having a bad day with high-need toddler - need support - Page 2

[EllasMama]

Hi Cindi - I proposed the same thing a while back. Here's the thread:

http://mothering.com/discussions/sho...spirited+board

I guess overall the answer was "no" but I still kind of think it would be a good idea. I get really tired of hearing people say how mellow, content, and fabulous their kids are because they breastfeed, co-sleep, etc. Umm, we do all those things, too, so don't go patting yourself on the back because the heavens granted you a child who loves to sleep all night and does nothing but smile and coo all day. Your child just isn't LIKE my child, okay!! (Can you tell I'm sensitive about this subject?)

Breathe...

[guest^]

My high need ds is a screamer...anyone else??

I've been reading these other threads on high-needs toddlers!

I can relate with the mommy frustration, though my little ds who is 17 mos, doesn't really cry that much, just screams for everything.

It's not like we wait for him to get to that point, he has always just screamed.

We have always truly immediately(w/in reason of course) responded to him.


He has always wanted the food that we have.

He wants whatever we have.


He is the worst shopper(oohhh, I'm so sorry to every parent out htere that I
ve ever judged!!!!) and the worst little one to take out to eat!!!!!


He has always woken up to nurse at least 6 times a night....usually around 8-10.


He is not our first. DD is 6 yo. Totally AP.

When we go anywhere, people will comment,"oh, it sounds like it's naptime or lunchtime...?)

Uh,NOOOO....this is who he is..do I look like a crazy person who'd take my kid out when he should be napping????(ok...I do look crazy, but that is because sleepy people look like they belong on another planet! Right?)

It seriously takes me 1/2 a day sometimes to reply to or even read a post...cause I'm interupted so often....it's 10:00 pm and he is awake for the first time tonight....usually I make it till 11!

He is also lovey dovey,smart, personable....but is just really a screamer and a hitter.

But the screaming is what turns heads....and is making dh and I (but really me!)...fantasize of Canyon Ranch in Tucson....which I know is a really relaxibg spa!!!!!!


This will pass....and I do feel blessed that ds is high need ....it's a tough world out there, and if you're only 17 mos and you only weigh 21 lbs....yet you can scream loud enough to make the 10 yr. old boy at the ST. NICK party to hand over his b-ball....and his cookie too...you've got something going for you. Don't you think?

I will surrender. I will treasure this moment....come on ladies, say it with me...he will go off to college and only call me on Sundays..... .....they are going to be this little for such a short time.






mamapoppins

[dentente]

Hah. My "ordinary" needs toddler broke my nose today while pitching a fit at the bookstore. Not only do I need support, I may need a new nose!

She points at my nose now and says, "Ow. Mama boo-boo. Nose. Nose."

Very funny, kid. I guess you takes the good with the bad here in Toddlerland and you hope you don't lose what's left of your mind in the interim.

Bleh

Denny

[tara]

Re: My high need ds is a screamer...anyone else??

Originally posted by mamapoppins
This will pass....and I do feel blessed that ds is high need ....it's a tough world out there, and if you're only 17 mos and you only weigh 21 lbs....yet you can scream loud enough to make the 10 yr. old boy at the ST. NICK party to hand over his b-ball....and his cookie too...you've got something going for you. Don't you think?

Amen, sister!

[EllasMama]

dentente, I am so sorry!!! DD gave me a black eye recently, but a broken nose, that is awful!

What's interesting is that when I am not in the trying moment, and can reflect and think more, I know my DD loves me and there is a reason for whatever she's doing. But while it is happening I (with my equally fiery temper) am feeling something more like, "I BIRTHED you drug-free, I hold you when you cry, I let you sleep in my bed, I nurse you although you BITE me all the time, I basically gave up any semblance of a life in order to stay home with you and listen to you whine and scream 24x7x365, and THIS is how you repay me, you little bleepity-bleep?!?!?"

The good news is, it's not that way all the time. The better news is that my nose is not broken (yet?). The bad news is that we're all going through something that would try the patience of a saint (and I don't know about you all but I am so far from that).

-Carol

[guest^]

OUCH!

dentente-

Now THAT is what I call earning a "Mommy Badge"!!!

Hope your nose feels better soon!!!



mamapoppins

[ramona_quimby]

Wow, you are all such lovely women! This is a great thread. Thanks again for all of your posts.

He's still high-needs (not sure, but I think I may have been hoping for awhile there that he'd wake up one day and NOT be, haha), but we're hanging in there. Still no friends yet, but I did find one woman who lives south of the city who extended breastfeeds her children. I begged her to hang out one day and was greatly nourished by her friendship. I don't see her much, but it's nice to know she's there.

LLLI is indeed here in Taipei, but they don't have any English-speaking meetings.

mamapoppins, I, too, am really tired of people saying whenever we go out that he must be hungry or tired. I'm also tired of trying to cover for him myself..."oh he's really tired right now" is one of the first things I learned to say in Chinese. Why do I do this? I think I am still learning to accept that he is just very sensitive.

The other day some Taiwanese girls started squealing when they saw his blond hair and wanted to take his picture. The squealing set off my little sensitive boy and he began this uncontrollable sobbing thing that lasted for 15 minutes. The girls felt terrible, truly awful. They just stood and watched him cry, then apologized profusely. I, of course, tried to be light about it and tell them he's just extra-sensitive when he's this tired. (Except that he wasn't tired...<i>sigh</i>)

naturalmama said, "I have had difficulty accepting my DD's spirited personality and spent some time in therapy w/a counselor who helps new moms. I don't think I'll ever really get over the turmoil of our 1st year+."

Yes, yes, I totally agree. I have said the exact same thing so many times. I am in counseling right now. I'd love to have a second child, but the thought of that first year spent trying to find just one thing to make him happy, trying to find out what is wrong, resenting myself and resenting other people with happy babies...it just traumatizes me, the horror of the possibility of going through this again.

Maybe someday...when my heart has healed a little more, when ds is at least a couple years older....

[dentente]

Ramona, I am glad you are feeling at least a little bit better. Basically you can rely upon the notion that your second child will in no way resemble the first in personality. It just does not happen. It's hard work but it has it's rewards. My nose is feeling much better. Not too bad really. I just tell people I had a glamourous nose job Then I introduce them to my surgeon. Heh heh.

Denny

[tara]

off-topic re: babies & noses

Last night while I was nursing him down, mine forcibly shoved his finger up my nose! Ouch, ouch, ouch. It's not broken, though!

Healing vibes to all our hearts & noses!