Addressing the Special Needs of Gifted Children #5 - Page 3

[oldcrunchymom]

My perspective has definitely become skewed. Kids who are doing things on an average time table often seem "slow" to me even though they are NORMAL. Even with Nan, who is not that academically advanced, I get people telling me how bright/coordinated/precocious she is and it's hard for me to see it.

As for non-academic traits, I guess the biggest ones I noticed were way less need for sleep, advanced small motor skills, and long attention spans.

[USAmma]

Just to add another point of view here-- I have a dear friend with a 7yo son. I've known her since her son was two or maybe early 3's. He was slow in everthing: walking (around 18 mos), potty training (four), and talking. I couldn't truly understand anything he said until he was about five. He's now seven and has totally caught up, and in fact is reading way above his grade level and is showing advanced skills in other areas, too. He's probably not gifted persay, but he's a normal, intelligent, little boy. You can't always measure giftedness or the lack of it by early milestones, although there is a trend with many of our kids.

My oldest dd, as I listed earlier, was early in almost everything. She has started to level out in the last year. I expected her to keep going at her fast pace. She is going at a faster pace and can undertstand concepts that many kids her age don't yet, she has a strong sense of humor, justice about the world, etc. However she is no longer way, way ahead like she was.

Her social development was quite delayed for awhile. Abi was so focused on academic things that she had no desire for peer relationships and was immature in how she related to me and dh. She was tested as gifted at age 3.5 but her social development was slow. In the last year she has caught up in social development for the post part. In some ways she's now advanced in that area (prefers older kids/adults) but in other ways she still struggles.

I guess my point is that kids who are appear to be gifted may or may not be as they get older, or perhaps it becomes more evened out or subtle as they focus on other things. Other kids (Einstein would be a good example) may appear to be delayed but are gifted beyond most of our kids. Just food for thought.

*pardon the typos, I had my toddler in my lap!

[mcsarahb]

Wow. It is refreshing to read all of your stories. So often I find myself downplaying Lily's abilities to other parents, or trying to praise their kids as much as they are praising her. And it's nice to talk to people who'll actually believe what she's doing.

So yeah, she talks a lot. I have no idea how many words she has now - 150? 200? I've stopped counting. And it seems like there are at least 2-3 new ones per day now. She's starting to learn colors, and a few letters. Her phrases include "Tell me," "Outside now," "Feed Joe-joe," (our cat) and "Baby up!" She also has a sense of humor, and often teases us by pretending to give a kiss or hug then turning away. She has imaginary play, pretending to eat or drink things and offering "food" to us, and making her stuffed animals kiss each other or us. She is very detailed in her play, too, sorting and grouping tiny little rocks or cherry pits from the backyard into piles and groups. She recently learned the concept of "two" and obviously understands it now.

Books are a biggie. Like a PP, I also didn't realize that other babies aren't that into books so early. We have pictures of her totally engaged in reading with DH when she was 6 mos. She has never chewed or torn books and has many "regular", paper-page books, unlike many babies we know her age. I get funny looks at the library when I let her hold those. :

Anyway, thanks again for these lists, and for this support thread. It is wonderful to read about all your amazing babes and kids, and get to "know" you all!

Sarah

[NoHiddenFees]

Noble Prize Sperm Bank

A few years back, there was a short series of articles on Slate called Seed that focused on the Nobel Prize Sperm Bank set up by Robert Graham just over 25 years ago. I was reminded of it this morning by a book review on Salon of The Genius Factory, which grew out of the series. Some interesting reading. I'm looking forward to reading the book.

[teachma]

Originally Posted by isisjade

"Actually" is one of my DS's favorite words.

When, several weeks after his first b-day, I asked my ds one night, "Would you like to brush your teeth now?" he shook his head 'yes,' then immediately followed up with, "Actually, no!" My mom and I were hysterical! He has loved that word ever since, along with other qualifiers like ordinarily, supposedly, occasionally. At 4.5 years old, he will also consistently choose the fanciest vocabulary word he knows to express an idea. If someone asks which flavor ice cream he would like, he'd say, "My preference is..." If he's asked, "What do you think about X?" he will reply, "I believe.." He consciously chooses the big words, though, and you can almost see a sly expression on his face when he uses them. He LOVES words. He sometimes speaks in humorous rhyming couplets for fun! All that said, he has not been officially labeled gifted. We are seeing a counselor for OCD-type issues currently, and she is trying to persuade me to get him tested. I have mixed feelings on whether to do it.

[allgirls]

this is fascinating...I just pulled Sophia's baby book out....

couple things really stand out...recognised letter B at 10 mos...we had foam letters in bathtub then pulled B out of the magnetic letters and remembered it. She knew all of them within a few months after that...she would bring me a magnetic letter and I would tell her what it was and she would then know it..anywhere.

One that made us a little freaked out at 10 mos was she was playing with the pots and pans and was just banging them about we thought and when we looked she had fitted each pot with it's lid and nonchalantly crawled away...dh and I looked at each other like

She also just seemed to understand things and she had better than average impulse control...we could say "not for sophia" and she would look at it and go...a few days later she would crawl towards it, stop, shake her head no and go leave it.

So anyway...today she took off her sandals that we bought a few weeks ago(velcro on 3 different straps) and she has just learned how to put them on(she would get so mad at herself because she couldn't weave the back strap through the loop but she can now!) but occasionally put them on the wrong feet...well today she put one on...looked at it..."oh, wrong foot" and took it off and put it on the other foot...then put on the other shoe

She will be 2 on Saturday...I can't believe how time has flown...well anyways she is watching a movie now...think I will join her...

cheers

[eilonwy]

One of the things about BeanBean that really floors me is that he's got a sense of direction. He can direct me, for example, from home to Mike's job. It's not that difficult a trip to make, but he can say, "turn right at the stop sign. Now get ready to make a left. No, mamma, I said left!" If I get into the wrong lane (or don't get into the correct one) he will correct me if he's awake. It's amazing to me, because I have no sense of direction at all. He always knows if I say we're going to one place and I start to take a different route; he can't be fooled. He's even asked me, "Mamma, are you lost?" :LOL I guess I'm fascinated by his because I have no sense of direction of my own. I can memorize a list of instructions (Left at T street, right at A street) but if anything's out of sync it's a toss as to whether or not I'll get there.

BooBah has a sense of rhythm. Everyone in the IL's family is fascinated by this, as she is the first person ever, as far as they know, in Mike's family to have a sense of rhythm. It's not her age that really gets them, they have no idea when such a thing would manifest because it's never happened to anyone. :LOL I, however, come from musical folk, and I think that a child who can keep time at 4 months is definately extraordinary. :LOL

ChibiChibi demonstrated a sly wit at the age of 3.5 months. She called her father by his name instead of "Daddy." He came to her and said, "It's Daddy, not Myname. Daddy." She giggled at him, and when he walked out of the room she looked over and whispered his name, and then started laughing hysterically. :LOL It was sooo funny! She's always been funny, right from the start.

Things are going pretty well over here, except for some potty regression (which completely sucks, have I mentioned?). The kids are healthy and growing, doing kid things. It's very cool. Next week, I'll have BooBah's birthday pictures taken. I won't be posting them online (see my sig) but I'll have them to mail and to put in her baby book, and that will make me happy. :LOL

[teachma]

Originally Posted by Britishmum

Dd#2 has a great game at the moment. She describes a letter to me and I have to guess what it is, eg "It's got a circle at the top, then it has a line going down and another one going down the other way." (R)

Ds enjoyed a similar game at one point, but with numbers. He would describe them the same way your dd does with letters, and if I couldn't guess, he would give clues like, "You can get to this number by starting at two and going two more." Of course, to encourage his number sense skills, I would sometimes pretend not to get it based on his description of its appearance alone.

I always thought he was a little "weird" for playing games like these at 3 years old, and since he has some genuine OC issues, I always got concerned when he seemed to "obsess" on anything seemingly out of the norm for a kid his age. The more I learn about giftedness, however, the more I realize that there's a difference between his OC tendencies and his deep interest in, and love of, letters, numbers, words and ideas. It's just sometimes tough to weed out which is which. Anyone else with a dc like this? I would love to hear more.

[eilonwy]

This kid is going to have a lot of bumps on his head......and I need to get some serious babyproofing done.

Good to see you again! And best of luck on the babyproofing. BooBah has learned (over the past two weeks) how to climb over a babygate. I put up two gates in the same doorway, and she climbed to the top. She won't go over the second one, but seeing her perched up there and screaming is enough to make my heart stop beating, so I stopped putting the second one up. Now having one baby gate up will only give me enough time to do something quick (like pee) if she's looking out the window when I leave the room. She is quite the little climber! Where's the "monkey" smilie? :LOL

[loraxc]

Just a quick poll...

How do you respond when people (especially other parents) say "Wow--she's so smart!"? (Or similar.) I find this an incredibly awkward situation, especially when the kids are present.

[loraxc]

We're also noticing the sense of direction thing, btw (and I also have NONE--to the point where I think there actually may be a spatial learning disability involved). DD gets excited en route to the park, and has taken to saying "Home, home!" when we make the turn onto our street. Right before we get to the house she says "We're home!" So cute.

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by loraxc

Just a quick poll...

How do you respond when people (especially other parents) say "Wow--she's so smart!"? (Or similar.) I find this an incredibly awkward situation, especially when the kids are present.

I usually say, "We think so, too." I grew up with my mom constantly telling me that I was smarter than other people and at the same time telling me what a moron I was. So, someone would say, "Wow, she's really bright," and my mom would say, "If she's so smart, why can't she keep her room clean?" or "yeah, but she's so uncoordinated, she trips over her own feet." The way she talked, the only reason that I appeared to be smarter than anyone was that most people were just this side of retarded. I always felt like a dork, like being smart (if I was really all that bright) was something to be ashamed of, something to hide. I never want my kids to feel that way. I freely acknowledge that I believe that my children are smart kids, but I refuse to get drawn into the "Is your baby better than my baby? How can I make my baby like yours?" discussion. Sometimes I do that by ending the conversation with "We think so, too," and sometimes I will find something to say about their child. Take the little boy who used to live next door to us-- when it came to cars or letters or numbers, BeanBean was lightyears ahead of this child, but when it came to music... well, this kid's ear was so good that I actually thought he was echolalic for a minute. I mean he could repeat anything that was remotely musical back *perfectly*, and he had such a beautiful tone! So when his mother said, "Wow, BeanBean sure knows his cars, he just asked if I drove the Mitsubishi or the Toyota!" I replied, "Yes, he's very interested in cars and loves them. Did you know that your little man has an incredible ear for music? What a beautiful voice!"

I'm so glad to read that there are other adults here who have poor senses of direction and who feel outclassed by their toddlers. :LOL I've always known that I had a poor sense of direction, and I've hoped that the kids would inherit Mike's almost ubelievable direction sense, but I wasn't expecting BeanBean to pass me by before his second birthday. :LOL I'm still totally amazed by it, it's just so foriegn to me. I couldn't have quickly and unthinkingly told my right from my left before I was 14 and decided to teach myself piano. :LOL Of course, I think that's partly a hazard of being ambidextrous. :LOL

[oldcrunchymom]

I have a good sense of direction, but I have to ask Hollis for math stuff and general little factoids all the time. It's getting embarrassing, actually. My 9yo knows more than I do. :

With regards to the "Your kid is so smart" comments, I just agree with them and try to point out something good about their kid as well. I don't engage in those conversations much anymore unless someone seems genuinely interested. People get offended too easily.

[isisjade]

[

[teachma]

Originally Posted by loraxc

Just a quick poll...

How do you respond when people (especially other parents) say "Wow--she's so smart!"? (Or similar.) I find this an incredibly awkward situation, especially when the kids are present.

I often say something like, "Yeah, he has an incredible vocabulary," or, "He remembers more than I do!" Those are two true, specific statements that I like ds to hear about himself. Once, when he was 2.5 years old, he made the spontaneous remark from the back seat of the car, "I'm pretty much smarter than every other kid, right?" Of course, I feel I handled it appropriately, but I worried that it came from his hearing from others how smart he was all the time, and it kind of stuck with me. So rather than the blanket statement, I feel more comfortable with his recognizing specific strengths...which also allows him to recognize the specific talents of other kids.

[loraxc]

Those are two true, specific statements that I like ds to hear about himself.

This is a good approach for me, I think. Thanks.

We've been saying, "She's very verbal," if we have our wits about us. At other times I tend to resort to "She's a chatterbox!" Ennh.

[allgirls]

Originally Posted by loraxc

Just a quick poll...

How do you respond when people (especially other parents) say "Wow--she's so smart!"? (Or similar.) I find this an incredibly awkward situation, especially when the kids are present.

I say "Yeah, we think so" and smile...

[Charles Baudelaire]

HA!! It sounds like yours and mine would get along like peaches and cream -- the other day, she said, "Mama, I love you; moreover, I will always love you."

Originally Posted by teachma

When, several weeks after his first b-day, I asked my ds one night, "Would you like to brush your teeth now?" he shook his head 'yes,' then immediately followed up with, "Actually, no!" My mom and I were hysterical! He has loved that word ever since, along with other qualifiers like ordinarily, supposedly, occasionally. At 4.5 years old, he will also consistently choose the fanciest vocabulary word he knows to express an idea. If someone asks which flavor ice cream he would like, he'd say, "My preference is..." If he's asked, "What do you think about X?" he will reply, "I believe.." He consciously chooses the big words, though, and you can almost see a sly expression on his face when he uses them. He LOVES words. He sometimes speaks in humorous rhyming couplets for fun! All that said, he has not been officially labeled gifted. We are seeing a counselor for OCD-type issues currently, and she is trying to persuade me to get him tested. I have mixed feelings on whether to do it.

[Charles Baudelaire]

Originally Posted by loraxc

Just a quick poll...

How do you respond when people (especially other parents) say "Wow--she's so smart!"? (Or similar.) I find this an incredibly awkward situation, especially when the kids are present.

I usually just say, "Thank you; we're very lucky."

[LeftField]

Originally Posted by Charles Baudelaire

I usually just say, "Thank you; we're very lucky."

I was just about to post that this is what we say. I just say, "thank you", because I'm not sure what else to say. I'm not trying to assume credit; it's more like a sentiment of, "thank you for the compliment". I feel a bit flustered by these sorts of general remarks, but "thank you" comes easily and seems appropriately humble. Like, the other day after ds1's eye appt, the dr pulled me aside on the way out and whispered, "He's very bright!!". I wasn't sure what I should have said, so I just said, "Thank you."

Now, if it's a specific comment about a specific skill, my rehearsed line is to say, "Yes, he really enjoys doing skill-xyz." I learned that on another list, after a friend confronted me on a puzzle I was buying for my son. She basically told me that I was buying an inappropriate toy and that her older son wasn't close to being able to use something on that level. That was my first big experience with hostile, disbelieving parents and I was so taken aback and uncomfortable that I basically downplayed ds' abilities right in front of him. I learned from the people on the list that something like, "He does enjoy his puzzles." would be a humble but factual line to slightly diffuse the situation without putting my son down.

nak.