Quote:
Originally posted by Cindi
You know maybe you folks could start a new thread rather than tell me what my question should be, and what my priorities should be. I wanted practical advice about paying for a midwife because I would like a home birth. I am also scared about our very delicate financial situation, and am feeling so vulnerable right now, morning sickness, hormonal, relationship struggles...I would like compassion. It has not felt good to come to this thread, getting so little support. |
ouch. A thunk on the head to me, aye? I surely didn't mean any offense, and any of my comments were not directed at you. I see a thread as a public discussion, not necessarily only for the benefit of the poster.
But of course the question is the point. I thought that you had gotten some good answers.
My thought is that if you haven't prepared and you don't have time to save up at this point - and I'm not knocking you if you don't, keeping things afloat in this crazy world is an acknowledged challenge, and if you know what your options are, you should either trace them all down, or go the easiest and most direct route and make sure you have a birth plan. Midwifes are usually wholistic healers, and they want to help mothers and babies to the most helpful birth they can muster.
1) find a midwife or 3 in your area, talk to them on the phone, meet them in person, tell them what you want and what your limitations are. Most of them will let you pay in installments or sliding scale based on your ability to pay, and some will even accept payments in installments for a year after the birth.
2) find out if your insurance will cover them, don't assume they won't. your midwife of choice can probably help you get coverage. if you want it, don't let them tell you that they don't cover homebirth because insurance providers start with the easiest answer - no. if you have some support from your midwife, and some suggestions from the boards and you NAG the insurance company, they may agree to cover part of the cost, if not all of it, because in reality, it's cheaper than a hospital birth, for them. all they need is the data. if a midwife/homebirth is the best option in your area, as far as you know, they would rather you have an attendant. and of course if you're "low risk", all the better.
3) if you have to try a birth center due to a limit of midwives, do the same thing.
4) try other homebirth practitioners, look under naturopathy or ND in the yellow pages, or call a naturopath and ask if they can refer you to someone who does homebirth.
It won't be easy. But you can do it, you deserve the birth you envision for yourself. If you feel discouraged, you've got tons of support right here.
Personally, my homebirth providers are naturopathic doctors, and my insurance is covering 70%, so we have to save up $750 between now and then. Since they are licensed doctors in the state, we can transport to any hospital, if need be, assuming there's room. We didn't fight the percentage, we were worn out when we had a stillbirth out of state last year and we almost had to pay the entire $10,000 bill. Had to nag them like hell to get them to figure it out and we still ended up paying $3,000. Also, we have to sign a waiver that says we acknowledge they don't cary any malpractice liability insurance and so we need to know that and take responsibility for our choice. And we do. And if everything goes to hell, we could be financially screwed for years to come. It's the reality.
Also, you might be able to reevaluate your student loan situation based on your current status.
So, even though I've gotten to meandering all over in my thoughts here - I just wanted to say that everyone here has the utmost confidence in homebirth and midwifery, and your ability to have the birth you need, but you are going to have to do a little leg work with the armaments and suggestions provided on this thread and on this site to find out what your liabilities are going to be financially and personally. We think you've got a fighting chance because we know that the practitioners you are likely to work with want to work with you, but the bottom line is, you are still taking a personal risk and you need to decide if this is going to work for you.
My thoughts are with you. If you want to PM me I'll be happy to call you and talk over the phone and provide as much moral support as I can. Don't let your confidence be shaken, you deserve happiness and the birth you see for yourself. Please don't fret.
Lori
ps, gad, I hate it when I'm being a jerk and don't know it. guess that's the curse of having such a BIG MOUTH.
but this was well worth it.
