Originally Posted by BelovedK
Thanks Kim, You definately are well informed. I think i will talk to his DR about Depacote, hopefullt it can be chewed. DS will chew the nastiest stuff(just not fish oil :LOL ) just not swallow. I see that as a big obstacle.
I think i will hop over to that thread in mental health (didn't even know there was a forum for mental health.)
I will also write more later when i have more time , we are on our way to visit their father for his day.
Happy fathers day , all of you dads (if ther are any here)
Depakote can't be chewed because it can eat away the lining of the stomach and cause digestive/gastric problems. They do make Depakote Sprinkles though that can go on food that they normally use for adults and children who cannot swallow. I am very fortunate that since my son has been on medications (age of 3) he will swallow all of them!
While I think Depakote is wonderfulm its not right for everyone, there are other drugs out there that can stabilize mood for children that are not as powerful. This was our last choice before Lithium or hospitalization, and our psychiatrist was hesitant to do it because he had patients die on it. I have to say its hard taking a risk with a med you know has killed people, but when you think about the suicide rate in bipolar males, even in children, its scarey. Children also have little impulse control and when you are thinking of your child diving out a window or grabbing a knife, etc. The risks of the drugs don't seem nearly as high as the risk of your child harming themselves or others. Even if unintentional.
I also wanted to comment yesterday on something you said in your post about having to have punished your son for his misbehavior. Our son is punished and I had a hard time doing it, saying it, admitting it but no amount of gentle discipline and reason works with him. Often natural or logical consequences do not matter to these children, they are willing to accept or deal with those, and do it again and again. I used GD and PD with my son and it was like a slap in the face (and at 3 he was so violent my husband and I would be black and blue from his rages). We had tough love boot camp in our house, we read 123 Magic and Rosemond, and at 4 we Ferberized him for bed time. All has worked. For nearly six months our son lost every toy he owned, his ceiling fan, his bed but the mattress, he had locks on the closet, a lock on the reverse side of his door and I had to call the fire marshall to get permission to put plexiglass over his window because he was trying to escape through it and beating it so bad that I was afraid he would go through the glass (we actually never got to putting it in) I'm sure to some people we were like Monster Parents that CPS should be called on. I had my attny and shrink phone numbers by my front door should a social worker from CPS ever show up. Five months ago after he started to stabilize we told him he had to "earn" his things back (keep in mind he is FOUR) He worked very hard to have his room painted and the 40something odd holes repaired in the walls (that he began putting there when he was 1) and get new carpet. He got a new bed, with all new bedding, and all his toys were slowly replaced or put back in his room. Now without medication, and our "strong" parenting I don't think he would have been able to do it. But he has a room like a regular child, even with a TV and DVD player in it. He even keeps it clean. Vastly different than six plus months ago when it looked like a padded room. I just wanted to tell you this about our family because I know how hard, sad, depressing it can be when you are trying to parent a child with emotional, mental, behavioral problems. "Normal" parenting seems to fly out the window and you often feel like a failure or loser -- I can't express to you how many times my husband and I have felt like horrible parents and even abusive parents. I often tell people that Dylan has made me question and often go back on every parenting ideal I ever had, but I had to finally release a part of who I was to do what was right for my child and entire family, rather than an ideal that wasn't working.
Right now things are going good, things are "normal" and "stable" but it took us a long time to get her. Just know you are not alone.