Taking dd to my Gyn appt

[sunnmama]

I have always taken dd with me to the GYN, but how old is too old for her to go along and sit in the room with me? She is 4, and my appt is tomorrow, and I have no real option than to take her.

Nudity is not the issue--we are nude at home all the time. But the whole visit may be a little intimidating to her at this age, ya know? The strange gown, the stirrups, the doctor spelunking.....lol

Am I going to damage her for life? (kidding) Would you take your 4 yo?

[meemee]

my dd is nearly 3. but going by her personality she would be more curious and ask a tonne of questions rather than be scarred for the rest of her life. now if we did the whole procedure without explaining a thing - then even cleaning ear wax could potentioally be a scaring episode for her.

[sunnmama]

She's forgotten the last visit (it was over 18 months ago....), so I did a bit of explaining tonight. She doesn't seem to think it is a big deal (good), so I guess it will be fine.

But surely there is a cut-off, right? Maybe when they are old enough to stay in the waiting room alone? (10 or 11?)

[4evermom]

Originally Posted by sunnmama

But surely there is a cut-off, right? Maybe when they are old enough to stay in the waiting room alone? (10 or 11?)

Yeah, whatever age it is that the idea of parents having sex is gross. Probably, after whatever age seems right, you can just ask her each time if she wants to stay in the waiting room or come in and she'll eventually opt to wait. Even if she comes in she'll probably just not look. My ds (almost 4) is so interested, it's very funny.

[cielle]

I took my ds (4) to a bunch of mw appointments, including ones where I got "checked". he didn't blink an eye, just played with the toys in the office.

[moondiapers]

Originally Posted by sunnmama

She's forgotten the last visit (it was over 18 months ago....), so I did a bit of explaining tonight. She doesn't seem to think it is a big deal (good), so I guess it will be fine.

But surely there is a cut-off, right? Maybe when they are old enough to stay in the waiting room alone? (10 or 11?)

but then she'll only be 3 or 4 years short of needing them herself, and wouldnt' it be better for her to be familiar with the procedure?

[cmb123]

This might be a good time to think about your GYN care. Is it scary? How is your body treated? Is it treated like it's "normal" or like it's clinical and unsanitary? Does your practitioner treat you holistically or like a medical specimen?
I know for sure, I don't want my daughters to grow up with their bodies being a mystery even to themselves. I think going with you to your appointments can be a very good thing if they are walking away with good messages and not the typical misogynistic views of your average male OB/GYN.

[mamalisa]

I took my ds, 4 1/2 with me to my first appt for this pregnancy. As we were waiting for the Dr., I went over the whole deal, everything they were going to do. He was so into the whole thing, it was a little scary :LOL When I explained how the internal exam worked his response was, "OH, I can't wait to see this!!" Um, yea, you're going to sit in that chair right there, behind my head pal. He's also been to the ER one night with me and to all my blood draws, he's totally geeked about the whole thing. His other hilarious comment was, "Woah, that's a BIG Qtip". Yes, yes it is.

I would just make sure she knows what to expect, that it doesn't hurt (if you have a good doc) and why it's so important that you do it.

[UnschoolnMa]

Originally Posted by sunnmama

But surely there is a cut-off, right? Maybe when they are old enough to stay in the waiting room alone? (10 or 11?)

No, not really. Well for us anyway. My Dd is 11.5 and she has come in with me without issue. I would just explain and then let her decide.

[obeyacts2]

Ask the office if its' OK that she be there. The practice I take my Mom to has a sign that says "under no circumstances can a child be in the exam room when an adult is haivng an exam, no exceptions." This is a Womens Health Nurse Practioner with her own practice, too!

[sunnmama]

CMB, good point. Maybe time to find another doctor

Unschooln, . That is awesome! I talked to dd last night, and she is fine with it.

Obeyacts, yikes. I didn't even think of that. I'm not going to call, cause I have no other choice (and I need to go). I guess she could just sit on the floor outside the room for the time of the actual exam if necessary. She has attended in the past, so I know that children have been allowed in the past (but have no idea about older children).

[Alkenny]

My older two went to some of my prenatal appointments with me, they sat on chairs to the side and didn't really SEE anything. They were 8 and 10 when the babe was born.

You might just be making a scary situation where there isn't one, KWIM?

[sunnmama]

Update--It went fine. Dd was happy to sit and read a magazine, and Dr was really happy that I brought her (kept looking and remarking about how big and beautiful she'd grown, and even thanked me for bringing her in, lol).

Much ado about nothing!

[aisraeltax]

taking ds to ob

maybe i am too liberal, but my 7 yr. old ds went with me to my first ob examination, during which the dr. did an internal as well as the regular visit stuff. it was actually the best pap i ever had b/c i read to my ds, who stood by my head, during the exam. i was so distracted keeping him distracted i hardly noticed what was going on.
i have always been naked at home and it has never been an issue until about a year ago with my older son (who has become embarassed...hopefully its just the age and he'll grow out of it and remember what i have taught him).
its my view that i have nothing to be ashamed of with my kids and its good for them to understand about women's bodies, etc. My first husband was so oblivious to many issues and i attribute alot of that to the fact that his parents were so secretive about many things.
just my humble opinion.
i just joined so am looking to get to know some of you.
Rach

[sunnmama]

Hi Rach! Welcome to MDC!!!

Originally Posted by aisraeltax

maybe i am too liberal

Not possible. :LOL

[mumm]

I've been taking my 2 year old dd and almost 5 year old ds to a ton of internal ultrasound appointments and even a few insemination appointments. DS is curious about it, but I point out what is happening on the computer screen rather than having him look directly at me. My 2 year old likes to comment on the "stick in my bottom". :LOL (She knows proper names like vulva and vagina, but "bottom" gets used a lot too.)

At the inseminations, they like to do the "swimmy dance" to try to get the sperm to swim up. It is what ds did when dd was conceived, and he likes to hear about that. It also keeps them busy while I lie for the 15 miinutes after. DP is hysterical dancing around the room with them. I can only imagine what the medical staff thinks. :

I'm not totally comfortable with nudity in many settings, but in a medical setting it seems perfectly normal. Just like I don't have any trouble with ds (or dd) watching/participating in birthing a sibling. It just goes with the territory. I'm sure the time will come when i don't want him around for exams; I just hope it coincides with when he no longer wants to attend.

[chapulina]

I don't see any big deal about it at all- that is, if your child (I'm thinking of the older child here) is ok with it. Its a normal part of life and a chance for educating them on how we take care of our bodies, etc.

It is easy to explain what is going on at the level of their understanding. I've taken my 3 yo to every prenatal visit and don't have a problem with it at all.