sanitary pads, periods and our children...

[meemee]

how do u handle this? my almost 3 year old only child has remained attached to me with the imaginary umbilical cord. so she follows me to the bathroom even now when i go in. she has seen me use sanitary pad and calls them 'mommy's diapers'. i have been ok with that. she has also noticed the blood in the potty and hasnt said anything now.

last evening she had me rolling on teh floor. she begged me for a pad and then opened it just the way i do and put it on herself just the way i do. down to the very last detail.

now i was laughing about that to another mom this morning. and she made me feel like i was scaring my child for life for letting her see and know so much. i know i did nothing wrong. so was wondering how all of u handle it. if i had a son i would do the same with him too.

this mom talked so strongly about this that she has made me feel really guilty. and i know i shouldnt feel this way. and i know its ok with my dd. now if she got frightened seeing the blood that would be a different thing. but she was v. matter of fact about it.

do any of u not share this part with ur 3 or 4 year olds.

[mamabohl]

well, I haven't had AF in a while, but I see nothing wrong with being open and honest with your child. That other mom is the one who's going to scar her children making a completely natural bodily function into some big secret embarassing thing.

[dziejen]

We are very open and honest with our girls -- they are with me in the bathroom all the time and we have discussed tampons and pads and now we are discussing pregnancy and childbirth. I am straightforward and give them a little info and if they ask more I give them as much as they can handle. I think there is nothing wrong with telling your children factual info --especially since our girls will one day encounter the same body changes!! The way I look at it, it is easier to give small bits of info over time while they are younger than to spring everything on them when they are teens! In fact a friend and her other friend waited to tell their daughters and one of the girls got her period before the "talk" and was horrified. I think you are doing the right thing

[roundpegmom]

My daughters are 5 and 8 and have been in the bathroom with me since they were born. We have been talking about puberty alot lately since 8yo is starting to notice some changes. I have explained to her that the only thing that will happen suddenly is when she starts her period, that one day she will see it and to not be scared. She is not scared because she has seen me taking care of that for years and she knows it does not hurt me or mean that I am injured.

My MIL started when she was 8 and she thought she was dying since no one had ever told her anything. I would rather err on the side of being too open that not open enough when it comes to talking about stuff that will affect the girls.

[kewb]

Both my son & daughter have seen my pantiliners and pads at various times since infancy. They have asked what they are. I have told them that they are something women need at times. They walked away. When they ask for more information I will give it to them.

You have not scarred your dd for life. The woman you told seems to have some issues with a perfectly normal body function.

[flyingspaghettimama]

I'm a really modest person, but it was impossible for me at least to hide my period - I get some wicked cramps and am not up for much for at least a day or so. And a sudden trip to the bathroom + blood while out shopping would make it pretty obvious.

Heck, no! You're not weird for your daughter knowing. I mean, I probably won't invite my daughter in to see me put in a tampon, and didn't feel the need to explain how babies get made at a young age...like I said, I'm pretty modest. But I did tell her, simply, that when you're a grown-up woman this happens when your body is not going to have a baby, every month, and that it doesn't hurt at all. She never seemed bothered by it or disturbed in the least. For some reason, she's always called cramps "spirals in your tummy" and the only time she was worried was when she's had stomach cramps from the flu or something and asked if it was the same as me. :LOL I did correct the "mommy's diaper" thing though because that weirded me out - even though it's truly practically the same thing. I just like to imagine in my own mind it's not! I remember a few years back a manufacturer coming out with basically a woman's diaper for period use. Needless to say, they were not hot sellers and no longer available.

She used to love to take the pads apart (you know, kids and tape of any sort! Plus the "package"/gift effect). We needed to put the pads up for a little while until she outgrew that...

[UnschoolnMa]

I just tell them about what a period is. Simple as that

[umefey]

That other lady sounds a bit

[maya44]

I personally would never let my kids in the bathroom with me. Just my personal body privacy feelings. I don't feel bad about being private, its just my personality.

But even I see NOTHING wrong with what you did. If you are comfortable like this its great. Maybe your kids will turn out like this. But don't count on it. My parents were alot more open with me. I never had a problem with that at all, but just am personally more private.

[flyingspaghettimama]

Originally Posted by maya44

But even I see NOTHING wrong with what you did. If you are comfortable like this its great. Maybe your kids will turn out like this. But don't count on it. My parents were alot more open with me. I never had a problem with that at all, but just am personally more private.

My parents were really, really open as well. You could even say "absolutely no sense of boundaries or age-appropriate discussions." I am much more circumspect and find bodily privacy to be an important thing to me.

But to each their own, and I'm sure that how you approach the subject and notice the child's comfort level is what counts. Sounds like you did a good job of that, meemee.

[onlyzombiecat]

My 5 year old dd has noticed and asked questions about my period for a couple of years.
I've explained what a period is and what the pad is for... very matter of fact. More detail as she gets older. I don't hide it because there isn't anything gross or scary about it. She knows she will get a period someday too.
I think it will scar a child more by waiting until she is actually hitting puberty to suddenly spring the topic on her.

[4evermom]

I wish I had a photo of my ds, around age 2, using a tampon as a microphone. He could never tolerate being alone long enough for me to have any privacy and he is very inquisitive so he knows all about it. He likes to peel the backing off pads for me. When he was younger, in diapers, he would want one too, so a couple times I stuck one inside his diaper. I'm glad he has stopped sticking them on the walls, that would be a sight if we had company and I didn't round them all up. It's nice that I can find them when I need them these days (ds is almost 4).

[the sunshine]

My dd is 8; I've always been very open about bodily functions. She's a girl, it's going to happen to her, why hide it? Why make her feel it's dirty?

She will often get one of my pantiliners and put it on so she can be "just like mom". I think it's cute. I fail to see how it could be at all damaging!

[PadmaMorgana]

DS was very curious a while ago. I just explained that in order for mommies to have babies, like baby DD, they need to bleed. So right now is mommy's time to bleed. It doesn't hurt, the blood just comes out and mommy uses pads and tampons to catch the blood.

Now he is ok with the blood. DD just says Yeck and tries to watch a little too closely :LOL I am fine with them in the bathroom with me, but when they get a little to close (as in inspecting the toilet or trying to figure out where the tampon goes) I tell them that mommy needs a bit of privacy.

DS wants to know where the blood comes from. I tell him from mommy's vagina and explain that it is a private area when he wants to see.

I am hoping the novelty wears off soon. I feel like a circus attraction :LOL

[sincitymama]

Sounds like the other mom has some personal bodily discomfort? I don't think you're scarring your kids at all. The only time that stuff is a poblem is when the children start needing more boundries and parents don't respect that. I dunno, I cetainly *hope* you aren't scarring them! Because my son accompanies me to the bathroom and knows to go into the cabinet under hte sink and hand me supplies-whether or not I need them of course-the same way he tears off peices of toilet paper(miniscule scraps, he's so funny :LOL ) because he sees me do it all the time. He's 18 months old. I do not want the workings of a womans body to be some great big mysterious disgusting secret thing to him-I've met guys like that and it's obnoxious.

[iamama]

nak

my dd was in the pool when ds was born...she's 3.5.

she has seen my pp blood.

she seems fine knowing about what our bodies do.

[meemee]

thank u everyone for sharing ur views. it cetainly makes me feel better.

oh boy i had to LOL at some of the replies though. 4evermom i would have loved to see that picture too. sarahNH loved the 'picture' of handing out supplies where u want it or not.

dziejen i like the idea of giving out info a little at a time instead of the whole thing at one time. but really i want to wait for questions before i provide the answer.

loraeileen - my dd did the same too. when seh did i just bought her a cheap box of pads and let her have a week of celebration with it and then she was done. recently she has been obsessed with bandaids and so i gave her a pack of cheap ones. there are bandaids all over the house now that i have to unstick. well it took her 80 bandaids and two weeks to be done with the phase. i am so sorry u have those bad cramps. i had them till i had my dd and now they are all gone. whew!!!

maya44 thanks for sharing ur story. my mom was v permissive too and i assumed my dd would be too. i'll certainly not make assumptions about it any more.

[flyingspaghettimama]

Originally Posted by 4evermom

He likes to peel the backing off pads for me. When he was younger, in diapers, he would want one too, so a couple times I stuck one inside his diaper. I'm glad he has stopped sticking them on the walls, that would be a sight if we had company and I didn't round them all up.

Ha. Yeah, that's why we had to start putting them out of reach for a little while - I'd forget to pick up one of her peeling experiments and someone would come over and there'd be an (unused!) pad just stuck to the living room floor under a table.

The funny thing is that usually people wouldn't say anything, they'd just have this strange look on their face...why is a sanitary pad stuck underneath the table? For what purpose?

These were people without kids, as you might guess.

[Ruthla]

I remember my dd once put a (cloth) sanitary napkin inside her diaper- she had me cracking up too!!

Ds follows me to the potty half the time. He's watched me empty my DivaCup, rinse it out in the sink, and re-insert it. What's [I]really[.I] funny is the way he stares at my crotch trying to figure out where it went!! :LOL

At this point, the only thing I'm concerned about re: menstruation and my children is being prepared when dd gets hers!!

[TiredX2]

Both DD (6) & DS (3.75) have seen it, know about "it" etc...

*I* wouldn't mind a bit more privacy when inserting the Diva Cup, but other than that...