GD- No time-out links or articles?

[MsMoMpls]

I am looking for the easiest to understand introductions to GD. I have a sister who is huge into punishment and we disagree on every aspect of parenting. Now my other sister has her first and he is 16 months old and they are just beginning to talk discipline. They have already tried time outs. I know they mean well, but they really haven't thought this through. Give me something to share with them.

Thanks to the most supportive women on the planet.

[DevaMajka]

Well, I have an 11 mo, so I don't have any experience, but I have read a lot of parenting books. lol
I have to admit I like the idea of time-out, if it's used as a cool down time, and not a punishment. Like asking your child to sit on the chair (with you sitting next to them if they prefer) and take a breather. I have a VERY ap friend who does this, and its not used as a punishment at all. Her 5 year old will decide on her own that she needs to chill out. That goes for parents too!!
I do not like the idea of time-outs used to deter behavior (if you do it, you will get a time-out). And I like even less the use of a "naughty chair" eww. Anyways, that's just imo.

Here are some links to time-out articles that might help.

The Case Against Time Out http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/peter_haiman.html

The Disadvantages of Time-Out
http://www.awareparenting.com/timeout.htm

Ok, that's all I can find right now from the sites that I like. HTH! and good for you for being so caring

I would also like to add a few books that I like with info on discipline
Becoming The Parent You Want To Be by Laura Davis - I know I recommend this one a lot, but I really like the discipline section, and it's not the type of book that would turn many parents off.
Also, Loving Your Child Is Not Enough. This is directed at older kids, but the same principles apply.

Becky
Keagan 11 mos

[Piglet68]

i was also gonna suggest www.naturalchild.org

[flyingspaghettimama]

How nice of you to do this for someone! I didn't have it planned out either but after seeing another little boy being put in time-outs at around 12 mos old, I decided against it for our disciplinary approach on purely instinctual reasons. It seemed to really distance the family and the kid totally didn't get it.

I think maybe having a developmental timeline helps - i.e. one year olds are just beginning to figure out cause and effect (i.e. I turn on the faucet and the water comes on, every time) so the concept of time-out for behavior might seem little frustrating. And there are so many other developmental and behavioral arguments against it.

I like Cohen's idea in Playful Parenting as well - that instead of having a time-out, having couch time to sit and talk/reconnect after a problem. My husband has always done this, so it's cool to read about it in a book - and to help ME do it more. http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/lifest...layful12.shtml

[satsuma]

Honestly, the site that convinced me the most was nopunish.net

His e-book, Parenting without Punishing, has many stories of what he did when his children were young and it's so wonderful that man was so patient and creative. He speaks against spanking, yelling and time outs too. He thinks all of them are fear tools.

My relationship with my child was wonderful up to when he was abused by a poorly chosen partner. Although I don't think he was badly traumatised, our friendship was never the same. Since then, I've never been the same and I find very hard not to punish, etc. I lost my creativity. Sometimes I think I am traumatising him more than the ex did, because he's gone and my child has no choice but have me in his life.