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Need Help With Potty Training

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
we have 3-1/2 year old twins. boy/girl -caps not working- in january, we tried potty training and both just about had it down pat. then they both quit. girl is now potty trained other than night time but my boy is pretty against the potty 80% of the time. today i caught him about to hide and put him on the potty. he was kicking and screaming until his dad came and got him and put his diaper on. yesterday, he went poopy for the first time in a while and just about had a caniption screaming for me to wipe him when he was done. i was running, so its not as if i was ignoring his needing to be wiped or anything. please offer suggestions- we are about to start preschool and he needs to be out of these diapers
post #2 of 8
My big thing with potty learnig is getting the idea across that diapers are nasty and no one wants to wear them. I made a big YUCk dance everytime my kids pooped or pee'd then I would show them how tidy it was when I or their father went on the potty. This did alot of good, however you have to ensure that you don't use the sibling as modivation it can do more harm then good. Good luck
post #3 of 8
I agree, don't use the sibling as motivation, it won't work and can cause friction between them.

I don't agree with forcing him on the potty. It sounds like it's pretty traumatic for him and you. I wouldn't be surprised if the end result is him holding it as long he can, possibly waiting until bedtime to go. Then with that you have constipation issues.

I also don't agree with telling him that diapers/using diapers are yucky and something to be ashamed of. There's something holding him back from using the potty, but telling him that he's yucky or nasty isn't going to fix that. It will only make him feel worse about the whole thing. And I don't think you can expect a 3 1/2 yo to understand that the diaper is yucky, not him. My girls are a year older and still get confused on this concept.

Anyway, I feel for you. My twins trained at 39 and 41 months. In the end, what worked for us was for me and dh to completely stop talking about it. We still left the bathroom door open and the little potty on the floor, but there was no more talk of potty presents or big girl panties or anything. I didn't want to deal with a newborn and new potty users at the same time, so I completely laid off, expecting that once dd4 was about 2-3 months we would try again. She was born when they were 40 months old, so right in the middle of it. Actually, it turned out to be pretty easy. Because the girls were ready and doing it on their own it was a very smooth transition. They each had one accident when they first started wearing panties, and then a few "didn't make it to the bathroom in time" accidents since. It was nothing like what I had feared. So my advice is to lay off. Let him know that he can't go to school if he's wearing diapers, then let the issue drop. If he wakes up dry ask him if he wants to use the potty and if he says no, diaper him. No fussing or forcing, let him choose when to do it. Good luck!
post #4 of 8
New here. We had a similar issue and discovered that my son just wanted privacy. When we allowed him to go to the restroom on his own and close the door, he became a much more willing participant. Also, within a week of starting preschool he seemed to have it all down pat - he saw the routine of the other children and just joined in.

Don't be dismayed if you have to send your son to preschool with an arm load of pullups (they have to be used to that) for the first few weeks.

This too will pass.
post #5 of 8
"but telling him that he's yucky or nasty isn't going to fix that"
I would never tell any child that he was nasty but sitting in poop is I tell me daughter that the DIAPER is yucky and it is nice to be clean. I even kiss her wiped bum and tell her it is all clean. Children aren't dumb they can see that a diaper is dirty and a potty is clean if you teach them. It doesn't have to be a negative thing I make it realy funny with alot of positive renforcment. My 20 month old ( born at 24 wks gestation) is getting it and taking off her daiper when it is soiled. She points to the potty and likes to sit on it.
post #6 of 8
We're in potty-training purgetory, too!

Both were doing pretty good until last week - when DS wanted NOTHING to do with the potty and yelled "no no potty". I let it go and he went in his diapers. Since it is soo hot out, he is generally in a diaper and t-shirt, but today, diaperless, he went all by himself all day. No reminding from me or anything. I was prepared for accidents...

I wasn't disappointed. His sister found a cup and pee-d in it - remembering the time DD#2 was being worked up to bladder infections and I caught her pee in the cup.. She did get some in the cup...and a bunch on the floor..

I have found that DS prefers the "big potty" with the stool - he likes to climb and we have a small seat the he puts on it, too. DD prefers the little potty on the floor.. Maybe your DS has a preference?
post #7 of 8
My twins potty-learned at 25 and 27 months (one still uses a diaper for bed and sometimes for pooping). I think what worked for us is just talking about elimination all the time, but not necessarily about THEIR elimination. I would say, "Oh! I have to pee!!" And make a big deal of running to the potty. All the while I'd be smiling and happy, etc. My boys still use this line themselves, so I'm sure it helped in some way. Just generally being positive about all elimination is definitely the best bet. We always made a point of NOT saying that poop was yucky or stinky or anything. Instead, we'd say, "Oh, wow. . . what a big poop! Did you make this poop? Good one!" I would supply them with potties on the floor and on the toilet seat, books about potty-learning ("Once Upon A Potty" is our favorite), and just talk about it all as much as possible. Another good book is "Everyone Poops." We'd talk about everyone we knew and how they all went pee and poop. . . some used diapers, some used the potty.

And the next big suggestion is as much naked time as possible. I'd also avoid disposable pull-ups in favor of some waterproof cotton training pants like these. Lastly, I'd look into finding a different preschool that won't require your son to be potty-trained. That is a lot of pressure on you that won't help as you strive to remain positive and give your son time. Plus, I wonder about a place like that being understanding of other ways in which preschoolers develop at different paces.


post #8 of 8
My id twin boys were 4 in April and they didn't potty train until March. They were 3 weeks from their birthday before they showed any interest whatsoever. We had been trying for a year. In the beginning, they did well, then they stopped all together. I finally quit pushing and let them do it on their own time. Boys are harder to potty train than girls, so I would let your ds do it on his own time. One of mine actually becasem interested after seeing that his twin was doing it, so sometimes the sibling can be a motivator. I didn't push that, I simply reinforced the one that was potty trained.

Even though we didn't use pullups (they never worked for my kids. They are just like diapers, at least for us), I would suggest also sending him to preschool with several. I also think that once he sees his other classmates going, he'll most likely want to do what they do, so potty training might come easier.

Good luck!
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