I must say - I just had a great session with her and have treated myself to a very very yummy lunch.
Here's the long and short of it. To recap: I always got very emotional during PMS, usually self-denigration kind of stuff (I'm so fat, I'm so stupid etc etc). I was always keenly aware of what was going on. They even tried medicating me for a while - Lorazepam just if I was feeling PMS-y, but I gave it up after not too long.
Well, my PPD with Sam was dramatic, but short lived. It was about 8-10 weeks of thinking awful thoughts and feeling just utterly terrible. I had been warned that I was a candidate for PPD but coulnd't get past the inertia at the time to do anything about it.
So this time around, the MWs wanted me to talk to this woman sooner rather than later to try to be proactive about things and have someone who had background on me in case I needed it later on. So.
So a few weeks ago I'm in that deep funk and I get on the phone to set up an appointment, which everyone around me agreed was the best thing for me to do.
I have to say, I was really ready and prepared for it and she was really cool. She said that in many cases, PPD comes from a woman's feeling of inadequacy - ie, I'm not good enough to be a mother, I don't know how to do this, etc. She said that in many cases, too, if there is an issue with the birth of something post birth - an unexpected c-section or trouble nursing (I had trouble nursing) that can trigger it in people who are candidates for it. The encouraging news she had for me was that it sound like in my case, it is really that my body is super-tuned in to hormonal changes which is why I have these reactions but also why it ended so abruptly at around 8-10 weeks postpartum when hormone levels start to get back to normal and breastfeeding was on track etc. She said that we won't be able to completely avoid it, but that by managing my stress levels and working through some of the issues that I addressed, that we should be able to make it more manageable. Plus, by having her know me fairly well, we'll also be ok because if I do sink into a bad depression, she will already know me, my life, my issues, my history etc and be able to better help me.
I've got to tell you - I feel great. I was never someone who was big on therapy - I watched my whole family go through it and in the 80s when I was a teenager they kept trying to put me in and all the shrinks said look, you're dealing with normal teenage stuff, and we can help you with it but you are also normal and can handle it on your own if you so choose, which I did. But this time, knowing what happened after Sam was born, I really do want someone to know about the things that set me off, the things that make me feel stressed - and maybe, possibly, help me to work through them a bit. Who knows, maybe it is a sign of maturity, or maybe it is just a typical 30-something kind of reaction to my life as I know it, but I really think this is the right thing. I spoke to DH about it, too, and he was totally wonderful and supportive about what I spoke with her about today and really thinks that I am doing the right thing and is happy to think we can work to manage it without medication and is supposrtive of me trying to work through some of the stresses and insecurities I have. So I am very pleased about it all. better yet, my insurance covers about 50% of each visit, so it is financially manageable, too!
I hope that everyone does know that I take all of this very seriously and I would never belittle anyone else's experience or say that something is definitely going to cause PPD for someone. Obviously we all are different, but the thing to note is that PPD is more prevalent than many people think and I think it is important to deal with the possiblity of it in whatever way is right for each individual. One alternative therapy I have heard is incredibly successful is light therapy, and I'd be interested in that. As well as acupuncture. So if anyone would like to talk more about this topic, I'd be open to sharing moe about my experience and how I plan to deal with it this time around, as well. It is hard for me to admit vulnerabilities, but I know that I need to do that and that it is also ok to not be perfect, and hopefully just being able to say that and know that it is true will helpme to be stronger emotionally this time after delivery.
Here's the long and short of it. To recap: I always got very emotional during PMS, usually self-denigration kind of stuff (I'm so fat, I'm so stupid etc etc). I was always keenly aware of what was going on. They even tried medicating me for a while - Lorazepam just if I was feeling PMS-y, but I gave it up after not too long.
Well, my PPD with Sam was dramatic, but short lived. It was about 8-10 weeks of thinking awful thoughts and feeling just utterly terrible. I had been warned that I was a candidate for PPD but coulnd't get past the inertia at the time to do anything about it.
So this time around, the MWs wanted me to talk to this woman sooner rather than later to try to be proactive about things and have someone who had background on me in case I needed it later on. So.
So a few weeks ago I'm in that deep funk and I get on the phone to set up an appointment, which everyone around me agreed was the best thing for me to do.
I have to say, I was really ready and prepared for it and she was really cool. She said that in many cases, PPD comes from a woman's feeling of inadequacy - ie, I'm not good enough to be a mother, I don't know how to do this, etc. She said that in many cases, too, if there is an issue with the birth of something post birth - an unexpected c-section or trouble nursing (I had trouble nursing) that can trigger it in people who are candidates for it. The encouraging news she had for me was that it sound like in my case, it is really that my body is super-tuned in to hormonal changes which is why I have these reactions but also why it ended so abruptly at around 8-10 weeks postpartum when hormone levels start to get back to normal and breastfeeding was on track etc. She said that we won't be able to completely avoid it, but that by managing my stress levels and working through some of the issues that I addressed, that we should be able to make it more manageable. Plus, by having her know me fairly well, we'll also be ok because if I do sink into a bad depression, she will already know me, my life, my issues, my history etc and be able to better help me.
I've got to tell you - I feel great. I was never someone who was big on therapy - I watched my whole family go through it and in the 80s when I was a teenager they kept trying to put me in and all the shrinks said look, you're dealing with normal teenage stuff, and we can help you with it but you are also normal and can handle it on your own if you so choose, which I did. But this time, knowing what happened after Sam was born, I really do want someone to know about the things that set me off, the things that make me feel stressed - and maybe, possibly, help me to work through them a bit. Who knows, maybe it is a sign of maturity, or maybe it is just a typical 30-something kind of reaction to my life as I know it, but I really think this is the right thing. I spoke to DH about it, too, and he was totally wonderful and supportive about what I spoke with her about today and really thinks that I am doing the right thing and is happy to think we can work to manage it without medication and is supposrtive of me trying to work through some of the stresses and insecurities I have. So I am very pleased about it all. better yet, my insurance covers about 50% of each visit, so it is financially manageable, too!
I hope that everyone does know that I take all of this very seriously and I would never belittle anyone else's experience or say that something is definitely going to cause PPD for someone. Obviously we all are different, but the thing to note is that PPD is more prevalent than many people think and I think it is important to deal with the possiblity of it in whatever way is right for each individual. One alternative therapy I have heard is incredibly successful is light therapy, and I'd be interested in that. As well as acupuncture. So if anyone would like to talk more about this topic, I'd be open to sharing moe about my experience and how I plan to deal with it this time around, as well. It is hard for me to admit vulnerabilities, but I know that I need to do that and that it is also ok to not be perfect, and hopefully just being able to say that and know that it is true will helpme to be stronger emotionally this time after delivery.
