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How do you dress your kids? - Page 5

post #81 of 130
I'm so not trying to be snarky or anything, but I guess it makes me sad that it seems like such a large percentage of mommas here are so preoccupied or consumed by their children's appearance and equate matching bows and socks and fully coordinated outfits somehow with good, attentive parenting (I'm being facetious, not literal).

It has been so liberating and such a learning experience for me to force myself to not force my will or ideas about appearances onto my dd. And I could give a flying leap what other people think about her appearance. I just wonder about the mommas that posted about it being very important to them that their children always maintain a certain standard in their appearances, do you consider at all the message you are sending to them or how it may effect their sense of self or even their self-esteem? I'm not flaming.. I am genuinely asking for your thoughts.

DD picks out her own clothes. I rarely buy her clothes without her being present and allowing her full input on what we buy. I love, love, love watching the outfits she comes up with... the other day she wore a bright rainbow colored striped shirt, purple leggings with a pastel pink, green and blue butterfly and flower pattern on them, navy blue sox with white sandals and a black Black Hawks hat that her uncle gave her. I love the way she rocks her own style and her personality and vibe just shine so bright and it makes me feel so damn good that I'm not imposing any ideas of beauty or fashion or matching.. I mean why the heck do clothes need to match and who the heck decided which colors match... what does that even mean?

My own personal style has become much less constrained and creative since dd started rocking her own outfits. Her style inspires me to be more playful and much less fashion conscious (not that I ever was too much).

I'm mainly bringing this up because I recommend just letting go a bit, because if you can get past initially feeling like "omg, how can I leave the house with her looking like that?" (which I went through silently on the inside early on) it starts to feel really good to be raising someone who is getting to be exactly who they are and is forming their own preferences and style and personality without any pressure or control to be someone else's vision or idea of what's presentable and attractive. And, as an added incentive, there are no power struggles over clothes, which on its own makes it worth it.
post #82 of 130
My only requirement is that the kid and the clothes are clean. Beyond that, it's really anything goes....although I do try to make sure that they are at least a little bit coordinated, unlike dh :LOL

I was walking in the park during my work day a few weeks back and ran into dh and the kids. I work in a museum which sits in a park just a few blocks from home. Anyway, upon seeing me ds wanted to come over to the Museum. So while dh and ds went to our space science exhibit area I took dd down to my office. She was filthy...dirty face, clothes, ick! I was so made at dh for taking her out of the house like that.

His defense was that he'd not planned on stopping by my office. To me it doesn't matter, out of the house I want my kids to be clean. < sigh >
post #83 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shonahsmom
to not force my will or ideas about appearances onto my dd. And I could give a flying leap what other people think about her appearance.
I am this way too. I mean as they have gotten older we have explained that other people often do judge, for whatever reason, by appearances but what that means for them and how they dress is personal. Many people don't like my son's shirts ("Don't worry stupid. You can still get your GED" type messages. Which is totally funny because Dh and I have a GED, and both kids will too :LOL), his baggy pants, or his stocking cap but he wears them anyway.

My Dd has chosen to wear a stained shirt to the store and to dinner before. Her choice, and if others do not like it they don't have to look
post #84 of 130
i personally dress in odd/provocative ways, although lately i just don't have the time to put a lot of thought into my wardrobe, so i've toned down a bit. i think people expect/expected me to dress my daughter the same ways, but i don't really.

for the most part, i just make sure that her clothes match and she has two matching socks (one of my trademarks is mis-matched knee socks). i also try to dress her in colours that look good on her (she hasn't decided what her favourite colour is yet), and not necessarliy colours that I like. people buy her lots of orange things because i like orange, but she's more a pink and blue-type.

i hope i'm making sense. when the time comes for her to pick out her clothes, anything goes. as long as she's wearing more than rubber boots and a hat, of course
post #85 of 130
[QUOTE]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shonahsmom
I'm so not trying to be snarky or anything, but I guess it makes me sad that it seems like such a large percentage of mommas here are so preoccupied or consumed by their children's appearance and equate matching bows and socks and fully coordinated outfits somehow with good, attentive parenting (I'm being facetious, not literal).
I wouldn't say you sound snarky. Wee bit judgmental maybe. Surley you aren't assuming that parents who like their kids to dress nicely aren't nurturing their innder self worth? I think that's a hige blanket statment and really unfair. Would you go in the diapering forum and say that? Babywearing? Are those bad mothers because their kids have cute diapers? Because they care if their kids has cute diapers? Slings?


Quote:
do you consider at all the message you are sending to them or how it may effect their sense of self or even their self-esteem? I'm not flaming.. I am genuinely asking for your thoughts.

I really don't put that much thought into it. They're clothes. They match. Why is that a bad thing? It's now bad to teach your children to take pride in their apperance and hygeine?

Not saying hamper every spark of creativity or dress them in baby D&G but for goodness sakes. There has got to be a happy medium between mismatched stained cloths and new designer clothes and accessories.
post #86 of 130
Shonahsmom and UnschoolnMa, you both rock!
post #87 of 130
my levi is 2 and way too grown up for mommy to pick out his clothes. it drives me nuts! i want to make him all cute but he has his favorite clothes. he loves the "im a big brother" shirt that has a picture of baby nash on it, and he insists on wearing it all the time. He loves his cowboy boots and beads...yes i said beads. a little girl gave him beaded necklaces and he has to wear them ALL the time. right now he is wearing shorts, boots and two bead necklaces. i hate it but he is happy so i deal with it.
post #88 of 130
Knit cotton dresses with knit cotton pants (if it's chilly ).
It's sort of our "uniform" for dressing her because she is the spit-up queen and needs dry clothes several times a day!
Slightly OT, but I wear jeans, a tee-shirt and a zip-up hoodie every day. I think having a wardrobe for myself and DD that is basic is so much more SAHM friendly.
post #89 of 130
I do not care if their clothes are perfect, but I refuse to take my children out looking dirty and unkempt. Now, sometimes they get dirty while we are out, but that is different. No bare feet, either. Before we leave, I wash faces and hands, and we comb hair. They have on clean clothes before we leave.
post #90 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa
I am this way too. I mean as they have gotten older we have explained that other people often do judge, for whatever reason, by appearances but what that means for them and how they dress is personal. Many people don't like my son's shirts ("Don't worry stupid. You can still get your GED" type messages. Which is totally funny because Dh and I have a GED, and both kids will too :LOL), his baggy pants, or his stocking cap but he wears them anyway.

My Dd has chosen to wear a stained shirt to the store and to dinner before. Her choice, and if others do not like it they don't have to look

OT, I know, but if you are a homeschooler, wouldn't your children get a diploma? I am not snarking, I am really curious.
post #91 of 130
I'm somewhere in the middle too. I do generally want their clothes to match, and be clean, but I don't buy a lot of dressy or frou-frou clothes. Ds spent most of last winter in sweatpants with matching t-shirts. I gave up on matching shoes and hair ties for dd except when we are doing something fairly fancy. She's got a shoe fetish and whines all day if I don't let her pick out the ones she wants to wear. And she hates having her hair done. I only force the issue for gymnastics (it's actually a rule at the gym that girls with long hair must wear it up) and teeball. For ds, I try to keep his hair short enough that it rarely needs a brush, and stick to really basic shoes-- 1 pair of sandals, 1 pair of sneakers, 1 pair of dress shoes-- so they go with everything.
post #92 of 130
My baby is 2 weeks old. I really like for him to have on cute matching outfits all the time, even just at home. I think DH thinks it's silly. DH has been doing the laundry since the birth and he died a small load of baby cloths a funny shade of blue green somehow. The white stuff turned out fine because now it's just pale blue green. But the yellow stuff turned a nasty puke green color. So, I was complaining that we were out a pair of socks when we don't have many. And DH was like, "Well who else sees him but us most of the time?" But I just can't bear to put those socks on him! :LOL

I really enjoying buying him cloths and cloth diapers. And I love picking out outfits for him. I like having the diapers match the outfits. I guess it is silly...but he looks so darn cute!

Now as for the hair...I think it's cute when it's messed up. He was born with a good amount of strawberry blonde hair. It is so cute and even cuter when it's sticking up all over the place.
post #93 of 130
At home I'm all about comfort. Ds is 13 months and spends most of his time in a diaper and nothing else. He's always been a warm little guy so why put unnecessary layers of clothes on him?

When we are out I dress him in simple clothes. Jumpers and stuff. Nothing fancy. I am more a stickler about him being clean and his clothes being clean and in good repair. Beyond that, I don't care.

It's funny because I LOVE fashion and I think it's sooo cute when I see little kids dressed up in matching outfits. I just can't bring myself to do it though because of the expense (they outgrow stuff so fast) and the hassle of getting him in and out of the outfits. I would just never have guessed I'd be so laid back about it!
post #94 of 130
Cute, comfy and used. Without logos, and in nice colors. I love quality cottons and I am all about Saver's Hannas etc. I'd buy a used and faded Hanna over a new gap *any* day. Even if the used Hanna/Boden/Oilily/Bateau etc was more $ over a sale Gap. There is no comparrison. My kids seem not to care about certain brands, although i always try to buy what is considered to be 'in style'.

I always look for the crappy Abercrombie shit for my teen and my teen dd has Limted crap in case she needs it.
post #95 of 130
I must admit to being a total slacker mom as far as my first child's clothes were concerned; I look at pictures of her now and feel a bit embarassed at some of the - ahem - outfits she wore (mostly secondhand, I really just didn't care that much and she preferred to be naked most of the time at home so I wasn't too focused on clothes). With my second (a boy), for some reason I cared more (maybe those pictures had an effect : ). He was always dressed pretty spiffy, and now, to get me back , my daughter is very particular as far as clothes go. I indulge her to the best of my limited $ ability (her fave is Hanna Andersson, go Ebay!).
post #96 of 130
At home, my boys wear mostly cotton gray or navy shorts and solid tee-shirts. On days when we stay home, I don't brush their hair or wash their faces unless they are really messy after eating or something.

They do have some very cute matching outfits, Hannas mostly, that I enjoy dressing them in when we go out. My oldest ds LOVES dressing like his brother!

Clothing has never been a power struggle for us. I literally can count on one hand the number of times ds1 has told me he doesn't want to wear what I've chosen for him. I don't know if it's because our clothing is fairly bland (ie no cartoon character shirts, etc), but we've just never had a problem.
post #97 of 130
When buying their clothes, I look for comfort and quality. Mainly Gap, Gymboree, Hanna, some Target and I buy everything used except underwear. I don't but things that are terrilby stained but I know that they will end up that way in a matter of time and I'm okay with that. I kind of know my 6-year-old's "style" and try to buy things that I think that she would like. Usually I'm right on. She's been picking out her own clothes since she was about 3. I gave up on "matching" long ago! :LOL She has her favorites, like her Hanna hot pink and orange plaid skirt. And she loooooves cheetah prints! She will wear sandals with sweats, tennis shoes without socks and flowered tights with a cheetah skirt. I love that she expresses herself through what she wears! I try not make a judgement on what she wears, as long as she doesn't pull it out of the hamper. But she will wear "dirty" clothes out and I have no problem with that if she doesn't. If we've been at the park all day and her clothes show it, that's fine. I will not ask her to change if we're going out to eat or the store or whatever. Sometimes now she will want to change when she gets something on her outfit, but sometimes not. The watermelon juice dripping down her shirt and the grass stains on her knees are just sometimes part of her day. We're certainly not out to impress anyone when we're doing our grocery shopping! :LOL

I have also been known to have my kids out and about with dirty faces. Honestly, I think that sometimes I just don't notice. : My mom freaks out about it. I always tell her, if it bothers you so much then wipe it (if you can catch them first!) For the baby, I pick out her outfits and I do have fun dressing her sometimes! She usually does "match" somewhat but that's because she lets me and has no preferences of her own. Though lately, she has been grabbing things and trying to put them on herself! My kids bathe regularly (baby every day and 6-year-old at least 3 times a week). Their clothes are washed and taken care of. But honestly, I could not care less what others think of how they look when we are out. They are happy in what they are wearing and well taken care and that's what matters. If someone chose to think that I was neglecting my kids because they happen to have gotten dirty one day then that makes me sad. Oh, and the same goes for me, I am KNOWN for spilling food on myself and sometimes my clothes show it! I I will leave the house without brushing my hair too. : And I love clothes. : :
post #98 of 130
I enjoy dressing my kids, but I am going for the "funky" look rather than the "clean and coordinated" look. All of my kids' clothes are soft, 100% cotton, colorful and unordinary. Lukas is pretty particular about what he will wear, Jasper mostly couldn't care less. Neither of them likes to wear jeans. . . even the really soft stretchy ones. . . Luke's favorite color is pink, so anything pink, he'll wear happily. For the most part, their outfits (and mine) don't clash, but they almost always look unusual and different. People are always telling me they love my kids' clothes.

Sometimes I think we do all look like ragamuffins, but in my family, that's a term of endearment.

We also have some "rules" about clothing: must be gender neutral, no appliques, no brand names, nothing cutesy (nothing we wouldn't wear ourselves), shoes must be well made and flexible (barefeet are totally acceptable unless we're someplace where shoes are required), and no collars (too preppy).

I buy most of their clothes white and dye them in all sorts of odd and fabulous colors. Sometimes we do batik too. We have some hannas, and some consignment shop stuff, and some from growgrowgrow. I will be sad when I'm no longer allowed to pick out their outfits.
post #99 of 130
My son went out today with shorts, gumboots and a hoody on backwards.... I pick my battles and this falls pretty far down on that list!
post #100 of 130
my approach is very relaxed...I let her be a free spirit and dress pretty much however she wants. She wears natural fibers, no black or really dark colors, no logos or tv characters and comfy are what I look for when buying her clothes and they all come from thrift stores or ebay occasionally I will pick up something at old navy.

recently while I was cleaning out her old clothes and she was trying on everything and a few of those items have ended up in her regular wardrobe, things like cotton pants that are now short capris or onesies that are now shirts. She loves hats and has all kinds, one is from Halloween its a fuzzy bear hat which she calls a dog and wears it all the time

Sometimes she looks pretty funky~ not in a bad way though, I luv to see the outfits she puts together...people do give us some looks but, I KNOW the kind of mom I am even when I lose it and get snarky with her in public and other people may be judging me for it and I dont care what they think. personally, i feel being very concerned with looks and what people are going to think is a waste of time, being true to yourself is what matters.
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