Ready, but not ready??

[IAmAMamaToLogan]

I hope I'm not alone in this. I am definitely ready for baby to come when he wants in terms of clothes being washed, birth supplies ready, etc... But I'm having a bit of trouble feeling mentally ready. Does that make sense??

I am even looking forward to labor knowing it will probably be back labor again because I felt so connected to each contraction with Adam.

Maybe I would go into labor if I could let that mental wall down. I just keep thinking that we have it all planned for him to come at the end of the month. My mom's co-worker is taking 2 weeks off and she's the only one left at the office so she couldn't leave right now. And my husband probably wouldn't take more then 2 days off even if my parents couldn't come here right away. I'm so scared of being alone with a newborn and still having to take care of 2 other kids without any help.

We went for a brisk walk last night to see if anything more would happen but I still just felt blah. This morning I still feel the same but I was able to sleep well last night. Any suggestions on how to get my mind on track with the rest of my body?

[soccerchic21]

I think that I am having the same problem and maybe that is why I am not going fully either. I have no suggestions just that I know how you feel.

[VioletMommy]

I'm with you right now, mama. Prior to this week, I was in a wonderful, peaceful place, ready for birth and feeling excited. Then life threw me for a loop, and I'm trying to get back to where I was. Here's what I think helped me get there before, and some stuff I'll try again:

I read lots of nice birth stories
I listened to a hypnobabies cd that has positive suggestions for a great birth.
I had a blessing way ceremony. Can you get together with a couple of friends and talk about how you feel, and perhaps they can serve you food and pamper you?
I sewed a nice-size pillow and stuffed it with loads of good-smelling herbs, with the intention of using it for labor.
Telling baby that "it's ok to come out as soon as you're finished!"
Labor was pretty much all I thought about, and I've noticed that I'm not doing that anymore.

If you really would like baby to come now instead of at the end of the month, try journaling all of your feelings about the issues. You can draw pictures, too, or work with clay. I think these are all great ways of getting your mind to shift in the direction of mental preparedness for labor (well, they worked for me, anyway)

Your situation is certainly more complex than mine, as this will by my first baby and I don't have the same concerns as you. And I'm very sorry that your dh won't be there to help and support you more. Mothers have never in history been expected to take on so much with so little support. I hope your mom will be able to stay with you as long as you need it. Can anyone else come for at least a couple hours a day if baby comes before your mom is off work? More power to ya, mamma, and be very vocal about the help you need.

Violet due July 18

[MamanFrancaise]

I feel the same way. I am READY but a little aprehensive still. Ugh. I wish I knew what was holding me back from feeling mentally prepared.

[NordicMamma]

The only thing that is holding me back right now is the fact that my mum (who will take care of ds) won't be here until Monday. Otherwise I feel totally ready right now.

I am even ALMOST looking forward to the contractions. I hope I do most of my labouring at night again, so that I can wander around on my own, listen to my music, just get on with it myself...

Is that weird? Sure I want my dh to be there for the birth, but I would like to labour mostly on my own.

[Max's Mami]

I feel the exact opposite. I have nothing ready - havent washed any clothes (only a few of the newborn diapers have been washed), dont have a bag packed, havent put the car seat in the car (sitting in the nursery still).

But mentally and physically I am sooo ready, even though I have 2+ weeks to go. Then I think "what am I thinking?! I havent finished getting stuff ready".

Still, if I went into labor now I wouldnt mind!

This is our last weekend going to visit DH in Tucson and after that we are staying home til the baby comes so I should have plenty of time to get things wrapped up and ready to go!

I have everything we need - its just not prepared!

[jeanieloz]

I'm pretty much ready, but just not for other things...
My mother is comming down the end of next week to help out with the other boys,

I'm more apprehensive about going into labor before she comes, Still afraid that this baby will not turn in time, afraid of having to have a c-section, and that my dh will be a little freaked out about that, he doesn't handle stress very well, and he wouldn't handle the kids, my being in hospital, and everything well. My older boys seem to be stressing out a bit, and fighting a LOT more than usual.
I also almost feel like this stress will keep this baby from turning, like I'm cursing myself!
How to be positive and get my mind from being so worried? HELP!
I think I will try the journaling, plus I've been taking a bath every night, with yummy smelling oils, we have a deep tub and I fill it up all the way and float face down, and think positive turning thoughts... I've been doing this in the pool too, but it's not as relaxing watching three other kids in the pool.
So I'm struggling as well, I have everything else ready, more than ready, and have for almost two weeks! Now just waiting for baby (sort of...)
Donna

[cherubess]

Until Monday I fully get what you mean about being ready but not mentally ready.

On Monday I actually wanted the baby to be born now as I had it with being pregnant.

However my feelings are in limbo at the moment as on Wednesday I went to hospital to monitor bub's movements (everything is okay) which was in the labour ward.

Unfortunately whilst I was there I heard a woman in another room ... obviously giving birth.

I will not go into details as I do not want to worry or scare other first time mammas.

So I am kind of back to the not mentally ready ... but just slightly.

I know that in the end I will be okay as women through the years have birthed babies and have been fine.

Besides ... I definately want an epi now.

[Pom]

Big hugs for all of us, huh?
I was feeling ready this morning, now not.

MamatoLogan, I posted some homeopathic remedies on the nat. induction thread...a few are for apprehension/big test feelings when you are near due, or late, and one for feeling good mentally but late. They are supposed to help you sync up mind and body, I think. Check em out if you want. Easy enough to take a few pellets, I always say.

I just posted some tangental fears on the chat week thread, but am now thinking I should delete. I don't want to scare the newbies, either!

[IAmAMamaToLogan]

I'm sadly relieved that so many of you understand how I feel. :*) I hope we all have peaceful and fast deliveries.

Pom, I'm taking a combo homeopathic from my midwife right now. It has actaea, caulophyllum, arnica, pulsatilla, and gelsemium. I haven't gone to see what you posted but I will talk to my midwife next week at my visit.

I was able to talk to my Mom last night and she said it wouldn't be a big deal to close the office for a day or two if her co-worker was on holidays (since her holidays would be around home anyway). And my husband said he would take as much time off as I needed him to.

My only real concern now is my friend who thinks she HAS to be at my birth. I don't want to hurt her feelings but I refuse to put myself in the position where I'm uncomfortable with her here. She is very loud and I don't trust her to be alone with my boys since she's worse then a kid herself. I'm positive she would cause my labor to stall out. We won't be phoning her and I'm sure she'll be PO'd but I'll deal with that after the fact.

This morning I had a couple of really good contractions that started in my cervix, came up through my belly, and wound their way into my back. That's what I like to feel! I hope to get through this weekend and at least hold out until Wednesday but I've talked to baby about coming when he's ready to. He gives me a reassuring kick..or a million. lol

Do babies usually move more or less prior to delivery? This guy seems to move non-stop now.

[soccerchic21]

Originally Posted by IAmAMamaToLogan

My only real concern now is my friend who thinks she HAS to be at my birth. I don't want to hurt her feelings but I refuse to put myself in the position where I'm uncomfortable with her here. She is very loud and I don't trust her to be alone with my boys since she's worse then a kid herself. I'm positive she would cause my labor to stall out. We won't be phoning her and I'm sure she'll be PO'd but I'll deal with that after the fact.

You could always just tell her that everything happened so fast or in a great whirlwind that you didn't have the time to call her or even think about it. I was reading an interesting thread in the midwives area the other day about people feeling like they HAD to be at births. Some of the stories were pretty crazy.

[kemmasmom]

Why is it that other people feel the "right" to be at YOUR birth? My MIL was that way with Kemma and I was so peeved about it. Fortunately (sort of) she got sick and couldn't come to the hospital to see Kemma at all. She didn't see her until she was about a week old. I wanted my momma and DH there and that was it. I wanted my daddy outside waiting, but he was out of town.