When are they old enough to be alone?

[Ruthla]

How old is old enough to play outside alone in the front yard/go for walks around the neighborhood? How about being home alone?

Mostly, I'm more worried about CPS considering it "neglect" than I am about the child's maturity level. I KNOW my girls can fend for themselves for an hour- I often nap with them awake, but then I'm still "the adult in charge" and I can be woken in an emergency.

[oldcrunchymom]

I leave my 9.5 year old alone for an hour or so while I take his sister to dance. I think if they're in a locked house, it's pretty unlikely anything (including CPS) will happen.

I've told him he can go to the park (about 150 yards from our house) alone but he doesn't want to yet. So can't help you on that one.

[eilonwy]

I'd call the library and ask what the law says. Someone will know where to look it up.

[rgarlough]

Do you mean all your kids or just the oldest 2?

I feel totally comfortable letting DSD (almost 12) and DSS (10) to go for bike rides to the park, about 8 blocks away. And both have babysat for ds for 2 hours. DSD went through a Babysitting Course sponsored by the Red Cross and is certified to perform rescue breathing and basic CPR

I'm more concerned about teaching the kids about abductions and weirdos than I am about CPS

I grew up in a much less desirable neighborhood 20 years ago and I felt 'old enough' to ride my bike around and roam the neighborhood with my best friends (I was given boundaries like stay within certain streets) when I was about 8-9. There were crazies back then and I would say given proper info on how to handle oneself in certain situations, I felt very comfortable with my freedom

[Ruthla]

I'm only talking about the older 2- there's no doubt in my mind that 3.5 is way too young to be left unsupervised for even 5 minutes!!!! (Entertain himself while I do something in the next room, yes, leave the 3 of them and go to the store, no.)

Basically, I'm wondering if they're old enough to stay home while I drive him to camp or pick him up, when there's no other adult in the house- about a half hour round trip.

[TRIBE]

That was a question I pondered with my 9yo ds too! I would drive 8yo dss to school a few blocks down the road (gone less than 10 minutes) and really worries hard about leaving ds alone for even that amt of time. I did find my state law says age 14 to be left alone. I don't get that since the red cross here has age 12 as the beginning age for the babysitter training.

I'm a super worry wart tho and only left him alone a few times before my poor nerves couldn't take it anymore. I can't even bear to let him and dss go to the park a block behind our house I need to learn to relax a little more I think.

[UnschoolnMa]

Generally speaking I would say around 9-11 is the "starting to be alone for a bit age" in my experience. A half hour for a mature 10 yr old seems just fine to me especially home in a locked house, and if you've already discussed the home alone guidelines. I believe the age kids can stay alone in my county is 11, which is about the time my kids were interested anyway.

My 11.5 yr old Dd walks around our block (big block) with hef friends. She tells before she leaves so that I can note the time, and then she pops her head in to tell me she is back. She doesn't really feel ready to walk much more than that without me and Dh. She does stay home alone for an hour, and more with her brother. My almost 14 yr old walks to the mall, store, and library (The library is the farthest away and it's 20 min? maybe) He usually calls me to tell me he is on his way home. I worry, but I know they need this.

[philomom]

I spoke to a friendly cop about this recently. She said that 8-10 year olds may be left alone for short periods of time. Children must over the age of 12 years to be left "in charge" of other and younger children.

I have done the "run to the store" jaunts leaving a single child home alone after the age of 9. I have not left my two alone together yet, because it violates the "nobody is 12 yet" rule.

I have a buddy who must work all day and her husband as well. She tells me she leaves her sick kid locked in the house for eight hours. I think that's way too long.

[PancakeGoddess]

My 10.5yo just stayed home alone yesterday for the first time. It was about 20 minutes, he did fine. He's been riding or walking alone to the library (1/3 mi) for about a year.

Rules we have for being home alone:
always pick up the phone if it's me, his dad, grammy or aunt.
never pick up if it's anyone else

don't open front door, talk through the glass, tell them "mom can't come now, try again later"

no microwave, no internet

I wish I could leave the 8 and 10yos alone. I think the 8yo could handle himself alone, actually, but the two combined, not such a good bet. Just not sure yet.... Plus, 8yo would probably still be afraid.

[RubySweet]

I think 10-ish is ok to stay home alone briefly. I'm comfortable leaving my 10 year old for say, less than an hour with the same rules as Benjalo about cooking, phone & door answering. I didn't mind them playing in the front yard with the neighborhood kids without me from about 7-8 years. When they go somewhere out of my sight we use those Motorola Talkabout things so I can check in frequently & they only go within a few blocks of our house.

[snuggly mama]

I guess I'm an oddball here, but I haven't left dd (10) home alone for any period of time yet. She does have a key in case she gets home from school and I'm not there yet, but she's never had to use it. We live on a busy street and I don't know our neighbors very well, so I'd be worried about her handling some situations without feeling like there is some support nearby should she need it. (Just thinking about what she'd do if delivery man came or something.) Both she and ds (8) are allowed to play outside unsupervised and they occassionally ride down the block on their bikes, but that's about it. Guess I'm pretty neurotic, huh?

[Alkenny]

I think it depends on the maturity level of the child involved. I didn't leave my older one alone until about a year ago (she was 11), and then it was an hour tops *usually quicker jaunts to the store*.

But my DS is 9, and I've left him home for a half hour or so when I had to pick DD up from a school function.

We implement all the usual rules (no answering the door or phone, no cooking etc.)

I let them start riding their bikes to the park, carryout, school etc. about 2 years ago (7 and 9 years old)...together, and all of the places they're allowed to go are on THIS side of the main road through our small town.

As for playing in the yard alone, around 5 is when I let them play outside alone.

[DebraBaker]

I'm nervous at the thought of leaving 10yo but I would in a pinch and for a short time (20 to 30 minutes and less than five miles away.)

12 is the usual leave for over an hour or watch younger sibling age for mature kiddos. I have a 13 yo son and I won't leave him with anyone because he's add and impulsive and immature and I can't trust him with the younger children. When DD (now 15) was 11 and ds (now 17) was 13 I would leave them together with younger siblings but *she* was just as in charge because she was more mature at the time than he was.

I figure 13 is the usual age for letting siblings babysit because that seems to be the age when other families ask them to babysit.

Debra Baker

[MusicLadyToo]

I think it depends on the child. SOme children are more mature than others. When my son was in 2nd grade he had a key incase he got home before me and had to use it a few times (for less than 15 minutes) and he was ok. He was ready knew the rules and had had "practice" sessions. My stepdaughter will be in 2nd grade in September and I would never do the same thing for her. She isn't emotionally ready or mature enough for it. My 10yos does mother's helper stuff for me right now and is looking forward to taking the babysitting course. I might let him start doing mother's helper stuff for other mom's I know in the next year or so.

[huggerwocky]

My daughter is 8 and will stay alone for maybe 30 minutes.She is also allowed to walk around and play with her friends outside.

[mamaduck]

Wow. This is making me feel overprotective. And I don't usually consider myself overprotective at all!

My oldest is nearly nine, and *extremely* mature. I don't leave him home alone at all. He is allowed to ride his bike within 2 blocks of our house, but not allowed to stop to talk or play with anyone unless he is within eyesight of our house.

I cannot imagine allowing him to roam the neighborhood or walk to the local park alone until he in his mid-teens. And even then - not at night, and not for long if he is alone.

I'm a grown woman, and I do not wander the neighborhood alone. And its a nice neighborhood. But things can happen, even to big kids. If he is with friends who I know -- then I guess that is different. But I would feel nervous with a kid out and about, not knowing what he is doing.

[PancakeGoddess]

I don't think the 2 PPs who don't leave their 9-10yos are overprotective or neurotic necessarily (hey, who am I to say, but... )

We JUST started leaving our 10.5yo (like I said, about 2 days ago was first time, for 20 min) and I don't think it was a moment too soon. Maybe call yourselves overprotective if you still don't leave them 2 years from now.

[DebraBaker]

Hey, its normal to be paranoid and overprotective.

I have a 10.5 yo and have left him for, say, 10 minutes and I'm paranoid. He's a mature and intelligent kid but I'm still freakey. He's my seventh child, you'd think I've been there six times before but I'm still in a state. Similar to teaching a kid to drive. You never get accustomed to it and it freakes you out every time.

DB

[snuggly mama]

Originally Posted by DebraBaker

Hey, its normal to be paranoid and overprotective.

DB

Then I'm very, very normal!

I also wanted to say that I don't think it's wrong to leave a 10yo alone, it just doesn't work for me right now. I get nervous when they are playing in the yard and I can't see them right away! I think I was raised with too many "kids on a milk carton" tv shows!!

[oldcrunchymom]

Originally Posted by mamaduck

I cannot imagine allowing him to roam the neighborhood or walk to the local park alone until he in his mid-teens. And even then - not at night, and not for long if he is alone.

Really? What about walking to school or a lesson? Starting in second grade where I grew up, anyone who lived one mile or less from school had to walk. And once you got to middle school/high school age it was two miles.

I was babysitting for neighbors at 12 and farther away people at 13 or 14. I can't imagine not being able to walk alone until I was in my mid-teens. Yikes.