I am also having a hospital birth. Last time both my side of the family and my mil drove me nuts after the birth, b/c they kept wanting to visit and the day after we got home, we ended up with a herd of 20 ppl at our house!!! I was pissed
: and started crying, b/c I was still struggling with BF and didn't want a ton of ppl around, even though they were family. If it would have just been 2 ppl at a time, I would have been ok with it. My mom kept inviting random family members (some that I am not that close to), to join them in the visit, which SHE put together w/o our knowledge at all, she just called us and said, "we're coming to visit." Then other ppl kept showing up and next thing we know there were a TON of ppl that we did not know were coming that apparantly had, "worked it out" with my mother! I ended up having to send my DH off with the, "herd" to take them out to lunch, b/c we were not able to feed these ppl and I wanted to nurse the baby (but ppl would not GIVE the baby back to me!!!!). Then mil and fil insisted on coming too, to add to the whole mess, her attitude was, "2 more ppl isn't going to matter," but then she sulked the whole time she was here, b/c I think she wanted the baby to herself. I pretty much went off on my mother afterwards and told her how RUDE it was for her to invite all these ppl over and of course she acted hurt and said, she thought it was easier for us to get it all over with at once. I was ticked... she never bothered asking us how we felt, like I said, I would have much rather preferred several small short visits from ppl, than the whole hoard. My mother is a busybody, always, "trying to be nice" but ends up being annoying and stepping on toes.
This time, most likely my mom will have to come over to help out with my toddler. I am hoping she does not drive me nuts (I doubt she will be staying overnight, she lives an hr away, and my father will need tending to, b/c he is a big baby), but I'd rather her come than my mil, b/c I know at least my mom would actually HELP me, instead of just, "talking" about helping and making stupid comments (last time, my proceeded to get into an argument with me about 2 hrs after I gave birth when she found out we were not going to circ the baby). I am however, saying no guests for at least the first wk or so, and if we have guests, just a 2-3 ppl at once. I KNOW my mom will throw a fit wanting to invite EVERYONE and I am NOT stacking visits, ppl will just have to wait their turn. We have caller id and will be screening our calls too. I doubt neighbors will want to drop by, since we only know a few of them, so hopefully that will not be an issue. DH works at the hospital and a few of his co-workers will probably pop by to say hello and see the baby while we are still at the hospital. That is ok with me, they are all medical professionals and will realize how tired I'll be and keep their visit short.
I just hate that sometimes family, who are understandly excited about the new baby, end up being a total PITA after the baby arrives and smother you to death.
Oh, and one more thing I am insisting my DH does NOT call his parents until MUCH later after the baby arrives. Last time they showed up at the hospital about 2 hrs after the baby arrived and would NOT leave (they were there for almost 6 hrs, b/c mil wanted to wait for my parents to show up!!!). I could have kicked my DH, b/c he KNEW I was not looking forward to his mother coming, let alone, coming almost right away and then NOT wanting to go away (she never got any of my hints either). I'd rather just not deal with ppl I can't stand (my mil), and delay it as much as possible. I don't really care if she gets upset that she was not the, "first" to see the baby (she is competitive with my parents). Too bad, this time I am putting my foot down about a lot of things and not letting family walk all over me. Ironically, our friends were the ones who respectfully waited about 2 wks before calling us or wanting to visit, even though we never set any ground rules for them. Guess most of our friends just have better manners than our family!