Lying to your children. - Page 2

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by bleurae

on my final on every question I didn't know I wrote "It's just dirt". But then, I was a punk-ass lil shit in my twenties.

Totally off topic, but this had me rolling! :

[ledzepplon]

Originally Posted by oceanbaby

And I feel like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are totally different (although I admit to having a hard time telling ds that a man comes down the chimney to delivery presents). I can't explain why exactly, but they feel different to me. My parents did Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny, and were also pretty careful never to lie to us

I think the reason this feels different to some of us is that we're not lying to deceive our kids, we're just engaging in a fantasy with them. For example, at some point they'll find out that Santa isn't real (probably a lot sooner than most of us parents realize--I know I pretended that I still believed in Santa a couple years longer than I really did) and I don't think it'll be an earth-shattering revelation.

[flapjack]

Originally Posted by eilonwy

Totally off topic, but this had me rolling! :

Me too. Not a soil scientist, though I took a lot of earth sciences courses- I'm technically what you'd call a professional layabout. Part of it's religion (pagan) but I'm just a geek, really. :

[bleurae]

I try and be honest at all times to my son and do notice the "white lie" thing but I try and make sure I am in my integrity when I do ex. we will come back tomorrow, there will be another one soon, maybe today. Much of the santa stuff I am undecided, I did love that my mom was very into those things, who knows.


Last OT comment

On my bumber the sticker "Tree Hugging Dirt Worshipper"
One of my dogs name is Dirt, but it is short for Dirt Dah Der but her daughter, our other dog is Henrietta Clodette as in lil dirt clod

ok done



bleu

mama to bliss

[lilyka]

this whole dirt thing is cracking me up.

back on topic though. my kids just never bought the whole santa clause thing and tooth fairy and we never did the easter bunny. They think santa clause is real like micky mouse is real. they seriously think he is is just another creation of disney which totally cracks me up. my oldest was 6 when she lost her first tooth and my 5 year old doesn't even have a wiggle. It was totally obvious to them that either the tooth fairy is very unfair in her inconsistant gifts under people pillows (how come jossee gets make up, Hannah gets books, I get $2 and Jane gets $.50? ) It wasn't more than her second tooth before she plopping stuff in the grocery cart saying "I think the tooth fairy should bring me this next time "we do the fantasy and make up the stories and play the games but when they ask me right out if Santa/tooth fairy is real there is no way I am saying yes honey, you just need to believe in your heart . . . Usually its "of course you know he is *wink* *wink*. oooohhh OK mom . . .sure mom . . *wink wink*

man that whole cookie thing was so wrong. someone should have been off baking that child some cookies. poor baby. who does that? idiots.

[FreeSpiritMama]

Originally Posted by Willowrose

Both DH and I do not tell lies to our boys. I have had a friend or family member say something far fetched and I've made it clear that I don't want my boys told fibs. Even if its to save us from a tantrum. I just don't believe in sugar coating things, even if it might be easier at times.

:

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by lilyka

man that whole cookie thing was so wrong. someone should have been off baking that child some cookies. poor baby. who does that? idiots.

We were all pretty ticked off about it. Three years later, she still gets upset when she sees the pictures from the wedding morning.

[Linda on the move]

My DH used to lie to the kids about stupid stuff (like the park example) and I stoped him of it by telling him repeatedly that they would soon learn not to believe anything he said. They would grow up thinking he was full of sh**.

That stopped it.

How I would handle the both of the examples myself is to validate the children's feelings but not offer a solution.

For example, "oh you REALLY liked the helicopter?"

Child "Yes, I love it. I want it to come back."

me "I can see why. It looks to cool."

Child "I Love helicopters."

me "We'll have to keep our eyes out for them. Would you like to look for books about helicopters at the library?"

My kids found this kind of thing helpful.