Weekly Chat, June 27-July (!!) 3 - Page 3

[Kavita]

samsmamma, it totally stinks about your friend. However, it seems that she is choosing to stay with her doctor and go with his recommendation, therefore choosing the situation. It's hard to watch, but you can't save people from their own ignorance or stupidity! Particularly a couple of days before they are due to birth. (Sorry if that sounds harsh. I guess my twin careers in criminal justice and midwifery have made me a little cynical about my chances of saving the world from bad obstetrical care, bad parenting and violent crime!! )

Gunther, good score on the diapers!

willemsmama, why are you hating fuzzi bunz so much, and what are you considering using instead?? I babysat a 8 month old boy who wore fuzzibunz. I didn't like them at the time because they leaked and seemed to need changing every two minutes, but later I realized that the mom didn't know that you are supposed to put an insert in the pocket so they were insert-less. Whoops!

*Amy*, that's good that your DH defended you in the face of his mom! It's a hard thing for a guy to do! I went to a wedding this last weekend too, and a bunch of people I know kept rubbing my belly too. I didn't tell them that they were actually not rubbing where the baby was, but my transverse colon! :LOL

[BensMom]

Originally Posted by Kavita

I didn't tell them that they were actually not rubbing where the baby was, but my transverse colon! :LOL

Now that cracks me up. So that's what's taking up all that space above my navel but under my ribs? That is what is pushing on my stomach causing reflux and heartburn already? D*mn transverse colon! MIL did the belly (transverse colon) rub thing last weekend too. I never encountered a lot of belly rubbers with my last pregnancy, so I was caught off guard with it when she did it. People are weird.

So what is everyone doing this weekend? Americans, planning anything fun for the 4th? We actually have a big weekend planned. We have friends coming over for dinner Friday. Another set of friends are planning a going away party (they are moving to NC) on Saturday. I hear there will be a keg, oh my. I have a feeling the guys will get stupid drunk and the wives will all be stuck on kid duty. I might be leaving that one early with DS. Sunday, we will start work on "gutting" the nursery, taking out everything and figuring out what we want to keep. And that night, we'll go see fireworks at a nearby city (with a live band, etc). And then on Monday, the actual holiday, we're thinking about checking out the new Ikea that just opened here. DH has never been and wants to know what all the fuss is about. And that night we should see some more fireworks from our back deck, but not have to brave the crowds on a work night.

So lots of fun stuff to look forward to. Normally my weekends are much more boring than that!

[PicnicBear]

The funny thing pertaining to family and belly-rubbing, when we went to a big family gathering about a month ago, which was the first time they had all seen me while pregnant, they all said hello to me when I walked in the room and after looking at my face, the eyes cast down to the belly. I must have had 20 people to this to me -- it was weird. Probably how large-breasted women feel when guys meet them and then look at their breasts (those dirt-bags) -- I never had that problem, maybe men looked at my butt but I couldn't see that. It did feel invasive. I had a baggy sweater on since I didn't have any maternity clothes at that point, so there really was nothing to see. It will be interesting to see what happens at the next gathering in 2 weeks.

This weekend -- well, DH and I and our little doggy are going to visit a relative who lives on a farm outside Madison, WI so we will chill out there, and Saturday is the big day of activities since we plan to check out the giant farmers market in the AM, in town, then go back to town in the PM for fireworks, otherwise veg on the farm and hope to work on my knitting, try to take control of the vegetables we will be bringing, maybe go swimming.

Oh, and this is weird -- the last 2 nights I have had dreams about being really impatient for the baby to come. I'm only 21 weeks and I am already this impatient, what's up with that? Also, I have a good bit of lab work I really need to do before the baby comes (kind of hard to lean over a laser table with a baby in a sling), besides being a major major violation of policy that would get me and everyone I know fired, it's terribly unsafe. So, I really *want* these next few months baby free to do this work -- but 2 dreams in a row, weird. When do most mamas start to feel so impatient? I thought it would be a lot later . .

[HoneyTree]

Like so many of you, I, too, am quite sick of the boob-to-belly gazing and belly touching. Some super creepy creepo who works in my building found out I was pregnant, and he kind of siddled up to me, looked down at my belly in a really smarmy way, then said, "Wow. You're not even showing." Of course all the snappy Samantha-from-Sex-in-the-City type rebuttals escaped me at that moment, so I just looked at him blankly and walked away.

Sometimes being pregnant makes me feel like the gawky, body-conscious teenager at the really cruel '80s high school. I just hope my happy ending is better than Molly Ringwald's were...

P.S. Amy -- your haircut -- SUPER CUTE.

[PicnicBear]

Originally Posted by BeTheEarth

Like so many of you, I, too, am quite sick of the boob-to-belly gazing and belly touching. Some super creepy creepo who works in my building found out I was pregnant, and he kind of siddled up to me, looked down at my belly in a really smarmy way, then said, "Wow. You're not even showing." Of course all the snappy Samantha-from-Sex-in-the-City type rebuttals escaped me at that moment, so I just looked at him blankly and walked away.

Men can be so disgusting -- keep track of the creepy things he says to you and the dates, it just may escalate and get worse and then you should report him for sexual harrassment -- that's what I have had to do, unfortunately, to a creepo at work who stared with things that weren't too bad and then got worse and worse. They should not be able to get away with it and when it happens it's often too startling for you to come up with some good comebacks, anyway, it's not your job to do so. I don't understand how some men can be so disgustsing and others are SO great

[Awaken]

Hey everyone- gosh there is a lot to catch up on!

Jenn- awesome about dh's job!!!! Congratulations! I hope it really changes things for the better for all of you.

Gunter- how incredible about all the free dipes! What a gift!

My diaphram (sp?), lungs, and stomach are so squished! The feet and legs and right across the top of my uterus, so no matter how I sit I feel like my ribs are digging into the baby- it really hurts!! This was the same with ds, but starting around 6-7 months! Not at 4.5 mos already! The baby isn't really kicking, per se, more like shifting and stretching.

Oh, yeah, totally experiencing the glance down at belly and back up to face deal! Esp. because I'm just starting to wear maternity clothes at work. And lots of "Are you....?".

ARRGGGHHHH! on the big baby myth!!!! I was at prenatal yoga last night and several of the women were talking about how their doctors won't 'let' them go past 10 days 'overdue' so the baby won't get too big...and incredulous that people they knew of had 9 or 10 pound babies- "you mean vaginally?? I didn't know that was possible!" Yikes. I think a lot of this could be avoided if women knew to read Ina May's books! They have given me so much confidence that our bodies are made to birth the babies that grow there! I mean, of course if you keep telling a women she is 'too small' and she will probably need a c-section, she likely will! The mind-body connection is so strong.

Re: protein- I can't get enough cheese- mainly Horizon organic mozzarella string cheese! Also brie, camembert, and cheddar melted on everything. Veggie dogs and burgers on the grill have been yummy. And yummy yogurt every day! Horizon I have found tastes the best, and I switch it up with Greek yogurt with nuts, berries, and honey mixed in. also, granola with lots of nuts in it!

Ok, I'm hungry now!

[*Amy*]

Hi mamas! Happy Friday.

I posted in another thread, but I had my 20-week ultrasound yesterday and found out we are having a GIRL! I was so shocked, I can't even tell you. My intuition (plus just about every family member on DH's side, and my two best friends) predicted boy, so when the ultrasound tech showed me the tell-tale three lines, I kind of flipped out. All day long, DH and I kept repeating, "we're having a girl!!"

I updated the baby webpage (in my sig) with ultrasound pics; one shows the labia folds and one is a 3-D image of baby Brynn's face in profile!! Those 4-D ultrasounds are completely crazy, y'all. The tech was so nice and burned a CD for us right there, so we have about 35 images.

The great news is that she was measuring right-on for my DOC, all of the organs looked great, the heart was perfect, she doesn't appear to have hydrocephaly, Downs syndrome, or spina bifida, and she has 10 fingers and 10 toes!! Yesterday was a great day!

So DH left this morning for Hawaii, and I leave Monday morning, so we may be watching fireworks there on Monday night (if that do that there). We'll be there for just over 3 weeks; DH will be teaching classes for the first two weeks (not every day, which is nice) and then the last week will be just vacation for the two of us. I can't wait! I've never been anywhere tropical or Caribbean so this will be a totally new adventure for me. The only thing I'm not especially looking forward to is the 8-hour flight over. I'm hoping the plane won't be totally full and I will have a couple of seats to myself so I can stretch out a bit.

Gunter, way to go on the cloth dipes!!! I am jealous! Well the good thing about finding out we're having a girl is that two of my best friends also have girls so they are going to send me a bunch of clothes that their DDs have grown out of. That should be fun!

BTE: thanks! I had it cut a couple of weeks ago and I love it.

Oh, totally unrelatedly - I am retaining water in my feet, legs, and hands *so* bad the past few days! It is SO uncomfortable. I think it is directly related to how hot it is and how much time I spend on my feet each day. Our house only has A/C upstairs, so downstairs stays around 80 degrees and humid (yuck) - another reason I'm glad we'll be gone for basically the month of July. Also I've been running around so much the past few days and on my feet a lot, which I'm sure doesn't help. I'm going to take it easy today and stay upstairs as much as possible. Have y'all found anything that helps? I was thinking of a cool bath maybe....and just drinking as much water as possible. But how much water can one person drink in a day, for cripe's sake??!

OK, that's my rant for today!

[samsmamma]

What part of Hawaii are you going to be in, Amy? DH and I went there before we moved in together. Actually it was a business trip (like, we made goal so we got to go and bring someone and it was all paid for...ah the good old days of the tech boom) and when we got back I told my then just boyfriend - I don't want to go home alone and he said - you never have to again - and within 8 months we were married. So it is one of my fave places on earth!

Have a wonderful time!

[BensMom]

Aw what a sweet story, Erica! I love Hawaii. DH and I went there when I was around 16w pregnant with DS and we had a blast. I did get violently ill on a boat trip, so beware of choppy waters, Amy!

Congrats to everyone getting U/S and I am glad everything seems to be working out!

I suddenly might have 2 doula clients for the month of July and its kind of scary! I havent attended a birth since my last client in december, because of my FT job. I was negotiating with one couple and never heard back from them and then spoke with another couple in the meantime. As I was finalizing with them, the first couple emailed me and I had missed an email from her from last Friday. Crazy!

So every night as I am dead tired, I wonder what I would do if I got that call right then. I guess the adrenaline would just kick in and I would do what I needed to do. I am very excited though as I am ready to get back in there and support some couples again! I sure love doula work, as hard as it is. (And assuming both couples work out, I will have a little extra money to pay my MW with, which has been stressing me out lately).

So that's my big news this week. Still trying to figure out when I can quit my FT job, which we should be discussing this weekend. DH gave his notice at his current job. Oh and I checked out the benefits for his new job, and they are actually better! Imagine that! Going from a huge company like IBM to a small 40 person company and the medical and dental is richer and costs less. That was an unexpected bonus!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

[Gunter]

Tiny Clothes

Jenn- Congrats on Dh's new job. Yay! And, perhaps on your return to doula-ing and other things that you want to focus on! Yay for you.

Amy- I am so jealous tha tyou are going to Hawaii. I haven't been there but would love to go sometime. People keep encouraging us to take a "babymoon" but we don't know where we want to go...other than EVERYWHERE! I hope that you have a enjoyable and memorable time!

Yesterday, I washed the pile of baby clothes I have been collecting from Goodwill. (with seventh generation detergent and ecolever fabric softener...think that's okay?) Then, I hung some of them in the closet of baby headquarters. So funny to see little baby clothes hanging in a closet of what used to be an office. I am all sappy about it. DH and I stood there marveling about a real live baby wearing them soon. Whoa, but YEAH!!!

I scored a pair of Motherhood maternity jeans for about $3.50, too. A little too big now but they were such a deal!

[*Amy*]

Erica awww, what a great story!! We'll be on Oahu (in Honolulu) for the first two weeks, and then we're flying over to the big island and I think we're staying in Kona for the last week. DH's work pays for our hotel and food for the first two weeks, and then we got a sweet deal on some fancy-schmancy Sheraton resort for our vacation week. I think what I'm looking most forward to is having a pool just steps away! I've been dying to swim this summer but didn't want to join our community pool just to leave 3 weeks after it opened.

[Awaken]

Amy, I'm so jealous of you going to Hawaii! I have never been anywhere, esp. not anywhere tropical! Now that we have a 2 yo I dread a long flight with him so I guess it'll have to wait a few years till he and the new sibling can stay at grandma's for a week! Have a TERRIFIC time!

Jen, great about dh's job benefits being better! I don't know why but it's been similar for us- dh's small company merged with a large one, and now our insurance is such a pain and we are ending up paying so much more and fighting for everything to get covered!

I didn't know you did doula work! Cool! I hope it works out with these families!

Originally Posted by Gunter

So funny to see little baby clothes hanging in a closet of what used to be an office. I am all sappy about it. DH and I stood there marveling about a real live baby wearing them soon. Whoa, but YEAH!!!

Gunter- this was the Biggest Deal to me the first time, too! Washing and putting away the new baby clothes. Just so meaningful and special. To think that in a few months a real little person will be wearing them! I lovingly picked out the baby's first outfit, and still have it in the closet right where I put it after he grew out of it including the little hat they get at the birth center- I will never ever part with it, it is so precious!

Well, did MORE clothes shopping today- never needed summer maternity clothes last time so I need a whole new wardrobe- I'm trying to not spend a lot of $ so I'm mainly going to thrift shops, but today I went to Old Navy and got some stuff. I've spent about $250 so far and I feel SOOO guilty about it. But I have to wear something to work and I can't wear the same 2 tops and one pair of shorts all summer! We never spend $ on clothes, but I still feel bad anyway. I will surely enjoy wearing them though- I didn't have anything that really showed my belly, and I want to enjoy it and show it off for the short time in life that pregnancy is!

Last night ds woke up at 3am with a high fever, then I couldn't get back to sleep worrying about him having a febrile siezure. So dh ended up being up with him half the night and I slept till noon and dh and ds napped together later that morning. Now he's back to having a super high temp again and went to bed at 6pm. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself now!!

[zjande]

Originally Posted by itsybitsy25

We never spend $ on clothes, but I still feel bad anyway. I will surely enjoy wearing them though- I didn't have anything that really showed my belly, and I want to enjoy it and show it off for the short time in life that pregnancy is!

This is true for me too! It's something that's so different from my previous pregnancies. I have such a totally different body image this time, I feel like my belly's pretty darn cute & I want to wear cute little things like I normally would, not giant t'shirts that I don't feel good in. My last pgs I'd settle for any 'ol piece of giant clothing I could find at Goodwill. I felt fat & felt like it didn't matter what I bought/wore, I'd still just look like a big whale with wierdly large boobs.

I think it's alllll about my supportive partner this time, *and* the fact I have the internet now, where I've found so much woman empowerment & pregnancy support & confidence. Today I wore some cute little maternity jeans with my tight black maternity tank top with the built in bra. My boobs are awesome, I love them this time! And I feel cute in "little" clothes, as opposed to the tent-like things I wore previous pgs. It's really wonderful, I feel sooooo good this time, so much happier in my skin. I don't EVEN feel "fat" at all (Ok, 98% of the time). I love my partner, he is as loving & kind & supportive as it gets.

I hope your ds is feeling better & his fever breaks soon!!

[3for3hb]

So I had my first mw apt on Thursday. I'm so glad that I have fantastic midwives. They are so warm and loving, I already feel so close to them. I brought my scrapbook of my first pg with me to the apt and we all looked at it and they oohed and aahed at all my huge belly pics and the black and white layouts of Willem when he was just under a week old. It was really easy to open up to them and tell them about the emotional difficulties I experienced last time around due to the overwhelming stress of school and internship etc, and how I plan on making that different this time. I feel so well taken care of . A little worried about the money situation with dh's new job and all. They take out more taxes than we expected so our rent is over half of our income (yikes). So we'll be scraping by for the next few months and probably take out a loan to have our mw paid by the 36th week. I worried so much about money last time around and it was so unfounded because everything worked out, so I'm not going to really let it get to me this time. Just have to be a little money conscious and see what happens.

Oh, and I'm 24 weeks... I guess I missed a few weeks of counting because of the move etc because I thought for sure I was 20. And they set my due date at October (!) 23rd!!! So I'm probably going to be in the first round of our births... don't remind me I said that if I go late :LOL . But I'm sticking with this pg due date club despite their date.

Kavita, I don't like the FB's because they JUST DON"T FIT RIGHT. He has worn size medium since he was four months old. I bought a lot of 11 on ebay for $80. And then I bought 34 of the Babykicks Hemparoos inserts. So it's been a well-worth investment the whole way through. And they are good dipes as far as they hold up extremely well (when I got the FB's in the mail I emailed the seller and told her I thought she should have been a little more honest in the listing because they were very well used, looked like they had been through at least two children... but they have held up this long for him) And they don't leak so long as they aren't overstuffed and if you get them to fit right. But after Willem became mobile (crawling etc) and lost his baby chunks, he became a really skinny baby and the larges I bought that I thought he would need are absolutely huge on him. His mediums are big in the butt and yet too short in the rise and he can pull them off without unsnapping them is he isn't wearing shorts. He can't do that with any of his side snapping dipes. But in defense of FB they are an extremely easy way of diapering (MIL, dh, non-CDing babysitters etc) and they are really easy to clean off too because of the fleece which also keeps the baby dry.

I have such a totally different body image this time, I feel like my belly's pretty darn cute & I want to wear cute little things like I normally would, not giant t'shirts that I don't feel good in. My last pgs I'd settle for any 'ol piece of giant clothing I could find at Goodwill. I felt fat & felt like it didn't matter what I bought/wore, I'd still just look like a big whale with wierdly large boobs.

zjande, I totally relate. My boobs are still big (and saggy )from the first pg but this time I don't mind showing a little cleavage even with the stretch marks on them. I think I'm sending my body a lot more love this time around because I am appreciating the miracle inside of me rather than being caught off guard about what's happening on the outside of me. I have those oversized maternity t's from last time and they are just absolutely ridiculous on me this time!!! So I'm gonna wear my tight tops and show that belly and hips off and if someone makes a negative comment about it I'll just hold up ds and say "see what this body can make???"

Happy Fourth of July everyone, travel safe and don't party yourself out too much!!!

[*Amy*]

I feel like my belly's pretty darn cute & I want to wear cute little things like I normally would,

Me too! I would say 95% of the time I feel really beautiful and want to show of my womanly body! I also find that I want to wear cute, belly-hugging clothes rather than big baggy stuff. In fact, when I do wear baggy clothes, I look and feel fat and frumpy. Not fun! I hadn't thought about the effect on body image of having a loving partner, but my DH definitely makes me feel beautiful and desired every day, and when I complain that I'm getting cellulite, he says, "So what? You're pregnant! The baby will need that when you are breastfeeding!" He's so great.

It also doesn't hurt that I've been getting so many compliments from friends and family. DH's aunt wrote me an email last night and said I'm the most beautiful pregnant woman she's ever seen. WOW! I'm just trying not to let it all go to my head! :LOL

It's just such a special time though...I want to really relish my positive feelings about it.

[DreamsInDigital]

I'm 20 weeks today! Gotta go, dinner's ready. Happy 4th tomorrow everyone!