How is it with Dad working out of town part time?

[PuppyFluffer]

Any of you moms have a partner who works out of town some?

My dh has been approached with a very interesting job opportunity but it will require travel out of town 3 days a week. He'd work locally 2 days a week and be home on weekends.

We have a 3 year old dd who is pretty mellow tempered...though she is newly 3 and it has challenges that 2 never presented! :LOL :LOL She is very connected to her dad and my dh is very attached to both of us. The travel is the only sticking point to this job.

We are in the ttc mode....so I wonder how being pregnant with a 3 year old and an away dh will be....

Anyone doing this? Anyone btdt? Any input?

PS, we have a very solid marriage with no issues, no secret resentments, no jealousy issues. We are very committed to our family unit and to being happy and to communicating and growing so I am not concerned about marital stability.

[Nosy]

I am going through an extended version of this right now. DH is away for 6 months, not the same as your situation, but it is so hard. DS misses his dad so much and didn't sleep well for the first three weeks. I am pregnant and not having someone around for support is very difficult. My dad was an airline pilot, so he was home for three days, then gone for two most of my childhood. My dad and I were not close at all when I was growing up, and I blame his frequent absences partly for it. I wouldn't do it forever. This is my last separation from DH (he agrees). Sorry to have such a negative perspective. I know there are some mamas on here whose DHs are truck drivers and other jobs that take them away, so maybe they will have better perspectives.

[mumm]

I have btdt. My DP is a pilot who leaves home at 2 AM on day one of the trip and is gone until 11PM on day 3. She then leaves again at 3 AM on day 4 and is gone until 8 PMish the following day. Then she has two days off. depending on the day, I would either say it works fine or it sucks!! It think it is all what you are used to and we've been doing this for 8 years. Her job is just the first 3 days, and then the next two day trip is necessary overtime. :

We have a 2 and 4 year old and we also are ttc. (But for us that means trips to the reproductive endo, so DP doesn't even need to be in the country! ) The nice part is that when she is home, she is home. She doesn't need to be doing anything for work. And when she doesn't pick up the overtime, for whatever reason, she is home for 4 days which is wonderful. Sometimes we use that time like a mini vacation and go camping, other times just to catch up on things around the house. She talks to both kids on the phone at least once a day while she is gone. And the 2 year old stops at every plane passing over head and says "maybe mama?" When DP is home, I am chopped liver! I sometimes feel like she is much closer to them than I am because she gets all the "good" stuff, while I do the necessary things. Like making then brush teeth, and being the general disciplinarian. KWIM?

The not so nice part is that I often feel like a single parent. I've left the kids with my sister twice (both times while I had an IUI appointment at the doctors) and once with my mom (for a night board meetng), but I've never used a sitter. Sometime I just want to check out for a few minutes and eat ice cream alone. :LOL It is also hard when I am sick. I can handle then both being sick, but not when I feel lousy.

Wow. I can write about nothing for a long time. Sorry so long. Hope it helps. Good luck with your decision.

[PuppyFluffer]

Nosy, Six months straight must be terribly hard on your whole family! Thanks for your perspective both from your current situation and your upbringing with your dad gone part time. If my dh takes this job, he's doing it with the mindset that he'll do it for a year and we'll rre-evaluate things and make some decisions from there. It won't be a long term thing.

[PuppyFluffer]

Mumm,
It sounds like you have your situation down pat to have been doing it for 8 years!

I can foresee the feeling like a single parent part. I do have some support around he in the form of our play group. There is one family in particular that keeps my dd occasionally when I have a dentist appointment and such. They parent with the same philosophy as we do (gentle discipline and lots of respect and communication). I know I could rely on a few other moms to help me out if I needed it. I have no family close...which might just be beneficial!

You didn't ramble on about nothing, you gave me some great insight!

How does your partner feel about the time away?