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Leashes for children...yeah or nay. - Page 5

Poll Results: Leashes...yeah or nay?

 
  • 24% (68)
    Horrible devices of evil.
  • 22% (62)
    Necessary evil for child safety.
  • 47% (132)
    A good tool that gives greater freedom to child and parent.
  • 5% (16)
    Cool....I always wanted another pet.
278 Total Votes  
post #81 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppyMama
This is silly. You have no way of knowing if being a nanny of many is the same as being the parent.
I know it has its differences but in the context of this thread, being a nanny to many outside of the confines of a safe house is very similar. The point is trying to keep up with more than one child and help them learn life lessons at the same time, right? That concern is there when you're the caretaker, whether you're the parent or not.
post #82 of 211
Poppy, I think you must have the female version of my son. He learned to walk the morning of the day he turned 10 months old, and was running by evening. Once he learned to be mobile, he hated the sling unless he wanted to nurse and/or sleep (and he had always hated strollers, though he didn't mind the shopping cart). It was uncomfortable for both he and I to hold hands constantly (I wouldn't want my hand stretched up above my head all the time either), and if he wasn't somehow attached to me, he would sprint in whatever direction he happened to be facing. I did what I could to keep up with him, and only used a harness (actually, his sling wrapped around his waist/chest area) when we were in crowds, until I was pregnant with dd - then I just couldn't catch him, and he would get into dangerous situations. My choices were to force him into a stroller he hated, hold his hand (which he hated) or use the harnes more frequently and give him the freedom to explore on his own. he's 4.5 now, and I don't think we've used it in at least a year, probably more like a year and a half. I understand the point about teaching boundaries, but I don't think the harness has stifled that in him. He's 4.5 now and knows not to dart into the street and comes back when I call him. The harness just made about a year and a half of both of our lives a hell of a lot easier, with no negative affects. FTR, my DD who just turned 2 has never used one, and I would be suprised if I ever feel the need to. She's a totally different child.
post #83 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppyMama
My dd is independant but she did not throw constant temper tantrums and was generally a load of fun to be around. There were a couple of issues that were very important to her. I listened and if it was something that I could do for her (safety, health, all OK) I did and do.
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post #84 of 211
i voted evil, but simply because of the connotations a leash has for me. they might be very useful and the least restrictive option for some parents (no judgment implied), but i cannot get over the likeness to a puppy that rises in my brain when i see them.

i have never had the need to use them, try not to think anything negative about parents i see using them, but do have a negative impression of the leash itself.
post #85 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueStateMama
I thought they were horrendous....until I had a second child. DS is not quite 2 and DD is 2 1/2 months. I sling her, but for those who say "Oh, just pick up your toddler"..try doing that with a newborn in the sling and a fully tantruming big toddler..it's TOUGH (if not downright impossible to do) without the toddler hurting the baby! I have yet to go the "leash" route, but am seriously considering using one for select times - ie crossing the parking lot from the playground (when my toddler never wants to go home and will take off sprinting as soon as he frees himself from my hand.)
That's what I was going to post. Well, mine are 21 months and 5.5 months, but still the same issues. I would absolutely love it if anyone had some suggestions. Rather than hearing what a bad idea it would be to use one, I'd appreciate alternate ideas that will keep BOTH of my children safe. The best solutions I've come up with for stuff like the zoo are a)dd sling, ds leash or b)dd stroller, ds attempt hand holding mixed with carrying. I'm not crazy about either idea, so basically we stay home unless I'm with dh or my MDC friends.
post #86 of 211
I think they can be good when you are in public in large crowds. It gives the child room to move around and explore while the parent (or me as the aunt) the peace of mind that I am in contact.
post #87 of 211
My mom used harnesses on my brothers (she had four kids five and under). I used to think I would never use them, I thought it was barbaric.

When my dd was five and going to kindergarten, I was waiting for her school bus, on the sidewalk, with her and 2yo ds (and the other kids and moms at the bus stop). I was holding ds's hand. Suddenly he made his hand go limp so he could pull it out from my hand, and darted into the road right in front of the bus. I got him just in time. I was shaking and all the other moms and the kids were terrified too. It was hard to find a harness (I didn't want a wrist type because I feared he could do the same with it) but I ended up making one for him. No way I was going to risk that again. Even as recently as last year, at eleven years old, I saw him dart across the street without looking. He's just that kind of guy.
post #88 of 211
Thread Starter 
eclipse- lots of similarities. My ds loved to be in the sling or held and then loved walking holding hands. He still loves to be carried but I have to give him piggybacks because he is almost 6. I have carried him more than a mile recently :LOL .

I wish leashes looked less icky but I don't know how that would be possible. There were lots of parenting decisions I made that others thought looked icky (CD, EBF, Co-sleeping) but that I knew were best for my family.

My whole point with this thread is to say that people are different and have their own issues and needs- including children. There is not only one path to attachment and for my dd and I attachment was better preserved with a leash- letting her have that couple of feet built respect between the two of us. My ds felt the most attached in my arms- just different people.
post #89 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by DestinysMama
I was not referring to autism.
I realize that. What I was trying to convey is that you cannot always "tell" a child is autistic by looks alone. Therefore it is unwise to judge another parent's use of a leash without knowing the circumstances. I'm sure I've gotten some funny looks when dh and I do our rotate-the-baby-dance at restaurants....give screaming child to one parent, said parent goes outside with screaming child and calms child while other parent eats. Inhale food. Swap baby. Other parent eats. People could look at that situation and say we're "indulgent" with our child or whatever for "tolerating" his tantrums and not setting limits. The thing is....the kid CAN'T sit still for more than a few minutes. He just can't. Part of the whole SPD thing. He will sit for part of the meal but when he's reached his limit, that's it...he NEEDS to get out of that high chair and run around. From the outside, I'm sure it appears he is a spoiled brat and we are lax parents.

I'm going way OT here. Just trying to convey that things are not always so clear cut.
post #90 of 211
I have used my maya wrap as a leash several times. Mostly in airports or other crowded places where my toddlers HAD to walk or else a temper tantrum would ensue. We must have looked pretty funny with the child on the leash and our bags being pushed in the stroller. Nobody's ever commented or looked sideways at me for it.

I really don't see how a leash is any different from a stroller, bucket infant seat, bouncy seat, swing, or any other device that has the potential to both save a parent's sanity and be overused. The only thing I don't like about them are the wrist style leashes. I wish they didn't make those and only used the chest models or slings. It always looks like the poor kid could yank his/her arm off.

Anyway, I completely respect other people's decisions not to use them. I do think a harness is a valid and perfectly acceptable option for parents who do want to use them. Heck, I never bought a exersaucer. Never felt it necessary. However my friend would have had a tough time getting a shower without theirs. Her dd loved to sit in it and watch her mom shower through the clear curtain. Not for everyone but it worked great for them, and the saucer was hardly ever used for any other purpose, they kept it in the bathroom. So I guess I don't see what the big deal is.
post #91 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by DestinysMama
I did not say that she wasn't AP because she doesn't hold her child all the time, SHE insinuated that I stifle my child because I hold her all the time or keep her close to me. That would be just like someone coming on here and telling me I spoiled her as a newborn because I picked her up every time she cried. That was the whole point of the thread this one sprung from I think, these are things you wouldn't expect to read on an AP board. I expect to hear that crap from my MIL, not a fellow AP'ing mama.
Then this thread was started out of a misunderstanding.
If I were to see the example Poppy used I would think, dag, putthat kid down it's obvious she doesn't want to be held! Holding your child against her will is not AP.

Do you understand the point poppy was attempting to make?

I agree with her.
post #92 of 211
Great! WONDERFUL modern invention that saves lives.

I have many many times strapped my daughter up good and tight- happily-
and dared any other mother of a "typical child" to glare at me and my vaccine damaged daughter.I love to educate strangers I do not even argue this anymore it's stupid. Until MOTHERS LEARN that all children are different, all mothers are different and we all have to do our darndest to keep our children SAFE, there is no point in arguing.

I LOVE THE LEASH! I call it a tether and I have several colors- it is WONDEFUL!
an yes, my daughter looks like a puppy on it. In comparrison, my puppy has enough where with all that he doesn't need a leash. I WISH my daughter had that same sense of danger. :novax

eta--- ugh why did I even go back and read the other posts?

Edited again b/c I am tuning out the ignorance here.
post #93 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by Finch
I realize that. What I was trying to convey is that you cannot always "tell" a child is autistic by looks alone. Therefore it is unwise to judge another parent's use of a leash without knowing the circumstances. I'm sure I've gotten some funny looks when dh and I do our rotate-the-baby-dance at restaurants....give screaming child to one parent, said parent goes outside with screaming child and calms child while other parent eats. Inhale food. Swap baby. Other parent eats. People could look at that situation and say we're "indulgent" with our child or whatever for "tolerating" his tantrums and not setting limits. The thing is....the kid CAN'T sit still for more than a few minutes. He just can't. Part of the whole SPD thing. He will sit for part of the meal but when he's reached his limit, that's it...he NEEDS to get out of that high chair and run around. From the outside, I'm sure it appears he is a spoiled brat and we are lax parents.

I'm going way OT here. Just trying to convey that things are not always so clear cut.
In my example I was referring to my neices, I know they're not autistic. I don't know enough about autism to even comment but like I said, I can see how there are certain situations where a harness might be needed, in a crowded place, a mom with a lot of kids, maybe autism would fall in there too, but I don't think that they are needed all of the time, every time you leave the house, a normal child, whether free spirited or not should be able to learn boundaries and how to listen to the adults who say no, look both ways before you cross the street, etc.
post #94 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by Potty Diva
Then this thread was started out of a misunderstanding.
If I were to see the example Poppy used I would think, dag, putthat kid down it's obvious she doesn't want to be held! Holding your child against her will is not AP.

Do you understand the point poppy was attempting to make?

I agree with her.
i thanked her for apologizing and clearing that up, yes. you still haven't retracted your a-hole comment though....
post #95 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppyMama
My dd is independant but she did not throw constant temper tantrums and was generally a load of fun to be around. There were a couple of issues that were very important to her. I listened and if it was something that I could do for her (safety, health, all OK) I did and do.
there are just some things that are not negotiable. my dd sometimes throws a tantrum when she's strapped in her car seat. but it's for her safety so there's nothing i can do, it's not up for debate. i consider the walking thing the same, she has three choices, either be held, hold my hand or walk nearby, it's for her safety and it's not negotiable. I won't let her ride in the car without being strapped in the carseat and I won't let her walk across the street without holding my hand.
post #96 of 211
Quote:
Until MOTHERS LEARN that all children are different, all mothers are different and we all have to do our darndest to keep our children SAFE, there is no point in arguing.
Amen to that.
post #97 of 211
and I said this on the other thread but just in case anyone missed it. for the moms who use the leashes that go around the wrist, do you realize if your child jerks away from you they can pull their arm out of it's socket? it's called nurse's elbow and it's extremely painful.
post #98 of 211
There's no neutral option.

"I don't use them but I don't care if you want to."
post #99 of 211
I know, don't you just love the way the pole was set up? three choices for yay, one choice for nay :LOL
post #100 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by DestinysMama
i thanked her for apologizing and clearing that up, yes. you still haven't retracted your a-hole comment though....
I'm not sure I will either. I think the comments were a-holish.

Also the Potty-Mouth remark? really cute. So how is it that when someone perceives themselves as being attacked they can call the presumed attacker an attacker and then go on to use insults. What does THAT mean
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