a couple of questions

[crsta33]

...from a new mom-to-be of a little boy boy:

I've been lurking for a week or so b/c I strongly suspected I am pregnant with a little boy, and I had an u/s last week that confirmed it. We are planning on leaving our little boy intact. My dh isn't totally comfortable with the idea, but he's on board. He's just asked me not to bring the topic up anymore.

I wanted to see if someone could give me an idea what I should ask my ped. The baby won't see a ped before he's 2 weeks old, but my daughter has a checkup a month or so before he's set to arrive and I can ask her anything then. I want to get an idea if she's comfortable with an intact boy and see if I can trust that she won't try to retract him. I've considered playing innocent and just asking her how to care for an intact penis, but that feels a little sly and dishonest. I truly like her and don't want her to "fail."

Also, I wanted to ask about a statement my sil made this weekend. She was changing her little boy's diaper (who is circed) and said that if we wanted our baby circumsized we'd have to have it done before he was a week old. I told her we were planning on leaving him alone, which she was supportive of, but I'm left wondering why the one week time limit? Is there some medical reason or is that arbitrary? It just left me curious and I thought one of you might know.

Thanks so much. I've really learned alot by lurking! :

Christa

[Pandora114]

The older they get the more apt they are to punch you in the face.

Seriously, ask your ped if he thinks there's an abitrary age for retraction. If he sais yes, get another one, or at least try to educate him. *No arbitrary age for retraction* Tell your ped that he keeps his blasted hands off your son's penis, because they just LOVE to retract early, and that's just not on because the foreskin is supposed to be fused to the glans.

[Frankly Speaking]

There is no "last chance" for circumcision as evidenced by the few men who are circumcised in their 70's or 80's for a complication of diabetes. Apparently, your SIL is the victim of an old tactic to convince parents who are on the fence to circumcise.

The vast majority of newborns are circumcised with no pain relief at all. At some age, most doctors believe this is unethical and will not circumcise a child with no anesthesia and at that point, perform the procedure under general anesthesia. However, General anesthesia is dangerous for a newborn or very young child so they refuse to perform the procedure usually before the first year with general anesthesia. This leaves a gap from a few weeks old when they don't mind torturing a child to that first year when they think it is safe to administer general anesthesia.

The doctors don't usually explain this and use the "last chance" argument to convince you to go ahead with the circumcision in the neonatal period. It has often been said that OB/GYNs do the vast majority of circumcisions because they are the first ones at the money trough. That OB/GYN knows that if you don't have it done before you leave the hospital that he/she will not get the money but instead, a pediatrician will get it. Their push to get you to circumcise is simply their greed showing through as "professional advice." Don't fall for it!




Frank

[Quirky]

As far as the ped, I would be upfront - bring in the AAP statement, bring in a pamphlet from NOCIRC.org on caring for the intact child, and say "my research says that boys should NOT be retracted for ANY reason, do you agree?"

If yes, then you're golden.

If no, ask her why she disagrees with the AAP. If she says, hmmm, I didn't know that, I'll read it and see and changes her mind, then you're golden.

If she says no, boys get gross and infected if you don't retract and clean them with Clorox at every diaper change (OK, exaggerating here) then you have a decision to make - either you stick with her because you otherwise like her as a ped and just DON'T take your son's diaper or underwear off in front of her for any reason, or you find a new ped.

[susienjay]

I'm not sure where your sil got the 1 week number from. A bris isn't even performed until the 8th day and I've known of people getting 2-3 week old babies circed. I think it has more to do with the size of the baby than anything else. My son was a preemie and had we wanted him circed he would have been at least 5 weeks old at the time.

Congrats on your new little guy!

[Frankly Speaking]

Originally Posted by Quirky

If she says no, boys get gross and infected if you don't retract and clean them with Clorox at every diaper change.

Don't forget the wire brush! :



Frank

[Nathan1097]

The week quote is probably just a stab in the dark. I was once told "up to 2 months without anesthesia" by a nurse who called to check up on me and my newborn (Nathan). Only reason I can come up with for this is that after about that age (10 lbs or so) they don't fit in the Circumstraint anymore.

[QueenOfThePride]

Christa, your sil probably was told that newborns can't feel pain in the first week of life.

[crsta33]

Thanks everyone. I had wondered if maybe the time limit was b/c after that point they would recommend anesthesia and would have to wait for the baby to be big enough to tolerate it.

I remember how upset she was with how her son's penis looked after the procedure and how my dh was telling her it was okay. I'm so glad my little one won't have to go through that.

My mom and I were talking and have come to the conclusion that it's just not a big deal to leave them alone. She said she thought my stepsister's son was intact, but she wasn't sure. After I described the way a foreskin looks she said that he was intact. We both tried to remember if this boy's older brother and his cousin were both intact (both are older boys now, but we did diaper duty with both when they were infants) and neither of us remember one way or the other, but think they are probably both whole too.

I was a nanny fresh out of high school and the baby I kept was intact. I thought his penis looked different, but I don't think I realized why for a couple of years (probably when I found myself in a relationship with an intact male). I just can't understand why ppl think it's such a big deal. Unecessary, painful, expensive surgery seems a much bigger deal to me.

Christa