
Originally Posted by jmhammond View Post
So I work because I have been uniquely gifted and have a desire to be an attorney, and feel like it would be ungrateful of me to not fulfill this call on my life. I don't mean to get all religious here, but it's just an important part of my decision. I work so my husband can stay home b/c we value having a parent at home with our kid(s).
What a beautiful post. I'm not religious and I liked it.
post #93 of 109
how did i never answer this post? i work for many reasons. first, we need the $. i bring in more than 50% of our income & we have lots of expenses (as well as my extensive student loans).

2nd. i'm good at what i do & take great pride in my work. i actively help people every day & that feels great.

3rd. i'd be a lousy SAHM if we did have the $ for me to stay home. there would be no choice- dh would have to be the sahd if one of us were to stay home. i'm nutty after a few days with dd!
post #94 of 109
Originally Posted by ShadowMoon View Post
I work because I love what i do and I'm good at what I do. (I'm a zookeeper) I have known since I was a kid that I would always work to help animals and while I'm not a fan of zoos at all I know that I am giving the animals that are stuck there the best life possible. Ideally I hope to be working in a sanctuary someday, hopefully for elephants but we'll see how that goes.
I grew up around wildlife and would like DS to do the same. I love every second I get to spend with my family but my job is very important to me and keeps me sane, physically and mentally fit, and helps me to recharge. I have so much respect for those of you that stay or work at home, its just not for me.

Hey cool! Are you @ Roger Williams Zoo in Providence? I am a rather frequent visitor there - family pass and all that. Just last week I watched a monkey in the monkey house mischeviously pull a hair elastic off of a ponytailed zookeeper's head.

Sorry - back to your regularly scheduled thread.

(PS - I think I responded to this thread months ago when it was new. Mainly I work for financial reasons - we could not swing things on DH's salary alone. I also carry the health bennies for the family. Would love to be at home - my true calling I feel. However, that said, I am good at my job, help a lot of people and families with my work, and am good at it.)
post #95 of 109
I'm also the lone breadwinner... I have more earning power than DH, and my job has better benefits and is much more family friendly than any job he could get. I'd rather stay at home, but I was raised to be self-sufficient, which is what happened I do enjoy my job mostly, and I've worked hard to have a career, but I'd love to stay at home and focus on mom and wife things... I know that DH would be much unhappier than I if he were working... so that's the trade-off. Luckily I don't have to work full time now (I'm working 20 hours a week), so I feel fortunate there.
post #96 of 109
I work from home...because I have to. I have a business and I do freelance work. I've been a "telecommuter" for the last 4 years or so.

It's really hard to balance work & kids at the same location, but we're doing it!
post #97 of 109
I stay at my not so interesting job because of health insurance.

I also now work so my dh can stay home with the kids. I already had a higher paying job than him (and good benefits and insurance) so it was logical for him to stop working instead of me.
post #98 of 109
I work because I love my work. I don't particularly like my current job but the work keeps me coming back. I am a social scientist who coordinates policy oriented studies to impact the well-being of disadvantaged populations in the US and around the world. I have wanted this kind of job since I was in high school. I went to grad school and rushed through it to get to work in the real world. I specifically wanted an applied position as opposed to academia. I love making the contribution to improving people's lives without exploiting other people to do it. I love working to make the world a better place for my children to live. I am underpaid and sometimes I don't even bill my time. My supervisor is arrogant and insecure. But I don't work for him or the money. I work for my own personal goal. And I'm darn good at what I do. I know I'll get promoted and make more money when my kids are older and I have more time to devote to the job. Right now, it works for me to be in my junior position and have the flexibility to be home with my DH and kids for dinner every night.
post #99 of 109
Because I have no excuse not to wake up in the morning.

I work and am finishing my degree at the same time and I love that my current job gives me the real life applications of what I am studying and that I have flex time and control over my schedule. I work heading up a well established non-for-profit that provides services that I believe in and I like putting my writing, finance and admin skills to work for the families we serve. I am lucky enough to be able to do some work from home, vary my hours and play hooky all or most of Fridays (even though it means late night telecommuting ) so I do enjoy lots of time with my son. In a few years perhaps I will want something different but for right now I 100% confident that this is this is the best possible mix for me, my spouse and my child. If we were not buying a house, we could comfortably afford to have me at home full-time but then I would be unhappy and we would still be living in this apartment. I want a garden and a sandbox, dang it.

My son is far happier in pt preschool (15-20 hours per week)and a mix of mama/daddy/grandparent time than he would be with me all day.
post #100 of 109
I was originally "pre-med" in college ... until I met DH and got all prego. We have been *extremely* poor for our entire relationship. Electricity getting shut-off regularly and all that ... as soon as I found-out I was pregnant my first thought was "YAHOO!!!" and my second thought was "I'm going to nursing school." At the time, DH was an immigrant with no "right to work" legally, and I was working minimum wage. I grew-up really freakin' poor, and always vowed my kids would not have the same experience.

At first, nursing school was NOT what I wanted to do AT ALL. It felt like a sacrifice I was making for my family's sake (as in, not following my dream of becoming a Dr.), so I could be a good provider to them. Since then, I've fallen in love with nursing, I think it's what I was meant to do (and I think Dr.s are twirps j/k!). I still plan to become a Dr - in the long-term, I want to persue a doctorate in nursing. For now, I'm graduating from nursing school this May (YIPEE!!), and I'll get out there and get some great experience before continuing on in my nursing education while I work. So, it all started out for financial stability which I could solely provide to my family, but now it's an intellectual persuit which I find highly rewarding. I look forward to setting an example for my son (and future children) as a person who works hard and contributes to my community through my career. (Making a contribution to one's community is a value high on my list of Things to Teach the Kiddo.)
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