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Leashes for children...yeah or nay. - Page 4

Poll Results: Leashes...yeah or nay?

 
  • 24% (68)
    Horrible devices of evil.
  • 22% (62)
    Necessary evil for child safety.
  • 47% (132)
    A good tool that gives greater freedom to child and parent.
  • 5% (16)
    Cool....I always wanted another pet.
278 Total Votes  
post #61 of 211
So you're saying that passive aggressive attacks are ok? Now you think I'M stupid? Come on now. Making comments like "I have to check which board I'm on" are underhanded and cruel. It's inadvertantly saying someone isn't "AP" enough for this board. Now THAT is immature!
post #62 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppyMama
BTW- I don't really expect moms of onlies or less independant kids to understand but I would like it if you could sympathize enough to drop the judgement and realize that not everyone's reality is the same.
Personally, I haven't been judging you. And I'd ask that you reciprocate. Implying that people who don't use leashes are choosing a parenting ideal over the ideal way to parent an individual child is a bit judgmental, don't you think?

As far as not expecting moms of onlies or less independent kids to understand? I'm a mom of an only - a handful only; terribly independent. So I guess I wouldn't understand. Of course, I also nannied for 2 - sometimes 3 - other children, all under age 3 while also being mama to my own son. So I guess I might just understand. Please don't assume that mamas of onlies only have experience caring for one child at a time.
post #63 of 211
Well, I used to hate the leash/harnesses before I had kids. I thought they looked horrible and I believed that they probably didn't have a good effect on the psyche of the child being harnessed.

Now I have 21 month old twins and I'm starting to re-think that. One of them is a big time runner. And she thinks it's funny when mama asks her to stay close. That's just an invitation to run. She ran into the street once and it nearly scared me to death, literally. Luckily there were no cars around, but what if there had been?

The problem is, she has a sister at the exact developmental stage who often runs in the opposite direction. They hate being held these days, and they often freak out when I tell them they have to hold my hand if they want to walk.

When I'm alone I can't take them out anywhere anymore because I can't handle both of them. So yeah, I'm seriously thinking about getting harnesses for them. I honestly think they'll be happier, they'll have more freedom, mama will be happier and we won't be so confined to the house.

So if you are in the PDX metro area any time soon and see a woman with identical twin toddlers on harnesses, that's me. Judge as you see fit. I honestly don't care.
post #64 of 211
Scary thread... :

Okay, anyhoo....as the mother of a special needs child and the classic "fussy baby" (Dr. Sears' Fussy Baby Book is my personal bible) I just have to say, there is a time and a place for them, IMO, if needed. I don't use one, but I won't rule out ever using one, either. Lots of other moms I know with autistic children say they use them because their children are fearless, run away, won't hold hands, and to top it all off are nonverbal. Slings are not always an option for these kids.

My ds still loves to be carried all over the place, thank goodness, and I love my Ergo and my sling. The time will come, however, when he WON'T want to be carried. And he doesn't hold hands, he has sensory issues with his hands. A leash may very well be in my future. It may not. Until then, though, I'm in the camp that says that every situation and child is different, and there are some very valid reasons to use one.
post #65 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppyMama
Why would I want to wear myself out and frustrate my dd to find an alternative to the leash when she liked it so much?

I could have gone home everytime she tried to get away from me....that would have been everytime we stepped out the front door.

We wouldn't have had any food to eat because no one in the store including me would have been able to stand her screaming and flinging herself out of the cart- CIO?

We would have missed all the nice walks to the park with ds in a sling and dd on her leash.

She was completely verbal and capable of holding long, intricate conversations but she would not cooperate with strollers, hand-holding (except street)- basically on principle. She still has a couple of things that are non-negotiable for her and she will defend herself to the death :LOL .

BTW- I don't really expect moms of onlies or less independant kids to understand but I would like it if you could sympathize enough to drop the judgement and realize that not everyone's reality is the same.

It is not that my daughter is completely dependant and compliant, I wish! She has tantrums and tries to throw herself on the floor and cry to get something she wants too. But she's figuring out that doesn't work and I don't give into her demands.She's 2 years old, she's not the boss. If you give in every time a child has a tantrum they will just keep on having tantrums, I have neices who are 4 and 5 years old who still have tantrums because their parents give in every time. Honestly I don't think it's just that they are free spirits or have different personalities from my dd. Different parenting styles produce different results.
post #66 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by Potty Diva
So you're saying that passive aggressive attacks are ok? Now you think I'M stupid? Come on now. Making comments like "I have to check which board I'm on" are underhanded and cruel. It's inadvertantly saying someone isn't "AP" enough for this board. Now THAT is immature!
I did not say that she wasn't AP because she doesn't hold her child all the time, SHE insinuated that I stifle my child because I hold her all the time or keep her close to me. That would be just like someone coming on here and telling me I spoiled her as a newborn because I picked her up every time she cried. That was the whole point of the thread this one sprung from I think, these are things you wouldn't expect to read on an AP board. I expect to hear that crap from my MIL, not a fellow AP'ing mama.
post #67 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by DestinysMama
It is not that my daughter is completely dependant and compliant, I wish! She has tantrums and tries to throw herself on the floor and cry to get something she wants too. But she's figuring out that doesn't work and I don't give into her demands.She's 2 years old, she's not the boss. If you give in every time a child has a tantrum they will just keep on having tantrums, I have neices who are 4 and 5 years old who still have tantrums because their parents give in every time. Honestly I don't think it's just that they are free spirits or have different personalities from my dd. Different parenting styles produce different results.
With all due respect, my son's sensory issues and possible autism are not the result of my parenting. He literally cannot tolerate hand holding. He also can't tolerate the feel of wet sand. Or having his hair cut. Or eating anything green. Or looking at flourescent colors. And just last week he finally was willing to walk in the grass barefoot. He tantrums when he is on sensory overload or when something is terrifying/overwhelming to him. None of which are the result of parenting. Things are not always what they seem, they are not always black and white.
post #68 of 211
Yeah, the leash is great b/c I get so much flack in public about the duct tape.
post #69 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by Finch
With all due respect, my son's sensory issues and possible autism are not the result of my parenting. He literally cannot tolerate hand holding. He also can't tolerate the feel of wet sand. Or having his hair cut. Or eating anything green. Or looking at flourescent colors. And just last week he finally was willing to walk in the grass barefoot. He tantrums when he is on sensory overload or when something is terrifying/overwhelming to him. None of which are the result of parenting. Things are not always what they seem, they are not always black and white.
I was not referring to autism.
post #70 of 211
i think they are bizarre and kids look bizarre with the leash
post #71 of 211
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragonfly
Personally, I haven't been judging you. And I'd ask that you reciprocate. Implying that people who don't use leashes are choosing a parenting ideal over the ideal way to parent an individual child is a bit judgmental, don't you think?

As far as not expecting moms of onlies or less independent kids to understand? I'm a mom of an only - a handful only; terribly independent. So I guess I wouldn't understand. Of course, I also nannied for 2 - sometimes 3 - other children, all under age 3 while also being mama to my own son. So I guess I might just understand. Please don't assume that mamas of onlies only have experience caring for one child at a time.

I was not saying that parents who don't use the leash are choosing an ideal over a child....but it would have been that way for me. I never suggested that people grab a leash....just that they don't have to be horrible or cruel. My point about the "onlies" is that, although, my dd was independant before my son I could make a lot more allowances for her. I had more arms and time and patience. Most nannies are not responsible for the same out of house chores as moms are (especially WOHM's- which I was) and yes I nannies also and never used a leash but I didn't need to take them all the places their parents did and if we never left the house it was OK. It really is different.
post #72 of 211
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by tracymom
Yeah, the leash is great b/c I get so much flack in public about the duct tape.

post #73 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppyMama
It really is different.

For you, it was. For me, it wasn't. I guess what I'm trying to get you to understand is that you're asking for other people to make allowances for individualized circumstances and, yet, you are making generalizations about other people's circumstances.
post #74 of 211
The only time I think twice about a child on a leash is when I see the parent either a) dragging them behind as they walk at a fast clip or b) yanking the child back from what they should be touching.
post #75 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by CookieMonsterMommy
Potty, calling people A$$holes while being disrespectful and acting like a, well, you know--certainly is calling the kettle black.

It's really sad when people are so immature that they can't argue a point without name calling.

Kelly

PS-Perhaps you, Potty Mouth, should re-read the UA.
You said "posters" All posters here are members. Your comment was most certainly directed toward a member.

Semantics? I'm always up for some antics.
post #76 of 211
I don't like the look of leashes, but I think they can be usefull. We bought a little backpack thing today that has a strap on the top for an adult to hold onto for DS. It gives him more freedom than handholding with the safety of never being too far away.

He is 14m and 35lbs and it's hard to sling or carry him for any length of time atm (hoping that changes when my toddler patapum arrives though!) and he loves walking. But being only 14m he has no sense of danger at all so we figured the backpack would be a good compromise for us. Also, I can't run after him due to still having SPD pain so letting him run free in a crowded area or near a road isn't an option for me. He just loves to run straight to the road aswell!
post #77 of 211
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragonfly
For you, it was. For me, it wasn't. I guess what I'm trying to get you to understand is that you're asking for other people to make allowances for individualized circumstances and, yet, you are making generalizations about other people's circumstances.

This is silly. You have no way of knowing if being a nanny of many is the same as being the parent.

I apologize for any generalizations that I made. I did not mean to make them and I really don't like generalizations.
post #78 of 211
I thought they were horrendous....until I had a second child. DS is not quite 2 and DD is 2 1/2 months. I sling her, but for those who say "Oh, just pick up your toddler"..try doing that with a newborn in the sling and a fully tantruming big toddler..it's TOUGH (if not downright impossible to do) without the toddler hurting the baby! I have yet to go the "leash" route, but am seriously considering using one for select times - ie crossing the parking lot from the playground (when my toddler never wants to go home and will take off sprinting as soon as he frees himself from my hand.)

It's easy to condemn those who use one when you have only one child....as I said, I did. Just wait, you'll see
post #79 of 211
I didn't read all the replies (I know we all love that!)

But I'm with the they're okay camp. We had one that we never used because I never put it in mybag but my dd loved it. She would make me walk her around the neighborhood on it!

I think they are more humane than a stroller and iat is probably a releif to know that no one can take your child.
post #80 of 211
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by DestinysMama
It is not that my daughter is completely dependant and compliant, I wish! She has tantrums and tries to throw herself on the floor and cry to get something she wants too. But she's figuring out that doesn't work and I don't give into her demands.She's 2 years old, she's not the boss. If you give in every time a child has a tantrum they will just keep on having tantrums, I have neices who are 4 and 5 years old who still have tantrums because their parents give in every time. Honestly I don't think it's just that they are free spirits or have different personalities from my dd. Different parenting styles produce different results.

My dd is independant but she did not throw constant temper tantrums and was generally a load of fun to be around. There were a couple of issues that were very important to her. I listened and if it was something that I could do for her (safety, health, all OK) I did and do.
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