Need help with transitions...

[plein_soleil]

This has always been an issue for us, but now, the old tricks are no longer working. DS is very intense and high needs. We used to say and wave “bye-bye” to everything and say “See ya later,” but now I just get a resounding Noooooooooooooo! Then, more recently, we switched to counting as a way to warn him how much time is left. Now the second I begin to count, I get the NO! If I continue, I am likely to get hit, kicked, called names, or have my path blocked. I have tried other things like “let’s put the trains to bed/in their house, and tell them bye-bye.” This works sometimes, but often after we do that, he is still not ready. He also have similar issues when leaving a playmate, also adding tons of pressure to the equation. (We have not had playmates for months, but we have met at neutral locations.) Saying bye-bye to them can trigger the previously mentioned behaviors, especially blocking their path.

I have similar issues with nursing, and these are totally making me loony. I am tired of the 20-30 minute session when I pick him up at preschool. (He is almost 4) I have tried to cut this session or hold it until we get home. Sometimes it works, but often it does not. He switches sides after 5 minutes (milk probably gone), and it’s back and forth about 3 times. In the recent past, I would count. ie: “You may nurse for 10 more counts (if he bargains for 20, I count faster). When I reach 10, we go home.” Now, he just screams, “NO Counting!”

A HUGE distraction will get him away from the issue, but there can be nothing to re-trigger the issue or we are right back where we started; sometimes I am at a creative loss to come up with something asap. (most of the time it is a public situation) Any ideas out there for getting from point A to point B without a grandiose scene?

[4evermom]

I would stop trying to count since it is making him mad and resistant. Maybe if you used something like a kitchen timer instead of counting, he would take it less personally. Sometimes, I tell ds that when the numbers on the clock say such and such it will be time to go. I usually have an emergency yummy food item, like organic fruit leather, with me for helping with hard transitions. That might help with picking him up at preschool. Just reasoning might help as well, saying "it isn't comfortable to nurse in the car anymore. Let's go home and get comfy on the sofa first." My ds is almost 4, also, and is still actively nursing so I hear you about the side switching. Instead of timing a particular side, I will tell him he can nurse on that side until he is done and then I will put the nummies away. This is after he already nursed on the other side. Fortunately, he doesn't usually ask to nurse when we aren't at home. Unfortunately, we're at home a lot.