Dads! Do you let your kids play with guns?

[bayviewbill33]

Why or why not?

I think it is o.k. for our son to play with toy guns when he gets a little older (he will be 3 in August). DW is totally against it. I think it is ok so he can play cops and robbers (good vs. evil). I did it as a kid and it was great. We built forts behind the bushes at my house where I grew up. IMO, I think we are overreacting when a kid plays with a gun. I do not believe it will make him violent at all. I think when he turns 5 he should be able to begin playing with them if he is interested.

So Dads & Moms, what are your opinions? Thank you for your input.

[gretelmom]

I'm a mom, but you asked moms and dads for input so I'll post... I think if you have guns in your home - for yourself, ie hunting, you should NOT have toy guns. Too confusing for your kid, then you can't say "don't touch guns".

If you do not have real guns in your house, and you feel its an important part of being a "boy", you might consider having toy guns that are VERY UN-realistic, such as neon green plastic or in the shape of a dinosaur (Yeah, I've actually seen this!). You may decide that it's important that your child understands why he must never point ANY gun at a person, even toy guns. The robbers in the game can be imaginary.

I personally do not want guns in our house because I want the kids to know that we don't want them to play games where people get hurt or killed - even if it's imaginary, imagination can be very vivid to kids - by another person. Know what I mean? As parents, we want the messages we send our kids to be very clear.

These are just MY opinions for MY family. It's a hard subject, and maybe you feel differently about guns in our society. But if you're anti-handgun, it might seem confusing to a child if toy handguns are okay. Toy drugs and toy cigarettes aren't okay... You know?

good luck!
joanna

PS my brothers were NOT allowed guns when they were little, but they would make guns out of bananas and sticks, and my parents would just cringe! anyway they all grew up to be registered Conscientious Objectors and two work for Peace in non-profits organizations like banning Landmines and Amnesty Internat'l. So who knows!!??

[Fionn]

Toy guns or no

Growing up I had a couple of toy guns from a western playset I was given by a relative. My parents gritted their teeth and removed the noisemaker so I wouldn't have a popping noisemaker next my ear. I played with them for a while and grew bored with it rather quickly, as I remember.

Some people say, "Oh, they're just going to use sticks and other toys as guns, so we might as well let them have toy guns." My feeling is that a toy gun is very obviously meant to be a GUN, and nothing else. A stick can be a gun, or a magic wand, or a telescope, or anything else the imagination of the child comes up with. Yes, a child who wants to play guns will do so with whatever is at hand, even a pointed finger, but why encourage gun behavior with toy guns? You can play cops and robbers with a banana, but it's hard to be Harry Potter or Gandalf with a toy gun.

[mizraim]

i agree with you..lets give our child what he wants but with limitation..and i think time will pass that sometimes he will lose interest with guns..

[wagodog]

Although I don't have a son yet, I would also prefer that my 3 year old dd not play w/ guns and it's not because she's a girl. I'm a weird one, though. I don't like the idea of having guns in the house as it just creeps me out, but at the same time, I personally feel that a little too much has been made about the whole video game/violence correlation. That being said, as the other posters have pointed out, kids' imaginations can turn anything into guns. I just don't see the point in introducing a toy gun into the mix.

Like gretelmom, I would prefer that my little girl (and any future kids) not "play" games that involve hurting/killing. (Maybe it's a naive wish on my part that my kids remain innocent.) I also hope/believe that I will be able to convey the difference between good and evil w/o resorting to a game of cops and robbers. (Not a knock against you - more a statement of my perspective as I didn't play that as a kid) Who knows what will happen if this next one is a boy, though, and he asks for one when he's a bit older?

[papapoochie]

NO GUNS IN MY HOUSE. PERIOD. Guns kill things. I am not teaching this in my home. What does a toy gun promote? Point and shoot and kill or wound. Check out other more sophisticated cultures that have less violence and killings per year (called Europe). They are not gun obsessed like we Americans. I feel strongly about this. The more highly advanced the culture, the less gun obsessed it is.

I was raised w/toy guns. I don't think this is a better, safer, more secure world because of it.

[Parthenia]

I was raised with toy and real guns in the house, and I turned out okay, too. But there's always room for improvement, and my kids are not growing up in the same time that I did.

My children are NOT allowed to play with guns, real or toys. I even get animal shaped water squirters instead of water guns.

With toy guns you don't have to make sure it has a safety lock. Toy guns don't shoot real bullets. I don't want my kids to be confused about the purpose of a gun.

We live in a hunting friendly area, and I would like for my kids to learn gun safety when they are old enough to clearly understand the difference between a real gun and a toy gun. Learning gun safety is not playing with guns. I don't want them to be afraid of guns, and I want them to know what to do if they see a gun in someone's house (leave it alone and/or leave the house)

I think there are better ways to learn "good" vs "evil" than shooting bad guys/robbers. I don't teach my children that we should kill the bad guys.

[musicman]

I agree with the above post, that encouraging "good vs. evil" behavior would not be my parental decision. Of course it's important for our children to know what guns are and what they do. But, in my opinion, it's dangerous to blur the line between a weapon and a plaything.

DW and I are expecting our first child (a son) any day now, and we've discussed this issue at length. Neither of us believe in supplying our kids with toy weapons. Of course, if he someday uses his toy guitar to bash something, then he is going to do it... We were all cavemen with clubs not so long ago... But the idea is not to validate the use of firearms, even when they are only toys.

I was raised with a similar ideology. My mother took a prohibitive stance on anything remotely weapon-like. I couldn't have water guns, even ones that were shaped like dolphins or some such thing. BB guns were totally out of the question. Furthermore, I wasn't allowed to have G.I. Joes or toys that were based on military/warfare in any way.

I think that my mom's choice in this instance influenced me for the better. At the time, I resented her because all of my friends had toy weapons and G.I. Joes and all that stuff. But that's just it. I don't think that it would have occured to me to want those things if my friends didn't have them. I don't believe that children (boys or girls) are naturally attracted to toy weapons. They have to be brought up in a culture where those things are accepted.

And our family does not accept them.

[papapoochie]

Originally Posted by musicman

I don't believe that children (boys or girls) are naturally attracted to toy weapons. They have to be brought up in a culture where those things are accepted.

And our family does not accept them.

[crunchyconmomma]

i'm with you, papa. my DH is with your DW on this one. i want to play squirt guns with my 3-next-month year old. but my DH will not budge. absloutely hates the whole idea of anything even remotely like a gun. sort of even hates the idea of using old dish liquid bottles to squirt water because our DS makes shooting noises. i personally hate barbies and what they do to kids ideas of beauty more than i do a toy gun and the play involved. i do not believe that a squirt gun at 3 will cause him to think an oozie at 25 is fine. there is MUCH more to it. but i respect my husband's opinion. and truth be told, i think he's probably right that even play shooting is not cool. why get our kicks out of pretending to harm each other? oh well....

[Tata]

Can't go there with the cops VS robbers equates, "good VS evil". I haven't equated police with good since I was ten. I started to learn about the very real personal behaviors of police toward the folks they are policing and protecting. There is quite a lot of truth in the statement that the police mind and the criminal mind are very similar. Police are there to help when there is trouble and to keep situations from escalating. They are there to deal with murder, rape and other horrors. I do not envy them their jobs and do respect them as people who are doing something I could not do. However, I do not equate them with "good". Many police use excessive force and violence, profile based on race, are corrupt, and in some cases psychotic. I would no siooner equate them with "good" than politicians. Although, I hold police in higher respect as people.

Back to the topic. No guns here. We have a lot of camo clad, cru-cut boys of five years and up running around our neighborhood shooting each other, us, other people and screeming, "I'll kill you!" at the top of their lungs. Yeah, it's fun. I played with guns when I was a child of that age. I don't remember what I yelled, but my parents told me not to point and shoot at people. It is too easy in these times to raise a potential psycho if the parents are not in tune to what is going on with their child. The video games are extremely graphic in their images of violence and coupled with war footage, and the "gee, it'll be great to be a soldier when you grow up" propaganda, I fear for these boys. They are certainly not getting a dose of "good" by shooting at other human beings and saying they will kill them. I did turn out fine. I even spent time in my college days shooting sprite bottles at 200 yards with an old German Mauser 8mm WWII rifle (with no scope, I might add). And, yes, it was fun. I learned a lot about balistics watching bullets rip apart garbage in the strip mining quarry. But that ony reinforced my belief in no guns for my kids. I know what they can do.

[rdl2k5]

I grew up with toy guns, Gi Joes, Star Wars and all that stuff. My dad and grandfather both had shotguns/rifles in the house. Guns don't kill people, People use guns to kill people. I can kill someone with a rolling pin or a piece of glass *shrug*

But, I don't have guns in my home, and I won't have them. If I ever purchased a gun for hunting or whatever, I'd keep it in a locker at a sport place/range. Just no reason for them to be an issue in the house for me.

I do believe it is a person's right to own a gun if they want to, including myself.

As far as the poster saying they want to use water guns, what about those "bladder guns" ? I saw them at a water park this past week when I went. It looked like a pastry decorator filled with water or a "water pouch" that squirted water out the end. I guess they aren't "guns" but the same "water fun" thing would go with it.

[user_name]

IMO, if you think guns are "bad," then don't let your kids play with toy guns. If you think killing or hurting people is "bad," then don't let your kids play like they are killing or hurting people.
But keep this in mind as well: you can think killing or hurting people is "bad" and still be consistent while allowing your kids to have recreation with guns. It might be something like supervised target practice in the backyard (if space allows) or a at a shooting range. Basically, I don't think the "gun issue" has to be black and white in order to provide safe and fun environments for our kids and future adults of this country.

That being said -- Tata: give me a break! -- don't associate Police with "good" b/c of some individual policemen's shortcomings? So, I guess because there are many Robbers out there who have good hearts and truly believe they are not doing anything wrong (people I'm assuming for the sake of this argument that you might "respect as people" (whatever that means...)), then you wouldn't associate Robbers with "bad"?!
Come on -- kids need just the opposite of this post-modernist wishy-wash. Kids need to be taught that there is a GOOD and there is an EVIL; that there is a RIGHT and there is a WRONG. As they grow up to be older, with the life experience and wisdom age can bring, they can hone their discernment skills. However, as children, it needs to start simple. You wouldn't try to teach a child how to do algebra before he's mastered adding, subtracting, multiplying, and dividing, would you?!

(sorry, just had to vent a bit...)

[mommymimi]

Guns or no

My personal belief is that boys(and I have two)are continuosly bombarded with toys,movies,TV shows,and games centered around violence.My husband is a social hunter.We both have close family members with guns and are hunters.My boys are very innocent and want to help people rather than hurt them.They will not play with guns. My husband and I agree that when they are older and mature enough to have a resonable conversation about the safety of guns and recreational uses of guns we may consider being more open to more traditiona boy activities,movies games,guns etc.My boys love sports,tractors,and other physical activities where they can express their boyish aggresions.I want them to understand that guns hurt people and we never, ever,even when pretending, use them for violent intentions.I do sometimes find it a little difficult when speaking of police officers and soldiers.I try to explain to them that these people are helping and protecting us.I never want my boys to be afraid or disrespectful of our brave Hero's.
Well, i think I've said enough! Have a super Day and make decisions that work best for your family dynamic.

[Tata]

Speaking of black and white framing of issues, User Name, I think you are pretty good aty it. I certainly did not intend to say that there are "good" robbers with hearts of gold out there. People do steal for various reasons, most of which are not necessarily "good". The mere framing of something as good and evil is black and white. My point was to show that that kind of looking at the world is pretty unrealistic. And, my three and a half year old daughter is allready starting to grasp the world beyond black and white. And, yes, it does start out with what is right to do and wrong to do. But, she is only three. Everyone else here is much older.

Respecting someone as a person is a much higher form of respect than respecting the institution that the person belongs to. So, that's what I mean when I say I respect police as people. The institution is corrupt. Any power over others institution is corrupted by the power. There is not one that exists that isn't. And, there are quite a few more corrupt police than "some individuals".

And, personally, I do not believe in the concept of evil. It is made up by people who again wanted to controle others.

[zaadad]

NO GUNS IN MY HOUSE. PERIOD. Guns kill things. I am not teaching this in my home. What does a toy gun promote? Point and shoot and kill or wound.

I totally agree. No guns in our house...at all. We even discourage turning other things into guns.

Guns serve no other purpose but to promote violence. Buy you may say "it is only pretend" But what is pretend violence going to get us and teach our children? That is OK to shoot things? I'm sorry, I do not want my boys to be a part of that. As someone else mentioned, american boys already get inundated with enough propoganda already.

Both of my boys get very nervous when they see other kids playing with guns. They know that guns are dangerous and that they hurt people and animals so they do not understand why others would even //want// to play with guns.

My 2 cents,
Curtis

[mommymimi]

guns or no

You go zaadad! My boys are the same way.I'm glad to read that there are other boys out there who understand that most boys are taking the violent play too far.We do not play,watch or read weapon entertainment at all (incuding water guns) But the conversation between us frequently comes up.I use this time support peace dont they say we should start within ourselves and our homes.Education and responsibility are huge steps in a safe and peacefull homeland.Changing things one step at a time?

[Tata]

Way to say it, zaadad! You go!

[SirPentor]

My wife and I have debated this a little. She says absolutely no guns. Never. No toy guns. And if she sees them playing a game where something else is a gun (a "shooter" as they call it--usually from starwars), she grimaces.

I figure that they have lightsabers and swords and are constantly fighting with them. I will frequently take on the two of them in an epic lightsaber battle (the force is stronger with me than with them). I don't see a practical difference between fighting with toy swords and fighting with a gun.

My wife thinks that there is a major difference--it's very unlikely either of them will ever fight someone with a real sword.

That's a good argument, of course. On the other hand, neither of them are really doing "sword-play". They are really making blunt-object attacks, and if either of them are ever in a serious fight, there is a good chance that they will use (or have the option of using) a blunt object (bat, golf club--just pick the first thing you see up and hit someone!).

So I think their OK, but it is isn't important to me that they have them. It is important to my wife that they don't, so they don't have them.

And real guns in the house--no way. There is sufficient statisical evidence that the most likely thing that would happen with the gun is something I don't want to happen (stolen, accidentally kill someone, etc). I have considered getting a membership at the local shooting range, and possibly even buying a gun (to keep there), but that's a pretty expensive hobby, and I haven't been able to justify it lately.

And finally, my two favorite statements about guns killing people.:
"Guns only kill if used for their intended purpose."
"Guns don't kill people. Dangerous minorities do."

[chiro_kristin]

I think a balance can be achieved. Although my brother and I were allowed to play with some plastic weaponry as children, we were more limited to imaginatory sticks and such due to financial issues. We too played in forts, etc, with the neighborhood kids in the woods, and to my knowledge, we all grew up to be peaceful folk. Actually, when I was in my late teens, I finally found out that my father did have a pistol in the house while I was a child. Never knew it. But I was taught never to touch a gun, knife safety, that wanting to hurt others is not an acceptable behavior, and even that I shouldn't try to hit anything, living or nonliving, with so much as a stick. So while I was given freedom within safe boundaries to play out a lot of situations, I grew up to feel guilty about stepping on an anthill or even killing spiders in my home!

So I don't know what the "secret" is. DH and I'll have to figure that out as my children enter my life and grow. I do have a safely stored gun in my house (personally - it's not DH's) as I have been in a very abusive relationship that resulted in harassment and stalking that extended into my current relationship, and I don't feel safe when I'm by myself. Even though I don't think I would ever use it unless my life was threatened, it helps me sleep to have it close by and know that I do know how to protect myself if the need arises.