Feel guilty using stroller..I'm nuts right?

[kbridi]

I have a stroller and have only used it a few times. Whenever I think of using it, I feel guilty, like I'm not being the best mom I can. I could always wear him, I think to myself.

But after wearing him much of the day, it would be nice to take a walk outside and not have him on my body(especially since it's so hot out). (I have back carriers, Ergo, Kelty, but they are still hot when it's 90+ degrees out.)

I know AP is about responding to your child's needs and I don't think it will hurt him to use the stoller once or twice a week, do you?

Please tell me I shouldn't feel guilty -- and I can get out there an use it once in a while.

What do you think?????

[LazureFairie]

Don't feel guilty, you are a wonderful mama! I have used a stroller occasionally with my attached babies and they actually like it--I noticed though they like to look at me, and I have a stroller that the handle reverses so they can face me.

[RedWine]

Don't feel bad. I never used one for dd1, but I sometimes do for dd2. It's very hot and humid here, and dd2 gets very fussy when carried while we're outside. She's happier in a stroller (away from my body heat). So that's where I put her when she's fussy.

[chasmyn]

Don't feel bad at all. My first son LOVED his stroller. It had a tray for his snacks, and a cupholder for his drink, and when we went out strolling in the neighborhood he could look all around. He loved it.

I would have loved to have been able to carry him anywhere but I have a very bad back and sometimes he was just too heavy for me. Stroller was perfect for both of us.

[Ellp]

I feel the same way. I got together with a AP mom's group recently and I was the only one to have a stroller. I felt really bad, and that I had to explain to everyone that I have pretty bad scoliosis and can't carry Dd as much as I would like without crippling back pain by the end of the day.

I really had to do some soul searching about this and figured that AP is what is best for mom and baby, and if mom's back was out, she wouldn't be able to care for baby to the best of her ability. So now I use the stroller anytime I'm outdoors and have to carry Dd for more than 20 min. because that's all my back can take.

[jilly]

I didn't use my stroller for a while, because we have a backpack carrier that he really likes. But I've found it puts ds into "the zone" and totally mellows him, so now I use it if he's really fussy or I want to be able to set him somewhere to sleep if we're somewhere. I felt guilty the first few times, but he likes it and it gives my back a break now that he's over 20 lbs. And sometimes you just both need to zone out a bit and be together, but not in such direct contact. KWIM?

[AngelBee]

We use a stroller alot. Mostly becasue dd doesn't like to walk and sometimes ds1 still wants a ride!

We are at dancecompetitions on weekends sometimes for up to 14 hours a day. I would be lost without my stroller. It becomes our closet on wheels. Holds sleeping or cranky kids, lunch, dipes, toys, blankets......you get the point.

I still bring carriers for Angelo and Abby.

[oceanbaby]

Don't feel guilty. Bring a carrier with you, and if he cries, pick him up.

And enjoy your walk!

[kbridi]

Thank you all for your support. I'll give it a try and see how he likes it. My main method will be a carrier, but on hot days, and when we both need to zone out (as PP said) I'll try the stoller.

Thank you!

[Shell]

Every day, in the wee hours of the morning, when it is still cool outside, dd and I stroll for about an hour. She LOVES it! She looks up at all the trees, at the dogs that are all being walked before people go to work, at all the flower gardens in our community.

In the evening we usually sling and go for a walk. And we almost always sling when we're shopping, because it is just easier. But to DD it makes no difference, she certainly doesn't feel a lack of love because we put her in a stroller!

There is so much love for our babies -- that they couldn't possibly feel like they are loved less because they are in a stroller sometimes. We need to use all the tools in the toolbox - and everything in moderation. AP mommas can really beat ourselves up! My thing is that I feel tremendously guilty when I sneak away from sleeping dd (like I am now) and that there is the remote possibility that she will wake up without me there and wonder where the heck I am. I feel so guilty for not being by her side! But it's just not practical -- and I am convinced that she doesn't really feel less loved, she is just wondering where I am.

I don't know about anyone else, but I can't stand judgmental AP mommas! There is no "one way." If your babe was crying in the stoller, I imagine you would pick him/her up. That is AP.

Relax!

[Llyra]

I use a stroller more and more often as DD gets older (and, not coincidentally, as the weather gets hotter!) and I find she actually likes it a lot. It a different experience than walking with her in arms-- we interact a lot less, but it's very relaxing for both of us. I don't think it's right for a babe to spend a TON of time strapped in to a stroller, but it's actually really nice every once in a while. I find I get out more when I give myself the option of the stroller, where if the sling was my only option I might just say the heck with it and just stay home. And it's definitely good for mama AND baby to get out, so I'm glad I have my stroller.

I have a real problem with tiny newborn babies spending their days in a stroller, though (but that doesn't apply to you, Kim!). I think a babe that tiny NEEDS to be in physical contact as much as possible, either with its mama or some other loving person who fills in while mama takes a break. Babies can't go from the total connection of the womb, to the total separation of a stroller, without a few transitional months.

[Shell]

I want to add that my dd didn't go in the stroller until she was six months old. Not only didn't we really want her in the stroller (I agree with pp that babies that little really need the closeness of a sling or arms), but the few times we tried she would have nothing to do with it! She cried instantly!

Then one day, around six or six and a half months, she started loving it.

Listen to your babe -- they will tell us what they like/don't like.

[LEAW]

My dd made her needs known, she refused the stroller until after 4 months. And I was really pleased with that because I got to sling and carry and cuddler her more.

BUT when she wanted to sit (and she still doesn't sit unsupported) she started to LOVE the stroller. She can sit facing me while I eat and talk to me, look around, etc. and I think the face to face aspect is so much more important than her being on my lap while I try to eat lunch.

But under the stroller in the basket is always a sling or carrier or sometimes both. And I still have to sling her in the grocery because there is no place for her in the cart (she's too big for the bucket) and I can't shop and push a cart and a stroller at the same time!

Like a pp said, I too have scoliosis and a shoulder injury, so I'm pretty much limited to carriers w/2 shoulder and waist support (we're going back and forth with a mei tai and the ergo now) because putting her 17.5 # self on one shoulder for more than 5 min. means I will be crying in pain by the evening. So I keep the maya in the car for the days I need to hold her and need both hands for packages or something, and make one trip from the car to the house/store/etc.

[VikingKvinna]

Hey, if it gets you out and about with your child, by all means use the stroller. And don't feel guilty. It's not as if you are plunking him in a stroller and leaving him there all day while you sit on a park bench and smoke cigarettes and drink Thunderbird.

I wish we had a "decent" stroller -- we just never got one. We got a couple of umbrella strollers from friends with kids, and SIL sent us one of those thingies that makes the baby-bucket carseat into a stroller -- which of course is completely useless after they're out of the bucket. But she's like that. Anyhoo, I'd take DS out a lot more if we had a good stroller with snack tray, luggage rack, cupholder, etc. I hate the umbrella stroller and I never really mastered babywearing (: I know, I know -- am going to try again with new babe) although DP did.

HTH! Enjoy your walks!
~Nick

[addiesmom]

Don't feel guilty! If he likes it - use it! If he fusses, pick him up!

[cuddlebug]

Dont feel guilty. I use my buggy sometimes. It's great for when we just want to go on a walk, pluss you can store things under it. ds loves going in his buggy, but sometimes he fusses a bit and I put him in the sling and I still have the buggy to hold all our stuff, and like someone said, it's nice when it's hot out for keeping the both of us a little cool. I didn't feel comfortableAP is about responding to thier needs. Since you are questioning this you obviously have your babies best intrest at heart.
Yvonne

[thismama]

I wear my baby a lot, and I almost ALWAYS use a stroller during a heat wave. It wouldn't occur to me to feel guilty... it's no fun for babe or I to be tied together in even more fabric on a sweltering day.

If baby cries, I pick her up (or let her walk now, she's 20 mos).

You're right on when you say it's about meeting baby's needs. And mama's. It really is not a checklist.

[jstar]

yep you're nuts :LOL just kiddin

with my 27 pounder there is no way i am wearing him everywhere. talk about heavy. i do a combo of ergo and stroller. he loves both. he's always walking over to the stroller on the back porch 'da!' 'da!' (that! that!) and nodding.

[kbridi]

Ok, I feel much better. Thank you all!

[kater07]

DD has never been in the stroller. DS only started using it when he could ask to ride in it. I put him in it a few times when he was tiny to take him for walks, and I always felt awful for it. Yes, we're both nuts. I haven't used it for DD yet b/c 1. DS would have a fit and 2. I feel awful just thinking about her laying in there when she could be in my arms.

I don't think it's bad to use the stroller if you need it. I do like to see babies in the arms of their mamas though.