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Why should I homeschool my child? - Page 3

post #41 of 54
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mandib50
i think whether your child likes homeschooling or not is not a good way to decide to homeschool or not. i mean how is a 6 year old to know when firstly he has no experience with homeschooling and secondly he can't even begin to comprehend the bigger picture as to why you'd homeschool. that argument is silly to me in a way because as parents we make many decisions that our kids don't like because they can't see the bigger picture. mandi
So I should just tell him we are homeschooling him, regardless of how he feels and leave it at that? What if he is upset for a few days, maybe a few weeks, hopefully not a few months, until he realizes that all of our fun homeschooling activities are just as good, if not better, after all? Just grin and bear it throughout that transition time?

I'm definitely trying to avoid a negative transition time. In our home, we do consider the children's thoughts and feelings and explain why things sometimes need to be the way they need to be. With the start of the public school year being 6 weeks away, I believe there is plenty of time for my son's thinking to come around.
post #42 of 54
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by callmemama
I just re-read my post
No problem. I realize it's incredibly easy to misunderstand and be misunderstood on a message board. A typo, a misused word, distraction in the background...they can all cause a meaning that seems to be off. Anyway, I appreciate your comments. Thank you. I'm just trying to figure it all out in my own weird way. :
post #43 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by RiverSky
I have been reading and thinking about Education Majors and I tell you, I am looking differently at that family member who is about to graduate with his Education Degree...
Well, you might be able to offer some tips and advice, since you'll very soon be knowing a lot more about the real nature of learning than your relative has been able to learn in all those years of study.
: - Lillian
post #44 of 54
I'm glad to hear you've decided to give homeschooling a try! Transitions are a bit difficult, but it sounds as though you have good homeschooling support groups around That's always good for socialisation! Now some background about myself and my transition between schooling and homeschooling:

Both dh and I were homeschooled though not for elementary school. My parents taught me how to read at age 3 and I went to a pre-school once or twice a week when I was four, but I did not go to kindergarten so I got to play with the neighborhood kids for an extra year. My parents took me out of public school towards the end of 4th grade (I was still able to go back for story times and Kindergarten Buddies and such at the 4th grade class since I enjoyed those activities and that really helped make the transition easier for me - though I did miss outdoor ed ). I wish my parents had taken me out sooner though. I had no choice in the matter, but I didn't like school very much anyhow and it was far too easy for me (my grades were wonderful!). I spent a lot of school time being bored and being a smart-aleck

When the next school year started (5th grade) I began taking a couple classes at the local homeschool resource center and meeting other homeschoolers (including my husband ). It took me a while to fit in - I've never been very social and I think that going to PS really made that a lot worse... being teased and all - but eventually I did. I started taking band classes when I got to 6th grade (they start in 5th grade now...) and that's where I really found my niche. By high school I was taking every band class offered and just coming to the hs and playing trumpet all day long. I pretty much got a specialised music education and didn't have to worry about how the music fit in with a schedule or with requirements or anything. My senior year was great because I finished all my school work for the year in two months and then I just hung out with my friends and played/wrote music for the rest of the year! I attended a couple classes with friends sometimes just to see what hs was like and I never regretted not taking all the silly requirements I'm also an avid reader and that might have changed had I been required to do certain reading in a certain amount of time (It almost changed when that happened in college...).

Anyhow, back to your son and transition time! (I'm pregnant with a cold and my brain's not quite all there right now so I tend to ramble on just a bit : ) My parents just told me they were taking me out of school (I was almost 10 years old). They didn't ask for my input on whether or not to homeschool, but they made homeschooling much much more fun than school which showed great regard for my feelings. They stressed that I would be able to go at my own pace and see other kids when I wanted to and not every day no matter what. I think it would also be good to let your son know that you want to try homeschooling for at least a year (because less time than that isn't sufficient to know whether he likes it or not, IMO), but that you welcome his input and want to make this a great experience for him!

For any 6 yo, I think just telling him that he doesn't have to go back to school this fall would make him pretty happy. If he really wants to go back to school then I think you should talk to some teachers and find out if he could maybe join a class for math or science or another subject that he really wants to take with his friends. I may be wrong about this, but I believe that school districts get money for every student that comes to the schools even if they are part time so schools do tend to be pretty accommodating to homeschoolers At least they do in our area...

Best wishes with everything! And just remember what a pp wrote - that your 6 yo doesn't know whether he likes homeschooling or not. You can make the decision to give him an opportunity to find out whether he likes it better than school or not at all.

Also IMO, even if he takes it hard right at first, the idea may take him some time to get used to and he won't hate you for the rest of his life if you take him out for one year and he decides he wants to go back the next. School should equal learning, not socialising. He'll have more time to socialise than his schooled peers by not having all that down time at school (between subjects - even in elementary school all the students have to get out a different book and that takes time - walking to the gym/lunchroom/music class/art class) and he'll have more unstructured time to learn what he wants to learn in more depth than he would at school (whether that be music, math, art, science, etc). Stress the good points

love and peace.
post #45 of 54
Quote:
So I should just tell him we are homeschooling him, regardless of how he feels and leave it at that?
Tell him you can see the bigger picture. Reflect his feelings. "I know you are scared/unsure/upset but we ask that you trust us."

Quote:
What if he is upset for a few days, maybe a few weeks, hopefully not a few months, until he realizes that all of our fun homeschooling activities are just as good, if not better, after all?
It took my son four months to finally come around and realize he wasn't in trouble and that's why we'd held him out of school. It finally occured to me to have a day (turned out to be a week) of things you couldn't do at public school. We did school in our jammies , we talked when we wanted (instead of raising hands , we did school with snacky foods right there , we took toilet breaks whenever we wanted..... I asked him list the things he couldn't do in school and then made an effort to simulate something along those lines for him.


Quote:
Just grin and bear it throughout that transition time?
Yup. I'd deschool him for awhile and maybe do some light unit studies. Real easy going. Tell him you've decided to extend summer for him. Show him how fun the parks are when he 'rules it'. Show him how empty movie theatres are during the day time. Just love him thru it. The easier you are on yourself , the easier time he'll have of it. If he senses that you have any guilt , well...kids pick up on those things. Relax , deschool , and take it easy.
post #46 of 54
Quote:
i think whether your child likes homeschooling or not is not a good way to decide to homeschool or not. i mean how is a 6 year old to know when firstly he has no experience with homeschooling and secondly he can't even begin to comprehend the bigger picture as to why you'd homeschool. that argument is silly to me in a way because as parents we make many decisions that our kids don't like because they can't see the bigger picture.

I would actually deemphisize the whole not going back to school concept and maybe replace it with the concept of changing school. I would figure out what he enjoyed most about school and provide those experiences though alternative means. For example maybe its the socialand atonomous aspects that are important, so perhaps he could do a kids discovery class at the museaum or zoo. I would explain that the school he was attending is not the best and that you want the best for him so you are changing schools (thus not taking away school something he likes and wants to continue). When he says things like I want to get back to my school you can gently remind him that now you do school at the museum or what ever. I would also try and empathize alot saying things like I know you really liked X & Y about school, If you'd like we can do X&Y at the zoo program!

HTH
post #47 of 54

Why I have made this decision?

This is a great question. We toyed with this idea from birth. My "spirited / gifted" dd1 made the path almost clear to us. We were going to homeschool. Then at 4 she asked if she could go to school so that she "could have praise and inspiration from someone other than mom". So we stopped teaching her anything (well tried to anyway) so that she wouldn't get too far ahead, and enrolled her into kindergarten at 5 1/2. The first week she loved it. Then she realized that they were still working on the alphabet and other stuff she had mastered years before. She became bored, and acted out.

During Winter break, she asked if she could be taught to read, even if it wasn't allowed at school. I said "if you want we'll start working on it". But the next morning she picked up some books and read them. Now she's reading some chapter books (who knows what grade level).

She did have some friends at school - although also got bullied. She did have some fun at recess, but also sat bored silly the other hours. She asked to be homschooled and we talked to her teacher about it - He prmised to try to challenge and inspire her. Well it didn't work. the things he felt were challenging were still too easy. My dd1 started hating anything related to homework. And started thinking that she didn't like math (but she actually does) and stuff like that.

We have finally decided as a family that we will be homeschooling. I think the advanced pace, tailored themes, and all-over the map grade-levels make is a necessity for me. I also hate that schools arrange subjects without any relation to one another (most subjects can flow so well from one-another as well as each grade's new concepts are usually just an extension of the previous grades and might best be taught in succession)

Most of all, the love of learning that she shows with me was never seen at school. I want her to blossom and discover her passions as well as learn the skills to live life to the fullist. Not regurgitate facts.

We have explained our decision to her - she was a little upset about losing recess until I explained that she could still get recess at home (at the park, beach, playground, etc.) And her missing her friends, they all promised to keep in touch with her - and if they are real friends then they will. Besides she only saw them during recess or at playdates.

When discussing your decision with your son, try finding out what parts of school it is that he liked.

Now I will try to include my 4yr old dd into our homeschooling as well, and am 98% sure we will just homeschool her as well. the 2% uncertainty is that she could probably assimilate fine into school and would love the chance to meet other kids. But by next year we'll probably have a support network, and playgroups, etc. and this will no longer be a concern for her.

I also understand the money issue - My dh was hoping that I'd get a paid job while both girls went to school. But that just makes me feel like I'm using the school as a daycare and not to educate my children. After a lot of though he has decided that homeschooling is best for our kids futures, and that the money thing will work itself out somehow (might take longer).

oh and we have joined a program with a teacher consultant type arrangement (homeschool but have to give weekly summaries of what they have learned or enjoyed) and through this we get reimbursed $1000 for educational materials or memberships to local aquariums, museums, science galleries, etc. Many such programs exist - also there are some that offer under $200 for registering with them, with no reporting required. Look in your area, I'm sure you can find something that will work for you.
post #48 of 54
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P.S. Baudelaire, your post cracked me up ... brought back many memories of my own childhood education!
post #49 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by RiverSky
So I should just tell him we are homeschooling him, regardless of how he feels and leave it at that? What if he is upset for a few days, maybe a few weeks, hopefully not a few months, until he realizes that all of our fun homeschooling activities are just as good, if not better, after all? Just grin and bear it throughout that transition time?

I'm definitely trying to avoid a negative transition time. In our home, we do consider the children's thoughts and feelings and explain why things sometimes need to be the way they need to be. With the start of the public school year being 6 weeks away, I believe there is plenty of time for my son's thinking to come around.
hi, well, pretty much i think it is one thing to make a decision a child is not happy about and to be empathic and listen and respect their feelings. i appreciate what you're saying but i'm sure if your 15 year old child came home and said "mom, i really want to go to a party and there is going to be lots of drugs, drinking and unprotected sex" it probably wouldn't be so hard to say no even tho you would still hear your child out and be respectful of their view. and i don't think you would mind grinning and bearing his feelings for weeks over that one!

i think if you take a deep breath and relax, it'll all work out. it sounds like a big transition for him since he enjoyed school but i think it's appropriate to tell him you're homeschooling in the fall and that even tho it may be a big change at first you'll eventually settle in. just keep listening to him and respecting his feelings and plan for a great, relaxed year. i don't have experience with deschooling but you maybe interested in reading more on that.

take care,
mandi
post #50 of 54
If i were you i would deffinately not homeschool my son. I feel this b\c if you decide to put him into school when he's in highschool, all of the other kids will think he is weird because of it. You know how teens are. They will do anything and everything to get under your kid's skin. Plus!! just because you think he might have bad experiences when he's at school doesnt mean they wont happen to him when he grows up and gets out to the real world. Let him make his own decisions so he's more familiar with them when he grows older!!
post #51 of 54
Quote:
If i were you i would deffinately not homeschool my son. I feel this b\c if you decide to put him into school when he's in highschool, all of the other kids will think he is weird because of it. You know how teens are. They will do anything and everything to get under your kid's skin. Plus!! just because you think he might have bad experiences when he's at school doesnt mean they wont happen to him when he grows up and gets out to the real world. Let him make his own decisions so he's more familiar with them when he grows older!!

Assuming a bit much, no? I hear you saying that 1) Dont homeschool your child because he may be teased in high school and 2) He needs school because he should get used to having bad experiences.

I find your view of homeschooling and real homeschooled children very closed-minded and ignorant. I don't think you have any real experience with homeschooling at all. The artificial, institutional world of structured school is not what the real world is like. And no one is telling this mom not to let her child make his own decisions. She is giving him a better and full understanding of homeschooling while still considering and respecting his feelings. Homeschooled children have way more control of their lives than those who are forcefully taught and controlled. And studies have shown they grow up with more confidence, self-esteem, and motivation than their schooled counterparts.

Funny, this is almost the same response people give when justifying circumcision.
post #52 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by llammapeace
If i were you i would deffinately not homeschool my son. I feel this b\c if you decide to put him into school when he's in highschool, all of the other kids will think he is weird because of it. You know how teens are. They will do anything and everything to get under your kid's skin. Plus!! just because you think he might have bad experiences when he's at school doesnt mean they wont happen to him when he grows up and gets out to the real world. Let him make his own decisions so he's more familiar with them when he grows older!!
Umm? You do realize you're in the homeschooling forum, right? :LOL

There are plenty of homeschoolers who go on to high school or college and don't get teased about it. Kids have better things to tease about than where you went to school. And we should put our kids in school so they can have bad experiences, since they might have bad experiences in the real world anyway? :

I'm going out on a limb here and guessing you know nothing about homeschooling. I suggest you read up on it before you try to give advice to people in the HOMESCHOOLING forum.
post #53 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by llammapeace
If i were you i would deffinately not homeschool my son. I feel this b\c if you decide to put him into school when he's in highschool, all of the other kids will think he is weird because of it.
Do you know any highschoolers? Any formerly-homeschooled ones?

I have had several students in my classes who were previously homeschooled, and not only did they have FAR better abilities to think independently and sophisticatedly, their social abilities were far more adept than their peers', and frankly, they got along quite well. In high school, other people really don't give as much of a rat's caboose about conformity as they do in grade school.

Quote:
You know how teens are. They will do anything and everything to get under your kid's skin. Plus!! just because you think he might have bad experiences when he's at school doesnt mean they wont happen to him when he grows up and gets out to the real world. Let him make his own decisions so he's more familiar with them when he grows older!!
What is your point? People can have bad experiences? Well, yeah...but the job of a good and reasonable parent is to shield their child from too many bad experiences until the child is emotionally or physically able to handle them -- and that physical and emotional maturity usually come AFTER the development of some basic confidence and self-esteem, both of which get injured by repeated maltreatment when young, as any abuse studies demonstrate clearly. Abuse, whether it is in the home or at school, is damaging to the psyche. Mistreatment, unlike what your assumption asserts, doesn't somehow "inoculate" a person to later mistreatment. It just makes 'em mean.

Trust me.
post #54 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by llammapeace
If i were you i would deffinately not homeschool my son. I feel this b\c if you decide to put him into school when he's in highschool, all of the other kids will think he is weird because of it. You know how teens are. They will do anything and everything to get under your kid's skin. Plus!! just because you think he might have bad experiences when he's at school doesnt mean they wont happen to him when he grows up and gets out to the real world. Let him make his own decisions so he's more familiar with them when he grows older!!
i would add also that homeschooled kids make their own decisions too! i think actually that homeschooling gives your children more flexibility and confidence buiding in making choices and learning to trust themselves - my kids eat when they're hungry, not when a school board determines lunch or snack time, my kids go to the bathroom when they need to, not after they get permission from someone, my kids decide when they want to be physically active, not only during a prescribed time perfoming a certain activity that the teacher wants them to do, my kids study what they want, when they want and how they want, not how someone else tells them too - need i say more - because i can, that's just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to decision making in my home - and hey, we homeschool - imagine!

mandi
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