Originally Posted by G&B'sMama
I know I am probably opening a big can of worms here… but I am a native Washingtonian and have lived in a couple different parts of the country. The west coast, and Seattle in particular, is very different than other places I know. It is difficult to make friends here- I found this out when I moved back home after living in CA for four years. All my high school and college friends had moved on. At best you will get politeness from most people, but often times people just ignore you. I am not saying this is right or wrong, but it is what happens here. Not everyone is like this, of course, but in general there seems to be an attitude that may seem indifferent if you are from someplace that tends to be more warm and welcoming.
I'm in PDX, and I have definitely found this to be true! I moved back here after living in NYC for most of my adult life. I find in general that people here tend to be more polite than NYers, but less friendly. In NY I had been pretty hooked in with other parents in my neighborhood...other parents in my apartment building went out of their way to welcome me, gave me their kid's outgrown clothes (and I did the same), we exchanged phone numbers. The same thing would happen at the tot lot. The kids would play together and the parents would chat, even if we had been complete strangers.
When I first got here, I took Sprogly to a playground. I found that other parents with toddlers would hustle their kids away when we approached a play structure. I'd try to start a conversation, and we'd get as far as our kids' ages, and then they'd gather up the kid and leave. I was surprised and hurt...it was so different.
As a generalization, I think there's something to it. But of course it is
a generalization, so it's not true of everyone
out here. It's just a different culture, I suppose, I've got to figure out how it works, and get used to it.
To the OP, I've often found that often I don't get the warm response I was hoping for here at MDC. I don't fit in perfectly here--I vaxed my son and don't regret it, had him in a hospital, induced, with an epidural (it wasn't at all what I wanted, but I was scared of a homebirth, and my birthing center closed a week before I had him). I'm a single mom, unemployed now, but basically full-time WOHM and sole breadwinner.
But then, I guess I fit in better here than on mainstream boards...and I do get a lot of good ideas here, and a lot of reinforcement for my parenting choices, which I don't get anywhere else, at least right now. So, I take what I like and leave the rest. I'd really like to find a real community, but who knows, maybe it's one of those things you're more likely to find when you're not looking for it.