Single queer mama by choice to a stellar 2.5+ son from a non-id release donor. My choice came down to the questionaire and the desire for a multicultural child. (donor was punjabi) My son is the only offspring and my donor is "off the market" so I am offered all the rest of his samples which is 7 vials. I am slowly purchasing them up in monthly payments from the bank I used. I am planning on ttc starting in october. I really want to give my son a full blood sibling just for the ability to see himself in another besides me. Since he only has one side to see himself in, me, I like the idea of him having another to see the other side in. ykwim?
As for name changes, I changed mine twice while pregnant. FYI if you are on state aid of any kind the change is free except the newspaper posting. I wanted a new name because I was disowned by my family and wanted my child to have no association with that, we created a new name (the middle name of a cousin who passed on years ago). I love having our new name, being our own created family. I hope someday I will date again, let alone ever get married, and I would never change my own last name but I would not be completely against a partner taking ours, so long as my son was ok with it as well.
OKOKOK ALL YA'LL LISTEN UP ABOUT THE WHOLE DADA THING...PLEASE!!!!!!
I am a teacher by trade and have my MA in education. I studied language acquisition. During the early stages of primary LA children experiment with very specific sounds. They go through ba ba ba ba, ga ga ga ga, na na na na, ma ma ma ma, and da da da da amonng a few others. ALL children do. They go on to me me me, tee tee te etc and other such sounds. It is how they try out sounds, their sound and how they feel on the pallette (in the mouth). It is why I never said my kids first word was any of those, I counted the first from his first conscious, aware word. And I counted mama when he truly meant mama, when it was for me to come to him.
As for daddies, it is interesting, I worried about it some, but the few shows we watch have really great fathers in them (little bear, franklin) and he sort of just organically gets that all families are different. All my friends families are different. He also calls on of my friends, from my mothers group, husband daddy. It is pretty cute because he doesn't associate like his daddy, just that the man IS a daddy and so he calls him such. They think it is adorable as well.
On to money...I spent about $500 the first time to get pregnant, did it myself. I m/c'd that pregnancy then for my second (with bliss) I only spent about $275 (first try). That is sperm, dry ice, opk kits, preg test, speculum, and guafinison syrup (ick, I found tablets for this next time). Now for pregnancy my midwives took payments and cost about 2 grand total. As for time off work I would say 6 months salary is ideal, I had no savings and ended up on bedrest from week 5 to 15 and ended up in state aid, but that is another story. As for baby stuff, bf'ing is about as cheap as it gets and co-sleeping makes a crib unnecessary. As for clothes join a mothers group... I was given TONS of baby clothes and only ever really bought new stuff for "fun" not necessity. Remember, newborn clothes are worn for such a short time, and are worn so so gently, that they remain like-new even after one baby has gone through them so getting used newbrn clothes is a blast and so much like getting the stuff new. I think my biggest cost was toys, play gyms, bouncers, carseat, and stroller and playpen (which the former I didn't use til he was much much older, and the latter I never used except to pile stuff on).
ok I have babbled so long I can't even think let alone think of anything more to add.