Hi, all. I'm new here and looking for some input. DS is about to drive us nuts.
He's gone from the normal not listening to just being defiant. Sometimes, it seems like he's in "trouble" (usually, he sits on his bed or the couch) all day, doing things he should know better...like putting things in his mouth, screaming for every little thing, peeing on himself or the cat (and laughing about it), or writing on things he knows he is not allowed to (the bed, his toys). Or just blatantly ignoring me and/or DH. He is a very bright boy, but emotionally like any other kid his age, plus some extra anxieties that come from being very sensitive.
One thing that does not seem to have helped the situation (but did not start it) was that we brought home two puppies a couple of weeks ago. He wasn't thrilled with the idea (he is afraid of dogs, although he is getting better and slowly used to the puppies), but it was something we had been talking about with each other and with him a long time, and we felt that with exposure (they are crate trained, so they are not on top of him all day, and he never _has_ to be with them), he would learn that he doesn't have to be afraid of dogs. I've also tried to enlist his help with the pups, saying how we have to teach them how to behave properly (instead, he started acting like them--biting me!).
We both work at home, and it has been busy, so there is stress there, too.
I admit we are on the stricter side of AP, but I have tried to get down on his level and get him to talk, but he's always had trouble expressing and handling his feelings (for example, he banged something against his lip last night, and after he told me what happened, I said, "Ouch," trying to be sympathetic, and it just got him upset all over again). I also try to make sure we're spending enough one-on-one time together (like asking if he wants me to let me read to him while we are outside with the pups or just asking what he wants to do), and he doesn't answer me or doesn't seem interested (which is sometimes typical of him normally).
So, I just keep the limits where they were, try to talk to him, and try not to blow up when he keeps repeating the same inappropriate behaviors.
Help! I need some tips to help resolve the underlying issues (although I am not sure completely what they are--maybe it's just the "4 1/2's" as they say about the unstable periods that little kids go through). I don't want him to be unhappy and in trouble all day!
Any tips out there?
He's gone from the normal not listening to just being defiant. Sometimes, it seems like he's in "trouble" (usually, he sits on his bed or the couch) all day, doing things he should know better...like putting things in his mouth, screaming for every little thing, peeing on himself or the cat (and laughing about it), or writing on things he knows he is not allowed to (the bed, his toys). Or just blatantly ignoring me and/or DH. He is a very bright boy, but emotionally like any other kid his age, plus some extra anxieties that come from being very sensitive.
One thing that does not seem to have helped the situation (but did not start it) was that we brought home two puppies a couple of weeks ago. He wasn't thrilled with the idea (he is afraid of dogs, although he is getting better and slowly used to the puppies), but it was something we had been talking about with each other and with him a long time, and we felt that with exposure (they are crate trained, so they are not on top of him all day, and he never _has_ to be with them), he would learn that he doesn't have to be afraid of dogs. I've also tried to enlist his help with the pups, saying how we have to teach them how to behave properly (instead, he started acting like them--biting me!).
We both work at home, and it has been busy, so there is stress there, too.
I admit we are on the stricter side of AP, but I have tried to get down on his level and get him to talk, but he's always had trouble expressing and handling his feelings (for example, he banged something against his lip last night, and after he told me what happened, I said, "Ouch," trying to be sympathetic, and it just got him upset all over again). I also try to make sure we're spending enough one-on-one time together (like asking if he wants me to let me read to him while we are outside with the pups or just asking what he wants to do), and he doesn't answer me or doesn't seem interested (which is sometimes typical of him normally).
So, I just keep the limits where they were, try to talk to him, and try not to blow up when he keeps repeating the same inappropriate behaviors.
Help! I need some tips to help resolve the underlying issues (although I am not sure completely what they are--maybe it's just the "4 1/2's" as they say about the unstable periods that little kids go through). I don't want him to be unhappy and in trouble all day!
Any tips out there?
:
But I'll keep that in mind next time the situation comes up, as it most surely will, and just offer comfort if he gets upset again 
