Ongoing household dilema, here. It's really driving me batty, actually, and I need some input.
My 10 1/2 dd is a hot stuff big girl, these days, complete with *attitude.* She loves her little brother (4 1/2), really she does. They play quite well together, and often.
But, lately, when she has her friends over, she's gotten quite snooty about wanting privacy with her friends.
First of all, a little background detail for you visualizing benefit: dd has lotsa friends, tons of them -- super social. Ds has one friend, who he hardly ever sees. He's also very shy. He likes to be the tag-along little brother, which worked fine for years, up until now. He has a very hard time making friends -- of course I've tried and tried. . All of dd's playdates happen at my house, b/c I'm a sahm and I help out my single mama friends who work. So these playdates are very, very frequent (between 4-6 a week).
It started out with dd asking for a few minutes to talk privately with a friend who was over. I said, "Sure, that's fine," thought it was cute. Next thing I know, the time she's needing to 'talk privately' is growing and growing into, pretty much, the entire length of the playdate.
Needless to say to you mamas who've been in this situation, it becomes insanely challenging for me to keep ds satisfied for long. He feels incredibly left out and anxious to be with the girls. I find myself thinking 'Frog and Toad video' way too frequently for my comfort level.
It seems to make him feel very insecure when he knows there's other dc having fun in the house and he's not welcome.
Dd is resentful when I ask her to include him, and it's become quite a negotiating situation -- to the point where I'm exhausted from having to bargain with her to figure out all this complexity. I'm ready to cancel the playdates; it's just too much, some days.
Am I expecting something unreasonable, here?