Birth, is it more about me or the baby? - Page 3

[girlndocs]

You and the baby are inseperable not only during pregnancy, but through labor *and* at least the first several hours of bonding.

There is no "about you" or "about the baby"; what affects you, affects your baby.

You need to do what is right for you, to do right by your baby.

Hoping you have a wonderful birth.

[elyice]

she isn't there for support, but more to just see the birth and gossip about it to any and everyone later.

I concur birth is "not a spectator sport" You are NOT a show to be watched !

Don't call anyone until the babe arrives

[Emilie]

Um- the birth may be about you, or the baby- imo BOTH-

but it is DEFINETLY not about your mother.

Period.

Hope you remain strong in your wants and needs and you have a wonderful birth. Shame on her for making this a more stressful time for you.
Emilie

[my2girlsmama]

Originally Posted by elyice

Don't call anyone until the babe arrives

Looking back in the circus event that was my first birth (not entirely but enough) how I **WISH** I took Dh's advice when HE said we should do this with HIS parents.....and stupid me wanted to be *nice*..........


Totally good advice right here...focus on YOU and your birth and don't call until baby is here.............

[Kari_mom]

Put your foot down. This is the first test of who is the parent, your mother or you.

[Storm Bride]

This is not about the "baby" to your mother. It's about your mother.

I'd simply point out that putting stress on you is putting stress on the baby, as you're completely connected at the moment!! And, stick to your guns...you're not being unreasonable. I wouldn't mind my mom dropping in a few times to see how I'm doing (she probably won't, as she'll be watching dd), but I don't want her there full-time. And, I don't want anybody else in there at all except dh!

[~Megan~]

Don't tell them you are in labor. Call them after you've had a chance to rest.

[cottonwood]

That is just obnoxious! It is YOUR baby and YOUR birth. No one else has any claim to it and it is none of their business under what conditions you give birth.

Birth is about the baby AND the mother. The mother is not just a container for making a baby -- she is also going through a transformative experience. And like previous posters have said, what affects the mother affects the baby. Further, birth is an intimate experience just like conception. Your body will function properly, hormonally speaking, only if *you're* comfortable, just like when you're having sex. And that goes for postpartum too, when the hormones are still making changes in your body.

I am very sensitive to the energy of people around me, and prone to PPD, so we took it slow. NO ONE was invited to witness the birth, and we had very few visitors afterwards -- about 12 hours after the birth my MIL (who I love) stopped by for a few minutes to bring food and take my other children back to her house, and she knew better than to ask to hold the baby. My FIL stopped by for a few minutes about five days after the birth, and my mom and dad didn't see the baby until she was two weeks old. Most of our other friends and family didn't see the baby until she was several weeks old. It wasn't personal. We just didn't want anything to interfere with my recovery and with our bonding with the baby, so we only brought others into it slowly.

[leosmama20]

LOL I so feel for you on this thread. I am in the same situation. Everyone was hanging around for my first birth and this time, I just want dh and I. Though, I have really avoided telling my mom this because I know it is going to hurt her feelings. In fact, I think I am going into labor now, and I still haven't brought it up! *shakes head*