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What kind of "home" do you have for homebirth? - Page 2

post #21 of 41
I realize too, that Xiola's mum is looking at a nice birthing center, and not a big old cold hospital room, so sorry for my egocentric view of things. I have never had a babe in a hospital so I am terribly biased towards being at home and all cozy. But I know a birth center can be lovely, I just can't imagine going anywhere while in labor and I can't imgaine having to leave my cozy bed to pack my newborn nursling in a carseat, drive in a car and go home. Homebirths are just so...homey. lol Mine were blessed and I am beyond thankful. Good luck with your decision!
post #22 of 41
we have a one bedroom apt in a ranch style condo complex.
the guys downstairs said they didn't here me.
also most people are understanding and know you wont be making a lot of noise on a reg basis
post #23 of 41

home sweet home

I had four home births.

I could not imagine anything else.

I want to add to this thread something alittle off topic, but when my dh and I sold a home that I had birthed in, I felt VERY SAD! Depressed even. I then realized that I had bonded not only w/ my beautiful offspring, but with the home as well.

This made me realize why some women who may have the time, may do LOADS of volunteer work in a hospital or hospital charity when their children were born there.

The Mothering webpage a few weeks ago had a short article about concepts of time "chronos" chronological time and "kraonos" a unique moment of time in which something happens which has never happened before and will never happen again.

My "homes", in which I had birthed, had a sense of Kraonos.
post #24 of 41
*
post #25 of 41
Applejuice, I think it is so sweet that you became so attached to the house where you birthed your babies! I can relate a little bit even though our situations are totally different! I had dd1 in a hospital, by C section at 34.5 weeks gestation. She was in the NICU for a day and a half and in the special care nursery for the remainder of the 5 days before they "allowed" her to come home. It was a completely disappointing and shocking end to her pregnancy, pretty much the opposite of the birth I had hoped for. We had planned to be at a very small, community hospital near our home but were sent to the big hospital in a nearby city because we weren't 35 weeks yet. Anyway, I really felt attached to that big hospital for a while. When I returned the breast pump we rented for the first month (didn't end up using it much but seemed like a good idea at the time) I took Cymbre back to the NICU and the nursery to "show" my one month old baby where we'd been together. I actually went there several times with her to retrace our steps... and the saddest thing about it was that the connection that you speak of with your old house - well, of course, it just wasn't there for me at the hospital. It does make me sad that we plan to have this baby in our little apartment and we plan to move when the baby is just 3 months old or so. But I know that connection is more than just a place. And with Cymbre's birth, I was searching for something I will never find, something I'll never get back - the first day of her life when I saw her only twice, and briefly at that. The fact that although she was born, I did not birth her. How the policies and red tape of the hospital went right over my head and behind my back in caring for my child THEIR way and wouldn't even give me a straight answer about her - even though she was JUST FINE! What happened to us is something that I'll surely be sorting out for years to come.

Sorry to rant and vent so long - what I mean to say is that it makes me SO happy that there are people like you, applejuice, and so many of you other mamas, who are having birth experiences that you can look back on wistfully. I have been so excited about planning a homebirth for this new baby and now that it is getting so close (only nine weeks, give or take) I realize that I am so very scared that our plans will go down the toitey again. I long deeply for the first day of Cymbre's life and all the time she spent in her "box" instead of in my arms in those first days.

So I am praying that this little baby will come to us at home, as planned. And even if we won't live here forever, and even if it isn't huge and the kitchen cabinets look like they were cut out with a chainsaw - there is no place I would rather welcome my baby than here - in MY place into MY arms surrounded only by people who love us. It occurs to me that it might just be hard for me to let this baby go for those first days... I hope everyone who is coming to our birth will understand that!
post #26 of 41
Hi SerenityScott and applejuice -- this is a major digression, but your comments really resonate with me. We will be moving in the spring from this city, and from the warm, wonderful home where Starbaby was born (and we were married on the front steps, when I was 7 months pregnant!). It is really heart-wrenching, and I actually had a nightmare a while back, about begging the landlords to let us choose the new tenants!! I hope they are kind to the little fig tree we planted in the backyard for her first birthday, and that they care for the home as we have. I'm such a control freak...but I want to take her back here one day when she's older, and show her where she was born. I want her to see it as the happy, cozy home it was when she lived in it, and to be able to remember it that way myself.

Getting all maudlin now, AND I hijacked a thread! Apologies...
post #27 of 41
TO: Serenityscott and mammascott -

The home in which dd and ds#1 were born is up for sale and I always hoped they would be old and prosperous enough to buy it themselves.

I guess you can't have everything.
post #28 of 41
I've never homebirthed myself, but I can't imagine anyone feeling else than awestruck when "witnessing" (and hearing is witnessing) a baby being born next door.

And people who wouldn't feel like that are really not worth worrying about. I say, go for it!
post #29 of 41
Hmmm... well, if I progress faster then expected, I won't hesitate to have my midwife come here then! I honestly can't say how loud I was... I vocalized a lot last time but kept it pretty low. I guess Party Girl can cope... and who knows, she may be partying over there and not hear us anyway:

But the birth center has a *jacuzzi tub*! We'll see how it goes

XM
post #30 of 41
I just thought I'd share my story (so far). I wanted a birthing center birth because I though dh would never go for home birth. After being sent to collection for my dd's hospital birth TWO YEARS ago when the insurance was supposed to cover me 100% I put my foot down. Home birth it is!

The birthing center would have been a great option, but it was 1 1/2 hours away! All the driving and it would have cost us $1900 (our max out of pocket costs). The homebirth is going to cost us about $1350 (midwife fees are $1250 for care from 20wks on, birthing pool is $40, birthing kit is $30 and air pump for pool is $22). I'm going to have to work until about 32 week so we can pay for it more easily, but it will be so worth it! And you never know, I can pray that perhaps Anthem will reimburse us!

A birthing center birth sounds great, but I love the idea of not having to leave the house until I'm ready AFTER the birth!

Our house is very small. We'll hvae to push the dining room table against the wall and if anyone wants to get to another area of the house, they'll have to walk around the pool. I'll be more than comfortable though- it's my house!
post #31 of 41
My family lives in a large house, but it ended up that all the neighbors were practically pounding down the door at 8 am. Jude was born at 3:30 am, but I was outside walking with dh for a large part of the labor. I say labor like nobody is listening!
post #32 of 41
Our home VBAC waterbirth was in our daughters' tiny 8x10 bedroom in our tiny 796 sq ft house (with very close neighbors on a BUSY street). A friend watched my twins in the living room while my husband and I moved from our teeny bathroom to the tub in the girls room. Then the midwife and my friend came in (midwife's assistant didn't make it in time) and baby was born in the water. I got out of the tub right into the girls' bed and nursed and delivered the placenta.
It was cozy and convienient!
I was worried the twins would be alarmed by the noise I made but apparently they didn't even notice!
post #33 of 41
I too had a Home VBAC waterbirth just 7 weeks ago and I would choose to do it no other way!

Being at home was absolutely magical, I felt so comfortable and I know my body worked much better being in it's own environment.
Our neighbors were all waiting on pins and needles to see what we had because they all saw our birth tub being delivered and they KNEW I must be in labor - That said we own a 1906 craftsman that is in a constant state of remodel but it's ours and way cozier than a unfamilear location like in my first birth -
I acatually enjoyed being in labor for my homebirth.

I say go for a home birth if that's where you will be most comfortable, once you're in labor you will love the freedom that being at home brings and if you already have little ones it's SO much nicer - in our case our toddler played with my mom all day while I labored then witnessed his baby sister being born, then we had a celebration meal and we all hopped into our OWN big bed and were all snuggled up and sleeping by 10pm! For him it was a great day and such an easy transition to big brotherhood!

Good luck and congratulations!
post #34 of 41
I live in a modest two bedroom apt. and at first worried about neighbors "hearing" me. But living here after I while I realized that the walls were pretty thick, and I spent most of my labor in the bathroom and my bedroom, my bedroom is all outside walls and shares a wall with the other bedroom. The bathroon shares a wall wtih the other apt but luckily the person living there had moved out a month prior so it was vacant. I had also stopped worrying about it because when the guy did live there he was laid back and cool.

In other words I trusted that it would all work out in the end and it did. All of my other nieghbors assumed I had the baby in the hospital! LOL. (I Just let them go on assuming)
post #35 of 41
For my first 2 I lived in one room in a 3 bedroom house shared with dp's 2 sisters and their kids........
For 3,4,5, and 6, I lived in my own house, with several neighbors on all sides. I had all my babies in the middle of the day, so people were walking up and down the street and everyone saw my midwife come.......I labored with the windows wide open, and in the yard, and up and down the street...........my neighbors saw me and asked about my progress.......they sat on their front porches waiting to hear the news........after, they told me they heard the baby's first cry.
post #36 of 41
What a wonderful way to come into the world, sevenkids! To be welcomed at all stages of delivery by the neighborhood.
post #37 of 41
Oh, I love this thread! So cool to hear all the places you ladies have given birth. Ours is a decent-sized house, so I can't really add to the conversation on that part--sorry! But I just wanted to say to XM that IT IS GREAT to have options! That's what it's all about, isn't it? For women to be informed about their options and then make their own choices. So go for it, whatever you decide! It sounds like things will go fast, so who knows. You may be at home for it all, no matter what! But that jaccuzi tub does sound WONDERFUL! I borrowed a friend's pool and we had it in the living room, and boy was that the BEST thing EVER! But I was in and out of it the whole time b/c it really slowed my labor down, and after 12+ hours, that's NOT what was needed. But I did take a long hot shower during transition, or at least part of it, and that was just amazing. And I was sitting on the birth ball too which helped. So many options and ideas and wisdom those midwives have! I would be lost in Labor Land forever without them!

Best wishes, and you should do what feels right for you at the moment, no matter what the neighbors think, as long as you're comfortable. But if you're really self-concious about the noises you're making and who may or may not be hearing them, then you won't be comfortable...KWIM? And if you're nto comfortable at home, you may as well be in a hospital bed.

Anyway, happy birthing!

Emily


PS OT to ScerenityScott. I just wanted to say that even though someone else delivered your baby, you still *birthed* her, or at least that's how I feel. You didn't get to make many choices at that point since she decided to come early. But you are the one who carried her for all those months and made the placenta to sustain her and had the belly that she was born from. I have no idea what it's like to have a c-section, but it seems like it can be so disempowering, but it was still your daughter's BIRTH, not her "section", right?! I hope one day you will find the birth of your first daughter to be empowering in some way, instead of so sad. And I so hope that this next baby's birth will be positive and empowering for you, enough to help heal a bit more from your first birth experience. It is so wonderful to hear the sweet stories of mom's who have had homebirth VBAC's! Truly amazing. I hope I haven't stepped on any toes, SS. Just trying to encourage. Love, Emily
post #38 of 41
I was looking at old post and came across yours, I live in an apartment flat- I own it so they can’t complain to anyone else but me. But, still we are remolding it and all the bedrooms are torn apart. We truly have only the living room/where our bed is and the bathroom and kitchen! We are planning on buying another house but that is only 2 weeks before my due date so we may have the baby in the apartment after all. I told my neighbors so if I do make noise then they will know why. I say leave your neighbor a note, and if you are lucky she may not even live there when the baby comes!!! But if she does, then you have let her know and who cares if she hears you, it is not like she has not kept you up before! And if she tells your landlord, I think they will understand and sympathize with you! You may even want to inform your landlord prior to the due date. It is well worth it! Enjoy your birth- when you have it!!
post #39 of 41

apartment

Yep, I birthed twins in the living room of our small apartment. It was wonderful.

Our neighbors below us called about an hour after the babies were born to say congrats. Seems they came home from work and hear the new babies cry.

I am sure that our other neighbors heard me. Our apartment is the first one when you come in the front door. The twins were born on a Friday night and I am sure that many, many of our single neighbors heard the REALITY of labour. I did not even think of it and we had a small note on the door. "Do not disturb. Birth in progress."

It was great to be able to shower and crawl into my bed with my hubby and babies.
post #40 of 41
I plan on having mine at home, and I'll be living in an apartment (not the same one I'm in now, though).

I just thought I'd point out that the neighbors might as well hear you birthing. Even if they don't, they'll hear the baby cry from time to time, and you can hardly be given a black mark on your rental record or ticketed for disturbing the peace for that!

For me, it's all about being where I'm comfortable. Hospitals make me uncomfortable, hotel rooms make me uncomfortable, and I assume a birthing center will as well (because it's not MY space), therefore I'd much rather be at home.
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