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Killer Mei Tai Experience at Sushi Restaurant - Page 11

post #201 of 212
Originally Posted by Selu Gigage
Angela, I must say this last post has helped me to see something... even if it was not the glass. :
What did you see???

Are you seeing dead people again???

: (6th sense....... : )
post #202 of 212
Past_VNE, what a great experience that must have been. I would have been warmed from head to toe after that conversation! I never used any sort of sling with my first - didn't learn about them until it was too late. Now I already have two maya wraps in the ready for the new babe. Thanks to reading your story, I also want to get a Mei Tei (sp?). Thanks!
post #203 of 212
Originally Posted by UrbanPlanter
so, here are the descriptors which paint the stereotypical picture:
- older asian man
- beautiful accent
- quotes of broken english
- "gestures"

and then... the grand finale...

gawd, this just harkens back to that laundry detergent commercial of the 70's where the Asian laundryman says he has an "anciant chinese secret".

this story could have been relayed in a much less stereotypical/offensive way, just stating that an asian man who is familiar with the meitei carrier was impressed that we were using one bc he never sees them in america, and so on, and how lovely he was in the conversation... whatever.

do I make any sense? yawn.........
EXCEPT that THIS is what this man did and said.. She was using HIS WORDS and gestures as HE used them.. She RELAYED a STORY as it HAPPENED TO HER..

Normally I would agree with you.. I don't see it here..

I thought it was an endearing story..

I have gotten comments on my sling from a woman from South Africa who said it was very similiar to how they carried their babies there, and from interestingly enough, an older asian lady who works at.. Ok here I got ethinically stereotyping.. PANDA EXPRESS!!!

She also said that it looked very similiar to the baby carries they used.. All smiles like she was reminiscing about either a)when her children were little or b) when she was a child herself..

Simply because a person who is of an ethnicity doing something that has been stereotyped FOR that ethnicity and is related by written word using their EXACT words does NOT make it stereotypical..

The OP was NOT talking about ALL the asian people who say this to her, or who may speak this way..

She is relaying a story about a specific man who used THESE words, and used THESE gestures in THIS way with an accent (and here may be the only thing that could even been deemed stereotypical) that is usually recognized as asian..

Warm Squishy Feelings..
post #204 of 212
Originally Posted by guerrillamama
I think you are stereotyping and exotifying Asian people, and it's not cool. Our accents and culture are not cutesy knicknacks for the amusement of white people. Your post really really bugged me.
post #205 of 212
Wow. I don't post here very often, and was referred from another board, but this has been blown so far out of context I'm surprised some of you can still see the ground.

The OP was trying to tell a sweet, enlightening story. She used colorful language to describe what happened. It would not have had the same charm had she used the dull, lifeless language someone else used a few pages back. That was boring, and frankly, I don't think it made the point nearly as well as the OP did.

People are all different. If I went to France and used my (bad) French to compliment someone, it would not bother me in the least to have them copy my words in a post such as this. Indeed, I would be disappointed to find that they had cleaned it up, especially if it was my words that had touched them in the first place -- that I was paying them a compliment despite my incomplete knowledge of their language.

This is probably not going to go over well, but it seems to me that many people are eager to find excuses to be offended. I'm an atheist, and for a long time, I took it negatively and personally if someone dared to say "Bless you!" when I sneezed (how dare they!). I found it personally offensive if they said something off-hand about how Canadians are all (fill in the blank), being that I was born in Canada. I became a Christian for a while, and then found endless examples of persecution against my new-found religion.

Was any of this warranted? No. Was it helpful to me or those around me? No. All it did was engender bad feelings all around. I'm not "blaming the victim" here, because in retrospect, there was no victim. Not everything people say has to be taken personally. Not every comment involving someone of a different nationality says "I'm a racist!" Not every perceived slight is actually meant as one. And while there is a great deal of racism in this world, *quoting* a person's speech in an online forum is not in itself a racist act.

Take a deep breath, step back, and look at it without an expectation of offense. It makes a big difference.
post #206 of 212
I don't usually get involved with these kind of threads, since I don't post here a lot, but I've been musing over this all day ...

I'm Italian-American. A significant portion of my relatives are immigrants or still live in Italy. If the OP had related the same story, except she was in an Italian restaurant, and had related the broken English used by an Italian immigrant, I would not have been at all offended, unless it was done maliciously or mockingly. I didn't pick that up at all here.

I love my relatives. They almost all speak broken English, to varying degrees. When I relate stories about them, or write about them, I try to capture their language as it is spoken; I don't edit it for grammatical correctness or proper pronunciation. That's not who they are. Their usage of the language, however improper or "stereotypical" is part of what makes them unique and beautiful. To correct their language for them doesn't just flatten their character and personality, it's actually a bit insulting.

If my Zia (aunt) says to me, "Oh, dio, che bella bambina! She want a sangwich?" and I want to write that down in my journal or as part of a story, I'm not going to write, "My, what a lovely baby. May I make her a sandwich?" That makes her sound like a completely different person, even changes her personality. It would leach her ethnicity, which is a big part of her, completely away.

I don't know; I would like to think that if the shoe were on the other foot, and my relatives found my broken Italian charming, they would feel free to share that as part of MY personality and not feel like they had to pretend I'm not an American because it would be stereotyping.

Now, if someone giggled at my father, who looks Italian but has perfect English diction, and related his language to reflect a thick immigrant-speak, THAT would be stereotyping. If someone looked at him and said, "I bet he's in the mob and loves capicolla," THAT would be stereotyping. If someone related my aunt's speech, not as she actually speaks it, but made it up to sound more "Italian," THAT would be stereotyping.

I guess what I'm saying is that it's not stereotyping to portray someone as they are. Would we be having this discussion if the OP were describing a Texan twang, or a Boston accent, or Long Island talk?
post #207 of 212
The fact that this man was of a marginalized ethnicity, and the OP is of apparently of the marginalizING ethnicity, changes the context dramatically.

Or, to put it differently, there is a big difference between being caricatured as the tough cowboy character in a John Wayne movie, and caricatured as the Asian neighbor in "Breakfast at Tiffany's".
post #208 of 212
for heaven's sake, people.

i'm joining the dissenters. i really enjoyed VNE's op.

maybe you see it as stereotypical because you know that old asian men are like that and you are all so afraid of being politically incorrect that you don't want to admit it? :

Pynki hit the nail on the head. "THIS is what this man did and said.. She was using HIS WORDS and gestures as HE used them.. She RELAYED a STORY as it HAPPENED TO HER.. " <-- yes, that.
post #209 of 212
what's next, is the PC crowd here going to try to ban the Joy Luck Club because Amy Tan wrote about asian people like this?

post #210 of 212
Wow! I can't believe this is still going on...

post #211 of 212
Originally Posted by Jenne
Wow! I can't believe this is still going on...

Me either....
post #212 of 212
This discussion has been taken way off topic. The sarcasm posted is extremely inappropriate and does nothing to advance the discussion in a positive direction. Our User Agreement specifically asks members to avoid using sarcasm when posting so a few of you are in violation of that.

For those of you who wish to discuss the general topic of stereotype and racism, please do so in TAO with a new thread or in posting to one of the several existing threads of the past.

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