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Faternal or Identical? & Do you dress them alike?

post #1 of 32
Thread Starter 
My twin Girls Emma-Jane and Elizabeth are Faternal twins they are alike but they have their differences that make them unique. (My first set of twins was said to be Identical boys but I doubt it since Faternal twins runs in both sides of my family(both my moms side and my dads). I still trying to get the medical records back so it will be interesting to see what the truth is.) One has bown eyes one has green, Emma has striaght hair Eliza has curly even though it is the same color. I have fun dressing my girls the same. They look so cute and they love being alike even at 8 years old. I try to draw attention to their twinness because it is so special to me.

So here are question...what kind of twins do you have and how do you dress them?
post #2 of 32
My girls are fraternal and I do dress them alike most of the time, mostly because of ease. It's just sooo much easier for me to pick up two of the same outfit and dress them both in it, rather than looking for coordinating outfits or having to pick out something different for each of them every day. Plus, my family buys a lot of their clothes, and they are dead-set on buying matching outfits. Of course, when the girls are ready to decide what they want to wear we'll go that route.
post #3 of 32
I don't have fraternal twins, but I am a fraternal twin.

My Mom was very vigilant about us being different and having our own identities. She made the principle of our elementary school sign a contract stating we would never be in the same classroom together - to prevent us from being treated as a unit rather than two separate people. For special events (like getting our picture taken) she would dress us in nearly alike outfits, in different colors. Every other time we wore whatever.

I have to say I disagree with dressing twins alike (though I do sympathize with the fact that it may be easier on Mama to do so). My twin sis and I are VERY alike in many ways, have shared memories, etc - but also as different as night and day quite literally. There was still and is still a lot of subtle but very effective pressure to measure up to the other twin. No matter how dissimilar they are, people will always see them as a single unit to some extent, which means on some level you end up trying to be alike to measure up to expectations. It's the ultimate sibling rivalry, and the ultimate loving relationship all in one.

Anywho. In my opinion, it's cute but a bad idea. Dressing twins alike encourages them and other people to think of them as one.
post #4 of 32
This thread is interesting to me, because my two daughters are not twins and frequently insist on wearing matching outfits. They are 22 months apart. Do twins ever request to dress alike, too? Is this common or uncommon?
post #5 of 32
Thread Starter 
Bridgette I thank you for you opinion.

My two daughters are night and day also. There individuality is not a question at all, in fact what we try to hold onto is their special bond of being twins. I find my daughters tell everyone about their twin sister when we are out with only one. They are 8 years old now, Eliza is her own very strong person, Emma is a wild creature and she is in no way "one" with her sister.

I know that I have heard of women saying they don't have pictures of just one child alone. My daughters however go on play dates alone, they have different friends, different classes, different likes and strengths. They have a wonderfull bond that is so special and it is something to be proud of and something to cherish. Dressing in the same clothes in no way takes away their different personalities, Emma even stands differently then her sister. My daughters in fact ask to be dressed alike when we go out most days so that they get attention from others for their special bond. Often times we dress my youngest daughter and my niece to match, we find it alot of fun to see the heads turn as we walk by.

My niece had trouble when she was two she called my daughters the "emma's" but I realy haven't had trouble with anyone since that time. I will keep an eye out for what you spoke about but as of now we have done well. I have found alot of books on twins and we seem to be developing a good balance so far on cherishing the bond and nurturing the individuals.

Sometimes clothes are just clothes, and we are just having fun with the gift we were given
post #6 of 32
My boys are fraternal and while strangers insist they look so much alike, they really don't look alike at all. I was very adamant about NOT dressing them identically from the from the day we found out about them, but I admit that is probably as a result of some preconcieved ideas. My mom also has fraternal twins who are 12 yrs younger than me and was always very assertive about their individuality. I did dress them in coordinating outfits if we were going somewhere though.

As they've gotten a tad bit older, they really are more different than they are alike! I now get asked "How far apart are they?" far more often than "Are they twins?" So now I enjoy dressing them identically from time to time! Of course, now that I want to dress them identically on occassion, I can't because they are in two totally different size ranges! Ethan is in the big baby/toddler section and Anthony is still very much in infant sizes! Blah!

Unless we are going somewhere nice (not to the grocery or something plain like that), I don't worry at all about choosing matching or coordinating outfits. IF I dress them at all, that is! In this heat, they spend a lot of time in just diapers and a pair of shorts for naptime (since they've mastered aplix recently!).

I don't remember my brothers ever asking to dress identically or even asking to coordinate. They are twin brothers, without a doubt, and they are very cose. But they are also very very unique and haven't really ever showed much desire to be similar simply for similarity's sake.

Fun thread!
post #7 of 32
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by hsvmom
As they've gotten a tad bit older, they really are more different than they are alike! I now get asked "How far apart are they?" far more often than "Are they twins?" So now I enjoy dressing them identically from time to time!

LMAO!!! That just it isn't it! I remember when my daughters were babies and I didn't have the time or the energy to care what they wore as long as it was clean. I often had one baby in a sleeper because of some cloth diaper leak and the other would be in an outfit still. No matter what though we would always get at least two or three people come up to talk to us though and no one missed that they were twins. Now that they are bigger we all get hurt, especialy my Liz when people ask how far apart my kids are in age. Emma is so cute she always chimes in and says I am a whole one minute older then my TWIN sister.
post #8 of 32
Thread Starter 
Quote:
my two daughters are not twins and frequently insist on wearing matching outfits. They are 22 months apart
My sister is 26 months older then me and we always liked pretending we were twins. We got away with it too as we got older. My mom always allowed us to have matching clothes often making them herself and making herself something similar . It was fun and oh boy did we love the looks we got.
post #9 of 32
I have 27 mo old mz twin girls. What my preference has always been is coordinating, but different outfits. That way they're easy to tell apart at first glance (I have no problem telling them apart now but when they're running away from me it can be hard LOL) & other people can tell them apart but I have the ease that others talked about of not having to figure out two things that at least kind of coordinate (so one's not wearing a frilly dress & the other overalls LOL). But for the first year they were almost exclusively in gifts (and I still returned TONS of clothes that I could figure out where came from & have others still w/ tags on that I use as baby gifts for other people) and of course a lot of those were identical, so they wore alot of identical things that first year & still we sometimes get gifts that are identical (I was teasing my friend Angie the other day because she always gives me a hard time if I dress them exactly the same and yet she found some cute dresses that she couldn't pass up (she has boys so she gets her "cute girl clothes" thrills by buying stuff for my kids LOL) so got them for the girls & they're both the same) or I'll find a bargain I can't pass up that doesn't have a coordinating 2nd item, just an identical one. We're also getting lots of hand-me-downs now though so alot of the time when we're just hanging out at home they're in totally different items (although it's interesting how often the hand-me-downs will have 2 outfits that are a similar style LOL), so it just varies.

As they get older it will definately be their choice (even if we have 2 outfits the same there's nothing that says they have to wear them the same day). My brother was dating a woman who has 5 yr old dz twin girls & from age 3 or so they (the kids) INSISTED on dressing exactly the same, so I think it just depends on the kid & as long as we follow their lead there isn't a hard & fast rule about always/never dressing them the same.
post #10 of 32
A & G are like night and day, also. Ava is a pretty calm little girl, she loves to read and play with her babies and stuffed animals. She loves everybody, and her favorite thing to do is dole out hugs and kisses to whoever wants one. Genevieve is my wild one. She is constantly on the go and doesn't have the time or patience for playing with dolls or giving kisses. She would rather be running down a trail or playing at the playground, working out her abundance of energy. They are very dissimilar in their looks, as well. Ava looks just like dh, and Genevieve could be my twin.

Although dressing them alike may have contributed to strangers treating them as a unit, it is nearly impossible for anyone that knows them to do so because of their differing personalities. They are very much individuals, and have always been treated as individuals by myself, my dh, our families, and our friends (other than the very very early days, when we cared for them as a unit for sheer survival, LOL.)
post #11 of 32
My girls are fraternal and are 18 mths and I have pretty much never dressed them the same. Part of it is because they have an older sister and I don't want them to be seen as a unit and dd#1 to be off on her own, yk? But an equal part of it is exactly what Bridgette said - dressing them alike makes them and others think of them as a unit and I really don't want them to be perceived that way or to think of themselves that way. In the same vein, we never call them "the twins" - always their names or occasionally the babies or the girls (referring to all 3 of them).
post #12 of 32
I never dress dd and ds alike. They are boy/girl twins (fraternal obviously ) but even if they were identical I don't think I would. I think it would cost a small fortune first of all, and also I would never dress (e.g.) a 5 year old and a 3 year old siblings the same so I'm not going to do that to dd and ds just because they happen to share a birthday.
post #13 of 32
My fraternal girls are often dressed alike: in just a diaper :LOL:

That is, when I can even convince them to wear that. When I can't, well their birthday suits are not identical.

Otherwise, when they were infants they had I think two matching footies; a couple of matching dresses that were gifts; and then a couple of things that were the same outfit in different colors.

To me, it just looks odd to see them dressed identically.

At this point I don't think they have any identical outfits. The other day at the park, someone asked my husband if they were identical. He said, no of course not, can't you see, one is "stripes" and one is "surf's up" (which were the footies they had on at that time).

However, sometimes they do fight over the same item. So maybe eventually they will decide to get some matching stuff.
post #14 of 32
Thread Starter 
pictures of my kids, can you guess where the twins are??

another one

still not my twin daughters lol

We love to dress the kids alike, my sister and I buy our clothes together and when we go out all of the kids are dressed the same. My youngest Ellanor that day didn't have the same outfit since it didn't come in her size but we did our best see for yourself

hehe i just had to share how cute they were at the Aquarium last week
post #15 of 32

not alike

I do not dress my fraternal twin DSs alike. They look nothing alike, so I think it would be weird, plus I support their different identities. They also have different favorite colors, so prefer to dress in those. Sometimes the outfits are similar, but not exactly the same. My nanny does dress them alike when I am not there. Probably just easier for her to pick out one outfit--and everyone gives us matching outfits!!
post #16 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by inezyv
This thread is interesting to me, because my two daughters are not twins and frequently insist on wearing matching outfits. They are 22 months apart. Do twins ever request to dress alike, too? Is this common or uncommon?
I'm sure they do, it's very common for girls and young women to dress the same or very closely. My sister and I (14 mo apart) and two of my best friends in hs (sisters 11 mo apart, that's right, 11mo) would dress the same. It was fun. These days, when I'm out shopping I almost always run across a group of girls or young women who look like they're trying to dress the same.
post #17 of 32
When my girls were infants I didn't dress them the same, but quickly tired of all the "are they twins" questions. I thought if they were dressed the same it would end it. It didn't really, but it was easier, especially shopping for clothes. Dh and I are both so picky, by the time I found something he would agree on it was easier to grab 2 than to start the process over again.

For a while they went through a phase where they had to match. If I changed one girl's clothes the other would cry and take off all of her clothes. That lasted from about 12 months until 30 months. That's when they started picking out their own clothes. They would negotiate in front of the dresser for the longest time. These days they do dress the same about 1/2 of the time, but I'd say that only 1/2 of it is planned, the rest of the time it's coincidental.

When I'm shopping or sewing they always have input, so we'll have to see what happens. With their summer dresses I had them pick out the fabric. Mandy picked first, and when Emma came over the first thing she asked me was what did Mandy pick? She then chose the same fabrics in a different color for two dresses and the same exact fabric for two others.

And regarding the younger sibling thing - Olivia does occasionally ask where her matching dress is, lol!

Oh, yeah, forgot to add, my girls are frat, very, very frat. The last few times we have been out people think that Olivia and Emma are the twins! One has straight blonde hair and blue eyes, the other wavy brown hair and brown eyes. They also have very different face and head shapes. Ironically they have always been within 1/4" and 1/2 lb of each other in size, though.
post #18 of 32
I have fraternal g/g/ twins. Sometimes they are dressed alike, but it's mostly because I happen to have two of the same outfit (usually onesies). They might wear the same style, but in different colors. I'd say that most of the time the outfits are coordinated in style and color to complement each one's personality and appearance.
post #19 of 32
Fraternal B/B here.

only alike on holidays in outfits purchased by family - and that's only happened twice thus far

otherwise, its a mishmash of unisex and an occasional dress (easier to fit cloth dipe and change) lol

DH's brother is getting married this week, so they will be in matching whit oxfords and blue khakis just to confuse the hell out of people

muhahahahaha
post #20 of 32
I have Identical twin boys, they're 1 yr old and sometimes I dress them alike, but more often than not we dress them differently. They already look exactly alike in features etc... and dressing them alike I worry will deminish (sp?) their individualities as they are total opposites in personality LOL Now what I do do alot is dress them in the same type outfit just different colors, that way it's easier to tell who's who. Even now a year after their birth it's still hard for us to tell them apart unless we really look hard to find our distinctive difference (which is only a small vein that runs across ones nose, the other doesnt have it).
What's really funny is I've had people actually ask me if they're twins...sometimes I wanna reply with "nope I picked the other one off the side of the road and he just happened to look just like him" LOL

Blessings,
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